Classic Phrases

[button_ripple]

What are the classic phrases that you hear on a regular basis. Today i got 'Is the Network On?' when someone had not synchronized there offline files and was told they were disconnected.

 

Also i have had 'My large white thingy on the wall is now only showing blue!'

 

 

this thread should be very interesting!!

[localzuk]

Oh I get the usual 'my password's not working' - which means they can't remember it. There's 'is the internet down?' because a website they wish to go to isn't loading (regardless of the rest of the sites they are using being ok). 'The projector isn't working!!!' because they either haven't turned it on, or haven't plugged it in to their laptop.

[markwatkins]

again! I love that with all of the implications of the word "again"

[elsiegee40]

"The internet isn't working" & "I can't logon to the internet"

 

Translation: My internet explorer home page is the logon screen for the school email system, not google, and I don't know how to use favorites or the address bar to get to google.

 

Thankfully, this is becoming less common, but...

 

Unfortunately this one isn't becoming less common: "The printer's not working"

 

Translation: The printer has run out of paper and I've tried to print this job 500 times

[Diello]

You just have to learn new uses for the English language really:

 

"It's not working" - Generally means "I don't know how to use it, can you come & do it for me?", it can also occasionally mean "It's not working".

 

"I haven't changed anything, it's just stopped working" - Generally means "Well, I let my 14 year old son have a field-day installing rubbish on it last night, but he knows computers and wouldn't have broken it".

 

"I must have my IWB working for next period, it's critical to my teaching" - Generally means, "I haven't planned a lesson, I was just going to get them to copy notes down from a PowerPoint I downloaded this morning".

[witch]

"Is the Internet down" _ usually when they haven't plugged something in

 

"Could you just....." as I am dashing down a corridor on some other errand of mercy

 

"I STILL can't do/get/see whatever.." Usually said in a cynical tone of voice after I have spent days fixing some fault or other!

[Domino]

"why have YOU changed X/Y/Z....?"

 

when they've done something silly....makes me laugh when they think I've nothing better to do then sit and fiddle with their settings.

[TechMonkey]

"Why have you banned me from the internet?" when actually they went to a dead site is a favourite here. Apparently thats all we do, ban people...... Well ok, close.

[Joanne]

the thingy isn't working in the room I'm in

 

Ok, what room are you in?

 

Errr... it's on of those off the corridor upstairs...

 

C block?

 

Yeah!... oh no wait... erm...

 

 

It's like squeezing blood from a stone some days... thank god for RM Management Console!!

[Domino]

i had a girl come in here a second ago needing a password change

 

Me: whats your username..?

 

Girl: errrr

 

Me: okay, what year are you in..?

 

Girl: 9

 

Me: And your name..?

 

Girl: Errrrrrr

 

...sometimes you just despair

[Diello]

E-mail last night from a Hotmail address - no indication of name.

 

"Hi, can you help? I can't get into do my homework, it won't let me signup".

 

OK... Who are you? Can't get into what? Sign-up to...?

 

Silly me, must have mislaid my list of student Hotmail addresses....

[markwatkins]

E-mail last night from a Hotmail address - no indication of name.

 

"Hi, can you help? I can't get into do my homework, it won't let me signup".

 

OK... Who are you? Can't get into what? Sign-up to...?

 

Silly me, must have mislaid my list of student Hotmail addresses....

 

How could you be so careless!!

[Gatt]

E-mail last night from a Hotmail address - no indication of name.

 

"Hi, can you help? I can't get into do my homework, it won't let me signup".

 

OK... Who are you? Can't get into what? Sign-up to...?

 

Silly me, must have mislaid my list of student Hotmail addresses....

 

 

So it was you that lost those 2 discs!!

[broc]

My Whiteboard pen is not working.....

 

Does that mean:

 

a) you have dropped the pen (AGAIN) and broken it?

b) you have not connected the whiteboard USB cable to your laptop?

c) The whiteboard is powered off?

d) The projector is switched off?

e) the laptop is not sending video output to the projector?

 

Of course not silly.... their dry-marker pen has run out of ink.

 

Now why I should be expected to keep dry marker pens for staff escapes me, after all they don't have plugs on them do they? Come to think of it, nor do IWB pens, so I suppose there is some logic behind it

[elsiegee40]

Me: "What's your surname?"

Child: *mumbles*

Me: "Could you spell that for me?"

Child: "S M I T H"

Me:

[Gatt]

Ooh first use of the "Report Post" button !!

[Diello]

Yup - our first spammer on vB! I've posted a message in the appropriate place for the Admins

[Geoff]

I get to use the 'give infraction' button too. Also I neg repped him, hah take that!

[Lee_K_81]

Classic Phrases:

 

While your not busy......... ok i'm sitting at a PC, i must be just playing solitare.

 

My internet isnt working.....no not my laptop my home pc.

 

*while I'm frantically pulling cables out of the cabinet trying to trace a loop back* so how long will it take? So if we say 10 mins? I really need to use the internet......

[K.C.Leblanc]

I just love teachers who start sentences with the words "What have you done to my?".

[laserblazer]

I think the battery's dead.

 

Can you run it using the power supply?

 

What the minibus?

[ICT_GUY]

This xmas, I had told my boss that I was planning to shut down the network over the holidays, including all servers. He then asked when I was going to restart the network. I gave the wrong answer, to which he replied that surely he could switch it all on and get it all up and running.

 

I took home all copies of the keys to my office / server cupboard and told him I would come in a day early. I also showed him the dilbert cartoon, the one where the pointy haired boss says that because he doesn't understand what it is that Dilbert does, it cant be that difficult.

[PEO]

I took home all copies of the keys to my office / server cupboard and told him I would come in a day early. I also showed him the dilbert cartoon, the one where the pointy haired boss says that because he doesn't understand what it is that Dilbert does, it cant be that difficult.

 

lmao

 

can you send me that please?

[tech_guy]

lmao

 

can you send me that please?

 

Yes, can I have a copy or a link to that Dilbert cartoon please!

[tech_guy]

I get to use the 'give infraction' button too. Also I neg repped him, hah take that!

 

Yes, take THAT! You bl@@dy sp@mmer!