The last movie I saw was...

[LeMarchand]

Gladiator II (Cinema)

 

The son of Maximus is captured and sent into the arena, where he is determined to use his growing fame to take revenge on the Roman general who destroyed his home city and whose men killed his wife. But things get a bit more complicated as the two learn the truth about each other.

 

I didn't have particularly high hopes for this one but ended up thoroughly enjoying it. Like with his "Blade Runner", Ridley Scott serves up a film that feels shot on location in another time period - even in shots that you know must be CG. Yes it plays hard and fast with history, though some of it has some connection to what really happened, but the spectacle! A couple of nitpicks: The timescale seems off, with the film seemingly taking place over a few days, and the score is curiously muted though this may have been to highlight the effect when we get callbacks to "Now We Are Free".

 

Not as good as the original, but worth a look.

[LeMarchand]

Alien: Romulus (Mid range rental)

 

Trailer NSFW due to F Bombs

 

 

Desperate to break free from want amounts to an indentured life in a mining colony, a group of young people plan on salvaging equipment from a ship in near orbit so that they can get to a better life in a different colony. What they don't know is that the ship was a research vessel. For Wayland Yutani.

 

Starring a bunch of up-and-comers including Cailee Spaeny (Pacific Rim: Uprising, Devs, Civil war), Archie Renaux (Shadow and Bone) and Isabela Merced (Dora the Explorer, Madame Web, Instant Family), who looks like a young Karen Allen in this, along with an extended cameo this is basically "Alien/s: The Greatest Hits" but it works wonderfully. Heresy alert: I think it's probably my favourite "Alien" movie as I found the first a bit overhyped and the second completely overhyped. Well worth a look. Wish I'd seen it theatrically.

[LeMarchand]

Rebel Ridge (Netflix)

 

 

Whilst cycling with a backpack containing over $30k ($10k to bail out his cousin and the rest to buy a pickup for their putative new business) an ex-marine is run off the road by corrupt cops and the cash is seized with little chance of it being able to be reclaimed. So he must use his particular set of skills to try to get at least the bail money back as the clock is ticking because if the cousin ends up in the main prison his chances of survival are low.

 

OK action flick but a bit "A Team" like in that the hero somehow avoids actually killing anyone. The ending is a bit of a damp squib and the title is misleading, though.

[LeMarchand]

The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim (Cinema)

 

 

Set 200 years before the OG trilogy, this tells the story of a civil war in Rohan through the eyes of the king's daughter.

 

I'm not a huge fan of anime or Tolkien's writing (never been able to get further than the first LotR book) but loved the movies. I wasn't expecting to enjoy this, but it turned out to be much better than I was expecting. That said, I'd much rather have seen it as live action - though I guess this would have cost around 10x the price. I can't help but feel the trailer above may only have reminded people how much they loved the originals and made them feel the same as me. Worth a look if you're interested but be quick - it's not got a second week at our cinema. That said, expect an early release to streaming.

[LeMarchand]

Carry-On (Netflix)

 

A TSA worker, stuck in a rut, becomes involved in a plot to smuggle a case containing a nerve agent on board a plane on Christmas Eve.

 

Yes, it's pretty much "Carry on... Die Hard 2" with a lower budget. OK, but not thrilling enough to stop you questioning why people are getting away with such actions. If you want a brain off actioner and you have Netflix it might entertain you; if not, you're not missing out unless you want to see Taron Egerton try to outdo Tom Cruise in the "dramatic running" stakes.

[Roberto]

Carry-On (Netflix)

 

A TSA worker, stuck in a rut, becomes involved in a plot to smuggle a case containing a nerve agent on board a plane on Christmas Eve.

 

Yes, it's pretty much "Carry on... Die Hard 2" with a lower budget. OK, but not thrilling enough to stop you questioning why people are getting away with such actions. If you want a brain off actioner and you have Netflix it might entertain you; if not, you're not missing out unless you want to see Taron Egerton try to outdo Tom Cruise in the "dramatic running" stakes.

 

Watched this the other day. We enjoyed it but does require you to put your brain in low-power mode as you say.

[FN-GM]

Carry-On (Netflix)

 

A TSA worker, stuck in a rut, becomes involved in a plot to smuggle a case containing a nerve agent on board a plane on Christmas Eve.

 

Yes, it's pretty much "Carry on... Die Hard 2" with a lower budget. OK, but not thrilling enough to stop you questioning why people are getting away with such actions. If you want a brain off actioner and you have Netflix it might entertain you; if not, you're not missing out unless you want to see Taron Egerton try to outdo Tom Cruise in the "dramatic running" stakes.

 

I also watched it. It was ok! I didn’t turn off but don’t think it will be watched again.

[FN-GM]

For those who have seen Carry-On, I just spotted this on Facebook.

 

[Ditto]

For those who have seen Carry-On, I just spotted this on Facebook.

 

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You have to hope no one is daft enough to try!

[LeMarchand]

A Very British Christmas aka A Very Yorkshire Christmas (Prime Video)

 

An American opera singer's flight is delayed and she somehow ends up in an isolated station somewhere that has a steam train that ends its journey in Knaresborough though is later revealed to be a short taxi ride away from the town. A fellow yank helps her find lodgings in a failing holiday camp with a hunky widower owner with a wise-beyond-her-years kid who speaks Yorkshire, unlike her dad.

 

This one makes Hallmark Xmas movies look like Oscar contenders, with nonsensical plot points, some of which seem to be forgotten about, and dodgy acting. Nice scenery, though.

 

Abigail (Sky Cinema)

 

A group of criminals is brought together to kidnap a rich man's daughter and take her to an out of the way mansion where they must hold her for a day whilst waiting for the ransom. Except that's not what the real plan is...

 

Efficient and fun horror. The girl playing Abigail was excellent and, despite a late start, I did not feel my eyes drooping at any point. The "order of deaths" was pretty predictable but the only other complaint I'd make is that there were two obvious exit points that weren't tried (that could have been explained away with a line) but the third was so glaring (there's a fight in front of sunlight through what appears to be thin slatting) that it kinda takes you out of the movie for a while.

[FN-GM]

Detainment (2018)

Short movie - 30 mins

 

Two ten year-old boys are detained by police under suspicion of abducting and murdering a toddler. A true story based on interview transcripts and records from the James Bulger case, which shocked the world in 1993.

 

I found the production quality was good as well as the acting. I found it much harder to watch than I thought I would. Probably as I have a child the same age as James was. Horrific story.

[LeMarchand]

Christmas movie time at Château LeMarchand.

 

That Christmas (Netflix)

 

 

A blizzard leaves the Christmas plans of the inhabitants of Wellington-on-Sea thrown into disarray. Maybe Santa can help?

 

Kid's animation from Richard Curtis that is quite fun and occasionally touching. If you're not a Curtis fan, it's unlikely to covert you, though.

 

Our Little Secret (Netflix)

 

Trailer features inadvertent drug use.

 

 

Two exes, meeting their current partner's parents for the first time, find they are dating siblings. They try to keep their past together a secret but old feelings are hard to shake off.

 

Not a future classic, but an above average romcom. The church reading scene raised a few audible chuckles.

[LeMarchand]

Dear Santa (Paramount +)

 

 

Dyslexic Liam's letter to Santa is delivered to its addressee, Satan, who gives him three wishes in exchange for his soul.

 

Not as riotously funny as early Farrelly Brothers' movies, but raises a few laughs and has a typically warm heart. Not worth subbing to P+ to see, but if you already have access it's worth a look.

[LeMarchand]

A Christmas Karen (Prime Video)

Yes:

 

 

• This is "A Christmas Carol" with a typical Karen as the Scrooge character
  
• I do regret explaining the "Karen" concept to my wife, thus piquing her interest
  
• I am ashamed to admit that there were a couple of bits that made me laugh
  

 

No

 

• This is not worthy of your time
  
• It was not my choice of film
  
• It's not the worst film I've ever seen, but it's been a long time since I saw something this bad
  

[Ditto]

The Shallows last night on BBC1 - a not too bad shark movie, with some stunning scenery of Lord Howe Island in the Tasman sea. If you like a shark movies and have little else to do, it is available on iPlayer currently.

[Ditto]

Last night on Netflix The Six Triple Eight. It's an amazing and important story, but for me the movie didn't match the level of that. It's still good, very good, but something about it along the way didn't sit quite right - a feeling of woodenness and lack of depth, yet at other times very powerful. Reviews are mostly positive but then I came across the Huffington Post review and they nailed exactly my thoughts - see https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/the-six-triple-eight-netflix-tyler-perry_n_67634b9ee4b0f283a8092c0d.

 

All that said, still very much worth a couple of hours of your time, especially on these cold nights!

[Simcfc73]

Civil War (Prime)

 

Civil War is a 2024 dystopian action thriller film written and directed by Alex Garland, starring Kirsten Dunst, Wagner Moura, Cailee Spaeny, Stephen McKinley Henderson, Sonoya Mizuno, and Nick Offerman.

I'm sure there's a message somewhere but I didn't get it. Pretentious twaddle.

[LeMarchand]

Jigra (Netflix)

 

 

When Satya's brother is tricked into taking the fall for a drugs offence, she is determined to see him freed. By any means necessary.

 

I've only seen star Alia Bhatt as the love interest or in "girly" roles, while here she plays a very tough cookie before transforming into an action star. The movie, too, transforms from a drama/prison drama to a prison break (actually breaks) actioner. Not bad, but not great. Those put off by song and dance numbers will be pleased to hear the only one here is in the end credits. Even then, it's more of a song and pose number. There are a number of musical montages, though. Most of these do little more than stretch out the running time.

 

Mission: Cross (Netflix)

 

Police captain Mi-seon is worried that her marriage is getting stale, but she finds that there are things she doesn't know about her husband.

 

Korean action comedy, full of that OTT mugging that seems a staple of far eastern comedy. I was very tired when we started this and missed most of the middle third. I'm not going to see what I missed, as I suspect it's not worth the effort. The sewage truck chase sequence was amusing, though.

[6Foot2]

 

A socially awkward, trivia-obsessed woman whose life revolves around her favorite quiz show. When a family crisis arises, she and her eccentric, free-spirited sister must team up to solve the problem, leading to an unexpected adventure.

 

"Quiz Lady" is available to stream via BBC iPlayer.

[LeMarchand]

Back In Action (Netflix)

 

 

Jamie Foxx and Cameron Diaz play spies who gave up the life to start a family. 15 years later, their past catches up with them...

 

Fun action thriller, similar to, but slightly better than Netflix's own "The Family Plan". If you're in the mood for a light-hearted, brain-off action movie and have access to Netflix this might fit the bill.

[LeMarchand]

Next Goal Wins (Disney)

 

 

A Dutch coach is forced to take on the worst national football squad ever: American Samoa. Can he help them score just one goal?

 

Based very loosely on a true story, this is a fun, heartwarming movie. I'm not at all interested in footie, but thoroughly enjoyed it. Well worth a look if you have Disney.

[LeMarchand]

Star Trek: Section 31 (Paramount)

 

Empress Philippa Georgiou has dropped off the grid and is running a bar outside of Federation Space. Section 31 come calling, needing her help.

 

This seems to be the latest movie that everyone is lining up to give a kicking to. I actually quite enjoyed it. It's not a classic and it's not particularly "Trek", but it's a watchable 100 minutes. I'd watch a sequel, though the reception to this suggests that won't be happening.

[Ditto]

White Bird recently released on Amazon. Good, very very good. I'd thoroughly recommend watching this and hearing others views.

[BobbyDazzler]

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, really enjoyed it and looking forward to the story Arc on this trilogy

[Ditto]

Made in Italy - I stumbled on this on C4 late and ended up seeing it though until far too late at night! I found it very engaging. It get's mixed reviews, but it's only after watching and checking the reviews, that I learnt of the added poignancy for the 2 lead actors. Worth a watch, but start earlier than I did!