Dos_Box Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 After a winter lull it appears the unseen office monsters have come out of hibernation. The EduGeek office is in a managed office block here in Preston that we share with several other companies, who either employ monsters or bizzare Mr Men mutants. For example today I note that Mr Messy is back. If you remember your Mr Men books you will recall that Mr Messy used to leave dirty marks wherever he had been, and here it is no exception. Regardless of the weather (currently bone dry and sunny) the office Mr Messy has been in the toilets and kitchenette leaving his muddy footprints everywhere. He also appears to have undergone some kind of hair cutting ritual in the gents toilet with hair trimmings all over the place! Also back is the toilet paper monster who insists on filling up the gents toilet with unused toilet paper without even bothering to flush it away. I suspect they may also be the stink monster whose lingering BO lurks around corners in the office corridor to catch the unwary. I have not as yet managed to see any of these in the flesh, and nor would I want to, especially in-denial-bulemic-monster who fills up the communal fridge with food then leaves it to go off having never removed it. This process repeats on a monthly basis. But at least I found out who the milk monster was that kept using up all of the free milk we get provided for brews. It was an office down the way who though that having cereal at the desk in the morning was the way to go. They, thankfully have now moved on. Do you have any unseen workplace monsters (kids exempt here BTW!)?
soveryapt Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 Do you have any unseen workplace monsters (kids exempt here BTW!)? Teachers then .. And yes, I know you said unseen, some of them are here! lol ..
SYNACK Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 There is the mythical 'wear and tear' monster that stalks the halls spilling coffee and trampeling on equipment. Does it count?
soveryapt Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 Ooo .. I have the "I can't unplug a laptop trolley from the wall before I try to move it so the socket wrenches out weekly" monster here .. I actually went out and bought some bolts last night to fix it back in .. so it's either going to say put or rip the entire back off the laptop trolley if they do it again ..
Dos_Box Posted March 29, 2012 Author Posted March 29, 2012 The rule here I think is that the monster in question has never been sighted and it's identity remains unknown.
Domino Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 We've got a conference phone unplugging monster - especially funny as the voice vlans are separate from the office lan, so I'm not sure what the monster is hoping to achieve...
SYNACK Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 We've got a conference phone unplugging monster - especially funny as the voice vlans are separate from the office lan, so I'm not sure what the monster is hoping to achieve... Re-enacting Scream... "Oh no, the phones don't work... Arggggggghhh..." etc. ? 1
bondbill2k2 Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 (edited) Ours is the buoyancy beast, it appears to leave 'floaters' in the gents staff loo un-flushed or they are such impressive samples they simply refuse to flush. Several times now! Ooo .. I have the "I can't unplug a laptop trolley from the wall before I try to move it so the socket wrenches out weekly" monster here .. I actually went out and bought some bolts last night to fix it back in .. so it's either going to say put or rip the entire back off the laptop trolley if they do it again .. This one gets around! Been here half a dozen times in the last year Edited March 29, 2012 by bondbill2k2
witch Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 We have a heaphone removing monster here - never been seen by anyone but it must exist because at least 2 sets of headphones vanish on a weekly basis
SYNACK Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 Ah, there is also the cutlery monster that seems to eat all the staffroom cutlery aboy two weeks after it gets replaced.
localzuk Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 Ah, there is also the cutlery monster that seems to eat all the staffroom cutlery aboy two weeks after it gets replaced. Must be the same one who eats all the teaspoons everywhere I've ever been.
soveryapt Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 Must be the same one who eats all the teaspoons everywhere I've ever been. everywhere YOU have been .. hmm .. maybe you are a bit like a werewolf in that you have a vague recollection of something but you're not really in control and in actual fact you are the cutlery eating monster?! See, I'm like Sherlock me ..
localzuk Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 everywhere YOU have been .. hmm .. maybe you are a bit like a werewolf in that you have a vague recollection of something but you're not really in control and in actual fact you are the cutlery eating monster?! See, I'm like Sherlock me .. Interesting... I may have to set up some CCTV gear to check! You never know, I may be able to get a magazine deal out of it!
bondbill2k2 Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 Mr Audio thief has been again as I was writing this post a request from a teacher 'the sounds not working in my classroom' That's the 3rd audio cable in a week! I even put multiple cable ties to the desk on an area which has other sections either end so it couldn't be pulled off and super tight so they couldn't get the head of the cable out and a 2nd cable tie in the lock hole on the computer case!
SYNACK Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 everywhere YOU have been .. hmm .. maybe you are a bit like a werewolf in that you have a vague recollection of something but you're not really in control and in actual fact you are the cutlery eating monster?! See, I'm like Sherlock me .. What would that even be, a wheaermagpie
laserblazer Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 We have a ghost that poos pencils. You can see his droppings all along the corridors.
Jamman960 Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 We seem to have a Theatre monster who steals/borrows cables/other bits - we have spares of almost everything in there but they always seem to dissapear when they're actually needed!
simpsonj Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 I have a monster who likes to eat keyboard keys, expertly ripping them off the laptop and gobbling them up. Though we have a flash drive fairy that kindly leaves flash drives plugged into PCs at the end of every lesson...
GrumbleDook Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 We have the photocopier phantasm. It seems that in between someone printing something and the next person coming along the previously full paper trays are suddenly empty and it is most definitely not the case that the previous folk haven't bothered to put in paper after doing a large print run!
36Degrees Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 Mug monster: 30 new cups bought for staffroom, one week later they're nowhere to be found. Key monster: Last person to use hall AV equipment swears blind they returned the keys to the main office. They miraculously reappear later that day at a time when the office is unattended or are found next to the AV equipment by the dance teacher when she goes to set up for her lesson. On / off monster: The power socket on the wall was definitely on when they checked (after i'd asked) but now I have walked the length of the school the socket is off. Switching it on makes the equipment work. Amplifier monster: The amplifier was definitely set to AUX when they checked (after i'd asked) but now I have walked the length of the school it is set to DVD. Switching it to AUX makes the sound from the computer come through the speakers. At the last company I worked for one of the ladies used to send an email around all the other female members of staff wanting to know who the "Phantom sh**er" was. Apparently this monster used to leave logs that a Canadian lumberjack would be envious of and then not bother to flush the toilet!
Pete10141748 Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 (edited) I've got a "Dell Laptop Charger Eating Monster" here, every term I buy a few as spares. I never hand them out, but they seem to dissapear anyway...... And he partners up with the "Un-Catchable Cable Stripper" who pulls the rubber casing off the laptop charger wires so the Eater can gets to the tasty coloured wires underneath. NOM! We've also got a "Teaspoon Poltergiest" who keeps moving all of the teaspoons into this one teachers' classroom along with a pile of mugs too. Oh and of course, the "Phantom of the Opera (or Firefox, or Safari...)"* who goes around trying to install web-browers other than Internet Explorer on staff laptops, and leaving them at the "enter administrator details" UAC window. *see what I did there? Edited March 29, 2012 by Pete10141748
bondbill2k2 Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 *see what I did there? I did, I did... *begins very slow clapping*
Pete10141748 Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 I did, I did... *begins very slow clapping* A-thankyou
elsiegee40 Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 The staff room mug monster is a regular nuisance. It keeps moving mugs to other buildings Then there's the blu-tac eating monster who nibbles away at all the displays until everything falls down. That one followed me from my last school.
SpuffMonkey Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 In a previous job (not a school) we had a toilet monster that liked to smear excrement all over the walls of the cubicles. On one famous occasion he even made a "Stonehenge"-type arrangement on a toilet seat, much to the fury of the office manager, who had to arrange the cleaning up. We never knew for certain who it was, though it did stop when a certain member of staff left for pastures new...
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