The (not MS) Word Thread

[unixman_again]

We used to say Vaxen

[6Foot2]

This piece of literature turbs and gusts me:

 

 

 

It had been a rough day, so when I walked into the party I was very

chalant, despite my efforts to appear gruntled and consolate.

 

I was furling my wieldy umbrella for the coat check when I saw her

standing alone in a corner. She was a descript person, a woman in a

state of total array. Her hair was kempt, her clothing shevelled, and

she moved in a gainly way.

 

I wanted desperately to meet her, but I knew I'd have to make bones

about it since I was travelling cognito. Beknownst to me, the hostess,

whom I could see both hide and hair of, was very proper, so it would be

skin off my nose if anything bad happened. And even though I had only

swerving loyalty to her, my manners couldn't be peccable. Only toward

and heard-of behavior would do.

 

Fortunately, the embarrassment that my maculate appearance might cause

was evitable. There were two ways about it, but the chances that someone

as flappable as I would be ept enough to become persona grata or a sung

hero were slim. I was, after all, something to sneeze at, someone you

could easily hold a candle to, someone who usually aroused bridled

passion.

 

So I decided not to risk it. But then, all at once, for some apparent

reason, she looked in my direction and smiled in a way that I could make

heads and tails of.

 

I was plussed. It was concerting to see that she was communicado, and it

nerved me that she was interested in a pareil like me, sight seen.

Normally, I had a domitable spirit, but, being corrigible, I felt

capacitated - as if this were something I was great shakes at - and

forgot that I had succeeded in situations like this only a told number

of times. So, after a terminable delay, I acted with mitigated gall and

made my way through the ruly crowd with strong givings.

 

Nevertheless, since this was all new hat to me and I had no time to

prepare a promptu speech, I was petuous. Wanting to make only called-for

remarks, I started talking about the hors d'oeuvres, trying to abuse her

of the notion that I was sipid, and perhaps even bunk a few myths about

myself.

 

She responded well, and I was mayed that she considered me a savory

character who was up to some good. She told me who she was. "What a

perfect nomer," I said, advertently. The conversation become more and

more choate, and we spoke at length to much avail. But I was

defatigable, so I had to leave at a godly hour. I asked if she wanted to

come with me. To my delight, she was committal. We left the party

together and have been together ever since. I have given her my love,

and she has requited it.

 

Below is "The Chaos" by Gerard Nolst Trenité written in 1922. It is supposed to demonstrate some of oddities of spoken English.

 

Dearest creature in creation,

Study English pronunciation.

I will teach you in my verse

Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.

I will keep you, Suzy, busy,

Make your head with heat grow dizzy.

Tear in eye, your dress will tear.

So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,

Dies and diet, lord and word,

Sword and sward, retain and Britain.

(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)

Now I surely will not plague you

With such words as plaque and ague.

But be careful how you speak:

Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;

Cloven, oven, how and low,

Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,

Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,

Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,

Exiles, similes, and reviles;

Scholar, vicar, and cigar,

Solar, mica, war and far;

One, anemone, Balmoral,

Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;

Gertrude, German, wind and mind,

Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,

Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.

Blood and flood are not like food,

Nor is mould like should and would.

Viscous, viscount, load and broad,

Toward, to forward, to reward.

And your pronunciation’s OK

When you correctly say croquet,

Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,

Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour

And enamour rhyme with hammer.

River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,

Doll and roll and some and home.

Stranger does not rhyme with anger,

Neither does devour with clangour.

Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,

Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,

Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,

And then singer, ginger, linger,

Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,

Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,

Nor does fury sound like bury.

Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.

Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.

Though the differences seem little,

We say actual but victual.

Refer does not rhyme with deafer.

Fe0ffer does, and zephyr, heifer.

Mint, pint, senate and sedate;

Dull, bull, and George ate late.

Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,

Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,

Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.

We say hallowed, but allowed,

People, leopard, towed, but vowed.

Mark the differences, moreover,

Between mover, cover, clover;

Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,

Chalice, but police and lice;

Camel, constable, unstable,

Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,

Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.

Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,

Senator, spectator, mayor.

Tour, but our and succour, four.

Gas, alas, and Arkansas.

Sea, idea, Korea, area,

Psalm, Maria, but malaria.

Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.

Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,

Dandelion and battalion.

Sally with ally, yea, ye,

Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.

Say aver, but ever, fever,

Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.

Heron, granary, canary.

Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.

Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.

Large, but target, gin, give, verging,

Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.

Ear, but earn and wear and tear

Do not rhyme with here but ere.

Seven is right, but so is even,

Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,

Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,

Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)

Is a paling stout and spikey?

Won’t it make you lose your wits,

Writing groats and saying grits?

It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:

Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,

Islington and Isle of Wight,

Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough,

Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?

Hiccough has the sound of cup.

My advice is to give up!!!

 

[StevieM]

How do you spell the letter w?

 

Edit: Not quite sure why, but that question just popped into my head.

[DJ-1701]

How do you spell the letter w?

 

Edit: Not quite sure why, but that question just popped into my head.

 

uu I believe...

[6Foot2]

How do you spell the letter w?

 

Edit: Not quite sure why, but that question just popped into my head.

 

This sounds like something that might pop up on Reddit's 'ShowerThoughts' Subreddit:

 

Link 1: Reddit: ShowerThoughts

 

BRB...

 

Hi. Back again:

 

Link 2: Reddit: ShowerThoughts: How Do You Spell The Letter W?

 

Bonus Guardian link:

 

Link 3: How do you spell "w"? | Notes and Queries | guardian.co.uk

Edited April 22, 2016 by 6Foot2
Add detail and new links to the post. :)

[dry]

I've got a proposition for a new word.

 

Imagine trying to describe what's going on in a room where many people are forgetting many things.

 

At the moment you can either say "There's a lot of forgetting of things going on", or you could say something along the lines of "People are being very forgetful in that room". Both either waste syllables or don't quite scratch that sweet spot that I feel this new word would hit.

 

Forgession.

 

Apparently to get it into the OED, it's got to be used by many people- so start using it please!

[StevieM]

uu I believe...

 

But that sounds nothing like double-you… double-yoo…double… oh forget it.

[6Foot2]

I've got a proposition for a new word.

 

Imagine trying to describe what's going on in a room where many people are forgetting many things.

 

At the moment you can either say "There's a lot of forgetting of things going on", or you could say something along the lines of "People are being very forgetful in that room". Both either waste syllables or don't quite scratch that sweet spot that I feel this new word would hit.

 

Forgession.

 

Apparently to get it into the OED, it's got to be used by many people- so start using it please!

 

To do that the members of Edugeek would have to have a complete lack of forgession.

 

Edited April 22, 2016 by 6Foot2
Insert quote to give my reply context.

[DJ-1701]

To do that the members of Edugeek would have to have a complete lack of forgession.

 

 

What's that word mean?

 

[6Foot2]

What's that word mean?

 

 

To paraphrase an MP:

 

I refer the right honourable gentleman to the answer I gave a moment ago

[StevieM]

To paraphrase an MP:

 

As did Omid Djalili on 'Don't Make Me Laugh' on Radio 4 last night.

[jinnantonnixx]

To do that the members of Edugeek would have to have a complete lack of forgession.

 

 

I couldn’t begin to fail to disagree with you less.

[Garacesh]

why does terrific mean good rather than as would seem more appropriate be related to terror/terrible

 

See also: Awful

Awe being a good thing, but awful being a bad thing.

[6Foot2]

Link:

[susie Dent Twitter Text Tweet]

 

 

[StevieM]

That's good to know, but can one be tressed?

 

tress (verb) - Arrange (a person's hair) into long locks. (Source: OED)

 

Does that mean, then, that the fabled 'damsel in distress' is nothing but a girl having a bad hair day?