Feeling Old

[Gibson335]

Hell's teeth!! My sprog is 26, still lives at home, and from what I've read on here is getting off very lightly indeed...but seriously, we don't want to make a profit out of her, so what we charge for rent is all inclusive and covers the extras we pay out for because she's at home.

 

I confronted 50 badly, but came out the other side...but now I realise that I wasn't disturbed about my own age, it was the age of my family and the knowledge that I'd be losing them from my life too soon...

[witch]

.but now I realise that I wasn't disturbed about my own age, it was the age of my family and the knowledge that I'd be losing them from my life too soon...

 

YES - well said. Whether it be children who move out - my eldest has gone and the next one down has just graduated and so will be off soon - or losing elderly parents (I have lost both of mine now), it is this that really makes you feel old.

Realising that you are now the older generation in the grim reaper's firing line is pretty major.

[GeeHubb]

YES - well said. Whether it be children who move out - my eldest has gone and the next one down has just graduated and so will be off soon - or losing elderly parents (I have lost both of mine now), it is this that really makes you feel old.

Realising that you are now the older generation in the grim reaper's firing line is pretty major.

 

Absolutely agree with that Witch. I had the same moment when I lost my Mum 2 years ago and realised that I am now the older generation and in the 'firing line'.

 

My 'youngsters' are 30 and 33 and living away from home so I don't see them that often. But, I am completely comfortable with the fact that I am 56 this year. Nothing to prove to anyone and hoping to grow old disgracefully, along the lines of the Jenny Joseph poem 'Warning' (look it up if you don't know it!)?

 

I don't feel any older than I did 20 years ago. It's just that things hurt a bit more now and I don't move about as easily as I once did. I work in the Primary school that my children attended, alongside a teacher who was in my daughter's class (now that makes me feel old!)

 

I, for one, enjoy being 'old' and can't wait to retire and spend my days gardening! (and wearing purple with a red hat that doesn't go and spending my pension on brandy...)

Edited June 26, 2013 by GeeHubb

[Sirbendy]

I'm 36, and I can't say as a rule that I feel old. Physically, I'm shot. Joint wear wise, I expect I'm a good deal older. However, as "me", I feel comfortable with things. Yes, 2 kids will make a difference..the comment about "vietnam vet" made me chuckle..it's true. We've reached "2 children, mortgage, 2 cars, 3 cats, 3 guinea pigs, 1 rabbit" stage...and yes, in my more sombre moments I dwell on the fact that I'm now a "responsible adult".

 

Then I file it under "to be considered later", and go and get the kids from nursery with some AC/DC on, and drive home with one doing air guitar and shouting "give it welly, dad!". I let my DD (3.5) sit on my lap and steer the car round car parks (automatic), I have great fun doing donuts on loose gravel parks with the kids in the car, and playing the "let DD be my satnav" game.."where should we go now?".."THAT way.". Good fun..it's led me to some interesting places.

 

My missus just rolls her eyes and calls me a child. My car, my rules.

 

I'm growing old, but I shall do so DISgracefully, and enjoy it. As to retirement and gardening, I'm mornings only anyway, so my PMs are spent in the garden with the kids now!

[ButterflyMoon]

I am fast approaching the big 60! Inside though am 27 and still full of mischief at times. By the time you get to this age as others have said you may have lost parents or siblings etc. There are two ways to deal with this, have a meltdown cause we are now of the generation who will most likely fade off this mortal coil OR you grab everyday by the neck and live in the moment. All we have is right now so I try my best to make it count!

[GeeHubb]

Excellent sentiments ButterflyMoon. No point in regretting things you didn't get to do when the time comes!

[Hedghog]

@witch

As my brother said to me at my mothers funeral last month "we are the grandparents now"

[JoeBloggs]

I'm 27, nearly 28 and just got back from Ibiza 18-30's (it was the cheapest deal!) and that made me feel slightly old!

 

Other ways I feel old is playing Football on a Saturday afternoon, last thing you want to see is a team full of 18, fit, fast lil whipper snappers!!

[witch]

@witch

As my brother said to me at my mothers funeral last month "we are the grandparents now"

 

Well, not quite yet I hope but I see where you are coming from.

[SpuffMonkey]

As a "retired" slacker - I've just joined U3A - and now I'm the youngest at any gathering by quite a margin - great!

[Lmsgpm2012]

Hi EduGeekers!

 

 

I Turned 34 yesterday and its the first time a really have felt my age (Even though I dont look it...Honest lol ).. Every prevoius year I have still felt 21 but this year I really do feel my age..

 

 

 

Have you ever had this experiance of feeling your age or older and if so what age it you get this horrible feeling?

 

 

Thanks

 

Colin (I once young feeling 33 year Old)

 

 

I've just turned 30 this year. I never felt old at all, still felt like a 16 year old, until I came to work at a primary school. Working around such young children makes me feel very old indeed.

[Gibson335]

I have two written things on my wall that I look at often:

 

Footfalls echo in the memory

Down the passage we did not take

Towards the door we never opened

 

and, part of a different longer piece which I focus on is:

 

...To put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I had come to die, discover that I had not lived.

 

When I am down, I look at these and find them inspiring.

[Hedghog]

@witch

You are not old enough to have any but I,alas,am.

[witch]

@witch

You are not old enough to have any but I,alas,am.

Well, I am, as my eldest is nearly 25 and my other two are 22 and 20, but none of them are in any position to have children yet

[broc]

As a recently 'qualified' 60+ Grandparent I can tell you it gives you a new lease on life having a grandchild. My grand-daughter was born in February this year in the midst of a whole series of wider family health misfortunes & she is the little ray of sunshine that makes life worth living Seeing her develop week by week is a joy to behold.

[ButterflyMoon]

Totally agree @broc my grandsons and granddaughter are the loves of my life and make all the dark scary days worthwhile. They bring so much joy into my life and everyone around them

[AMLinington]

@witch

As my brother said to me at my mothers funeral last month "we are the grandparents now"

 

Funnily enough, similar thoughts occurred to me when my grandmother passed away - my mum and her brother are now the 'top of the pyramid' (as I like to think of it) and all of us that were in the bottom tier 'grandchild' bracket have now moved up to the middle. Less than a month to go until the big 30 and I'm feeling a bit old - feels a bit like 'where has my life gone?'. House, mortgage, 2 cars, 1 Cat, 1 Rabbit, thinking about starting a family. 'Going shopping' now means 'food shopping' instead of going into town. I have to walk past pretteh shoes because we need new guttering and carpets. The prospect of shopping for homewares in Dunelm Mill and IKEA fills me with excitement and a sense of purpose. I no longer look at clothing and think 'frumpy and old' or 'something a 30 year old would wear', I think 'Oooo I like that'. My crafting is no longer a guilty secret hidden from the girls at school but something I promote, am proud of and occasionally sell! When I buy a car I am no longer looking primarily at style and power but how much it costs to tax and run and the fuel consumption. I have a responsible job doing important things instead of a Saturday job at WHSmith. My garden is for BBQs and plants. I have a greenhouse, a compost bin and veg patch.

 

But on the flipside:

I don't have to do homework or coursework or uni assignments so I'm free to kill a few braincells sewing in front of 'The Simpsons' or playing World of Warcraft until whenever I feel like it. I have my own home so I get up and go to bed when I please and watch what I like on TV. I bring in a wage packet and everything I own or use is MINE. I paid for it. If I WANT to spend some money on something I can. When I want to go somewhere or have a day out LeBoyfriend and I get in the car and go. I make my own rules about what is and isn't acceptable in my home and have been able to shuck off all the weird random arbitrary rules my mother seems to live her life by - like the weird rule about not using new stuff and keeping it 'for best'. When I finish work for the day I go home, snuggle Enzo, Snuggle Rocket, and put my feet up to enjoy half an hour of kitteh snuggles before LeBoyfriend gets home. I also get to eat only the things I like. Growing up can be kinda cool...

[tmcd35]

Absolutely agree with that Witch. I had the same moment when I lost my Mum 2 years ago and realised that I am now the older generation and in the 'firing line'.

 

My dad passed away early last year and I remember having similar thoughts at the time. My mum, hopefully, has quiet a few more years in her yet, but...

 

...it's quiet a sobering thought as a late thirty-something to know when she does go I'll be the eldest member of my family...

 

But then again, I plan to leave to atleast 100, so I'm not sure why that should bother me (my age/being the eldest. Not loosing mum - which would bother me!)

[pcstru]

(Not sure how appropriate this is here - I wrote it 15 years ago when my grandmother passed away. It wasn't that I felt immediately 'old', but it rings bells with the sense of change as our parents pass away leaving only us for our children to look 'up' to).

 

"This Old House"

 

Is almost unchanged in the last 30 years, almost my entire life. I'm not

just talking about the paint; on almost every surface surface live

the same objects that I always remember. The only testament to the

passage of time is the accumulation of ever more recent photographs.

These are propped up everywhere. In the back room stacked in envelopes,

the history of my family is captued, still moments pulled from the

chemical paper, transitory themselves - some are already fading, and

only able to tell the story to those in the know.

 

She is all around me, in the handwriting on little notes, her coat and

hat hanging by the door, purse and handbag in her room, her washing up

still on the draining board. The note by her bed - 'if I should go before

the rest of you, break not a flower nor inscribe a stone, Nor when I'm

gone speak in a sunday voice. But be the usual selves that I have known.

Weep if you must; parting is hell. But life goes on, so sing as well'.

 

My father too is here, many photographs of him in days few and many

before I was born. Two titled 'My Brian', perhaps lest he should go

unrecognised by his family, adorned as he is in them, with youth and

future. Then there are momentos of our childhood holidays here, little

plaster cast animals, a small plastic model sailing ship I built 20+

years ago. There are the toys and games we played with, the familiar 4mm

terminals that doubled as skittles, the backgammon board, ping pong set

and of course, leaning against the wall, the green felt top of the card

table across which one, two and occasionally and most adventurously,

'oooh, I say dear', a five pence piece would change hands, tipped from

the bowl of a firestone tyre ashtray.

 

After the funeral, cremation followed by a service in the local

Methodist Church, I went in search of her memorial to Stan, her husband,

my Grandfather, who died some 22 years ago. Within Bushy Park, in one of

the gardens, there is a bench with a plaque. I set off with some

dour demeanor; somehow the prospect of trailing round a whole, well

'parkfull', of seats, looking for one in particular, didn't fill me with

much confidence for success. I have done this 'pilgrimage' before, but

not for quite a few years. Almost unnervingly, the fourth seat I looked

at, set before a small pond in mature, but well managed (very well

'managed') woodland served due notice on any further searching. I sat

perplexing the ducks, rabbits and swans, exhibiting strange behaviour;

soft woefull moaning noises, occasional wracking motions and blowing my

nose rather a lot, certainly for the rather inadequete square of tissue

I then possessed. No one else passed that way to disturb my meditations,

only the wind in the trees and clouds, promising rain.

 

And tomorrow I will go. This house, that has seen only ever into the

lives of my family, will be empty and alone. The next visitors will

begin the process of dismantiling and fragmenting, the hub that was held

together by my grandmother will disintigrate, will be only memory. What

we will miss is only that which we never could touch. We have only what

we chose to take, and that an imperfect perception, imperfectly

remembered.

[ButterflyMoon]

@pcstru that just had me in tears!!!! What a beautiful piece of writing

[Earthling]

Turned 60 end of last October.

 

Like @witch said (about being 40), I suddenly felt really quite liberated, and still do.

 

As it happens, I'm having a bit of a laugh at all this 'Just got to 23/34/28/30 next month and feel my age' stuff. I can remember thinking the same thing. I can remember sitting in pubs with friends and we were all giving it, 'No, man, I ain't gonna live til I'm 50. Live fast, die young and leave a good-looking corpse'......and then all of a sudden, I was 50.

 

Something else @witch wrote too.........you still feel young inside. I still feel in my prime inside, even though my hair's thinning, my beard now grows grey and I've lost some teeth. In fact, I feel more capable of dealing with things now, because I've seen most of it happen before.

 

The only thing I lament is that time passes too quickly when you have children. You get caught up in working, providing for a family, 'growing pains', school consultations etc., and then when they're all growed-up and you don't have those worries anymore, you realise that it all went too quickly and you want it back again. I sometimes feel like I was so busy working away from home, doing four-hour daily commutes and so on, that I missed my youngest daughter's childhood completely.

[Gibson335]

When my nipper was born I was a business manager and away for long periods of time...after 9 months I decided that I had a 9-month-old daughter I barely knew, and decided to quit. I got other, regular hour jobs before coming into IT. I'm so glad I did, because whilst we had less material things, I was able to be there as she developed and I got to know her and don't have to look back and say 'if only' - surely two of the most miserable words when put together like that.

[6Foot2]

Feeling old for sure today! I have done something to aggravate my sciatica and now every move is agony.

 

Hate getting old[er]

[Andrew_C]

The last conversation I had with my mother was on just this subject. Over much wine at dinner we all decided we "felt" about 2/3 of our age. Mum at 65 knew she was over 40, as that party had been a blast. At 40+ I knew I was over 30 as that was when my daughter was born, but 40? Never.

 

She died the next morning. What a waste of pension payments.

[GeeHubb]

My father would have celebrated his 100th birthday in March this year. How old does that make me feel! (In my defence, I must point out that my brother and I came along later in his life.)

 

All my grandparents were born in the late 1800's. Jeez, when did I get so old - how has this happened!