Ye gods, it's been a LONG time!

[Sirbendy]

Hello All! Good god, It's been an AGE since I was on here. SO much has changed.

 

My website has been replaced, now "Sirbendy.wordpress.com"

 

I am now single after 14 years, sharing care for my kids and trying to put things back together.

 

I no longer own a house, I've moved back in with the parents (easiest option - the house was more ideal for the kids, so their mum is buying me out, and then she/the kids can keep the house in the ideal place for schools)

 

And then, in the old adage of "bad things come in 3's", I went to advise the head that my personal circumstances had changed drastically, to be told "Your job in IT is on run-out anyway and won't be there after September". I had to laugh. However, I was offered a position in...wait for it...Science! After many years in IT Support, I am now a Science Technician. Talk about a change.

 

The pay is less, but I have no mortgage now...I just need to keep the car fuelled, pay toward the kids, and rebuild my life and finances. I also now work term time only, which means I get ALL school holidays with my kids here, which is time no money could EVER buy. In a Normal week, I see them monday nights, have them wednesday overnight, then have them Friday/Saturday/Sunday morning. Not the 24/7 I crave, but that can't happen now. The kids accept that, but not willingly. At least they get lots of time with both of us, without us arguing with each other.

 

I'm sorting them a custom bedroom etc here, to their design. I'm setting out a section of the garden for them too. Luckily out here in the sticks (Anyone know of Wroxeter?), it's quiet, big gardens and minimal cars, so they love it. I'm trying to rediscover my inner geek..it's SO hard though, right now. I'm either tired, running around with the kids, or without the kids and feeling very low and hopeless..I know that'll ease eventually though. I have all my stuff in the garage..solar panels, SLAs, electronics stuff, engines to fix etc..I keep forcing myself to do things.

 

My beloved Astra has been SORNED..the ePAS went intermittent, and nearly put us in the river, so after Vx quoted me a packet for a new rack, I decided to give the old girl a rest. She's now sat on the huge drive here, next to the family Focus, and my new drive..a Ford Fusion 2 with EST Auto/Semi auto transmission. Bit of an odd beastie, but it's good.

 

I've since repaired the Astra - new rack my arse. The Alternator "run" output line has gone intermittent...without that, the ePAS pump goes offline. I just wired it direct to 12v. All good again. It's there if I need it. Until I do, the kids have a full size car as a toy..they LOVE that. One day it'll be a classic..and they can have it if they wish..it's not being disposed of.

 

So..life has had a reboot effectively...I'm still kicking though, just feeling quite aimless and isolated at times..and I know my site is missing bits..it'll be sorted eventually..

[ZeroHour]

Good to see you again even though its not under the best of circumstances.

[Sirbendy]

And you - as they say, it can only be up from here.. Life will get easier..got the kids to keep me going and set my goals. They are the most important job I have now..

[Norphy]

Sorry to hear about your troubles. Hope things are improving for you.

 

However, I was offered a position in...wait for it...Science! After many years in IT Support, I am now a Science Technician. Talk about a change.

 

 

Out of curiousity, how is this going? Are people still seeing you as the IT tech and trying to rope you in to sorting their computer problems or have your SLT told your staff to leave you alone on that front?

[elsiegee40]

Welcome home. Back on edugeek where you belong

 

Sorry to hear of all your troubles. The eduhobnobs are still on unlimited supply. Some things don't change

[pcstru]

It sounds like you have been having a tough time but are managing to maintain a positive attitude despite difficult circumstances. Good to see you posting again.

[speckytecky]

Sorry to hear of your woes @Sirbendy And I hope things will be on an upward curve for you moving on.

 

I'm a tad concerned how your IT job vanished and the school then offered you your new job. We're you effectively tuped? Seems that despite all the various employment rules in place nowadays the management and governors are very much able to shuffle us minions around as they like.

[Sirbendy]

I went into the office, explained that my life of 14 years (or term of employment thus far there, as it also was) had just imploded catastrophically, and was literally told, word for word "Due to budgetary issues, tightening belts etc, we needed to downsize IT (3 man crew, one (me) part time), so your post is redundant as of September."

 

But, I was also given the spiel of "exemplary service to the school for 14 years" etc, and then "There are 2 jobs coming up in science...as you know, both tech are retiring...would you consider moving sideways?".......I said, "What do I know of Science? My quals on that front are old GCSEs"...got in response, "You're a fast learner, you'll get 5 months training, and there's always google..".

 

Well..when your job, home, personal life and everything else in in the grinder..what's left to lose? The most important thing in my life is my kids. They're safe whatever, so...one of herselfs complaints was that I never took risks etc..and I thought "WTF. Roll with it, if nothing else it's experience for the CV, and it could be fun!" In fact, I stated similar to the head..heh. I had a smile on my face too.. I think it may have been "The hell with it, I signed up to serve the headteacher, I stand by it. I accept, and I'll see if I can do it."

 

I then had 3 weeks to debrief the IT team and train them in "my" areas...imaging, sysprep, MDT, Cisco IP Phones, callmanager etc. Not to mention 14+ years of in dept hardware knowledge, before I decanted wholesale to science. The IT team (including the IT director) were as surprised as me when I told them..when I got back to the office, I was called in to discuss the rollout schoolwide of SSDs over the summer..and said "Not my beef anymore.."...

 

Me and an ex-TA have replaced the Previous science techs, the senior one had been in post for 30 or so years..learning curve be damned. It's a vertical takeoff!

 

He's a chem-head, luckily...I never was that good at chemistry, but I'm learning in terms of making up molar solutions, iodine, and the various bottles of pretty fluids we need.

 

I seem to have a knack for Physics, Head of Dept is talking about getting me trained up as AS level tech for sixth form, plus the possibility of "classroom time". Suits me, life is for learning now.

 

In terms of how I find it...it's rare I get pestered for IT support, although I do admit I am happy to take over the science IT support if needed to offload the guys..it's all so much "no brainer" after all this time.. I commonly get asked to lend a hand upstairs, or offer advise, or help with things like DTs laser cutters (again, one of "my" areas). Some people have seen me, done a double take and "Eh? YOU? Why in Science?"...I mean, I've been doing it since may..people see the labcoat, not the face.

 

What have we often said, nobody notices the low level staff and the ones who actually make it go? I agree.

 

I still wear my pinstripes and waistcoat, but I enjoy wearing the battered labjacket with a sharpie in the pocket too..heh. Gets a bit of a stare when I'm shopping for supplies in supermarkets..

 

So much to learn, no time to sit, often have to eat on the run, forever washing up, and loads of stuff to fix, tune and tweak, along with an invoicing and inventory system to overhaul..it's good fun.. Sometimes I work late on mights I don't have the kids...there's something therapeutic about having Planet rock on, mixing things in the fume hood, or making glass tubing for whatever, or even re-blading the scalpels..heh. Big kids playground!

 

The downsides....organs. Eyes, I've got used to. My stock joke, "I hate being watched as I work". Or as I once said when the DT tech accused me of flirting with someone "I only have eyes for you, darling...Here they are, look! Sheeps ones, ha!"...the look on his face, priceless. Lungs, hearts, kidneys? Dissections? Bloody boards and things to wash up? Grim. Didn't mind the preserved rat..he was fun to talk to, always had a smile for me. Well, it looked like one.

 

I don't know how long it'll last, or how long my body will take the strain for..but I'm going to enjoy each day as much as I can and not worry, because the worst that can happen, has happened. As long as I still have my kids and they love me, nothing else matters. I've had then from Friday through to 2 hours ago, and enjoyed every flu-ridden, puke laden minute.. I've set up my life insurance, they're covered to the tune of 50k each, this house is left to me, and in turn to them, family as trustees...now I just intend to build up finances, experience new things, enjoy the experiences and spend as much time with them as I can, having quality time, and try to figure out who *I* am now, as odd as that sounds.

[witch]

@Sirbendy Goodness me, that is certainly a change for you. It sounds like you are getting yourself sorted out though and it is lucky that you had your parents house to go home to and I am sure they are happy to help out.

Science Tech? I thought about a sideways move myself when the DT tech job came up a while ago - in many ways I wish I had gone for it, but a friend of mine who was a TA wanted it badly so I thought not.

I admire you for sorting things out and being so positive about the changes in your life (I am sure that positivity is hard-won, at times).

Whilst you don't have your children 24/7, the words of a divorced male friend of mine - "I get more quality time alone with my children than I ever had when I was with my partner" might resonate with you.

Don't be a stranger - you might not be in IT anymore but you are still a fully paid-up edugeek

[CAM]

The circumstances suck but science tech actually sounds quite cool. Labcoat and all the craziest stuff in the school to tinker with!

 

Glad to hear the Astra is well! They just refuse to die!

[rickjames]

So they chose to stick with a P/T guy over you? Whaaaaat?

 

I guess its each to their own in their own career choices but I'd have started looking for IT work elsewhere if that were myself, but hey ho. Keep on going etc.

[Ketlane]

What a mixture of news - great to hear that you are surfacing with some resounding hopes and excitement. On a practical note, check whether the school is a member of CLEAPSS - if not, get them to join. Best source of expert advice and support for science techs and teachers.

[Sirbendy]

Nah, I was the P/T guy.. They just took the team from 3 to 2, basically...3 was still quite stretched. Budgetary madness. Admittedly, the ratio of Tech:Staff in science is 1:7 right now, which feels quite tight across 11 labs, but then IT is more like 1:250 Tech: Workstation..shouldn't complain. Science tech is way more manual and demanding in its way..no scheduling, no scripts..pre-prepare, test, prioritise, prepare, deploy, assist, collect, wash, tidy away..we have a small prep room, it can be quite claustrophobic.

 

It's taught me a lot already, but it's settling down...I come in to a req board that's not visible due to the amount of sheets on it, and it fails to raise my blood pressure. Like I always said in IT..."If you panic, you have lost. Take it steady, break it down and rock on". We're doing OK. People may say the prep room is a mess, my response is "Are you offering to help? It's a working space in a busy department, it looks worse than it is, we're doing fine.".

[Sirbendy]

What a mixture of news - great to hear that you are surfacing with some resounding hopes and excitement. On a practical note, check whether the school is a member of CLEAPSS - if not, get them to join. Best source of expert advice and support for science techs and teachers.

 

I love CLEAPSS..heh. It makes fascinating reading...bear in mind I love things like this, and enjoy reading haynes manuals etc- CLEAPSS reads quite like them.

[Sirbendy]

"....I get more quality time alone with my children than I ever had when I was with my partner"......

 

That's it exactly..not her fault, not mine either..we had kids, we got into routines, we got wrapped up in parenting. She was younger than me, she wanted more now the kids are older (2.5 and 5)..I was happy to be "Dad", she has said "You were so wrapped up in the kids, you forgot "us""..no, I never forget her, but we were both that protective over the kids we never went out, let babysitters look after them etc. After 5 years, I'm not surprised she wants a bit more of a life.

 

I'm 37, 38 coming up...I'm disabled, limited mobility, easily tired, was falling asleep putting the kids to bed or downstairs after, and after a day of IT, the last thing I wanted to do at home was spark up the laptop or even talk IT/Web, TBH. It's an age gap thing, maybe. Bear in mind that I was in counselling for job-related stress/mild depression last year or the one before also...it took it's toll.

 

Even my friends have now said "You did change a lot..you were quiet, you'd lost your spark, we were quite worried about you, TBH.."..it was news to me. They're now saying "We can see the old you again coming back...the humour, the ideas, the energy..it's nice to see you again".

 

I became Mr Sensible, Mr Dependable, Mr Safe and Mr Routine when the kids came along..Quote, "you'll never change. You'll never take chances, or risks, you'll stick with that job that's destroying you, you've lost your drive, your confidence.."...that was one of our last exchanges as a couple. Sigh. No, I've never taken chances, or risks..now I have the kids, that's 10x. That's who I AM. I have to have a backup plan, a safety net, a fallback. Eagles may soar, but weasels never meet jet engines.

 

I stuck the job as it was money coming in, paying the mortgage. All very fair comments, mind. Now, the worst has happened..the pressure removed to a large degree. The brakes are well and truly off.. I'm doing new stuff, trying new things, making changes, having fun, and just kicking back and enjoying my time now..and yes, the kids no longer have to worry about "Daddy Time Vs Sensible house time"..Daddy Time is by nature less regulated, and I let them do things a little differently..the routine is there, but not so rigid..they dictate what they do, I facilitate it. We talk, we play, we walk, cycle, cuddle, and we enjoy every minute. No more worrying about what anyone else says..My kids, my choices.

 

There's a whole brave new world out there...it's just a killer that to find this new lease on things, there had to be such a huge loss..but maybe it's better for all. At least, for the adults.

 

Time rolls on, you have to roll with it..and I'm trying..