Gatt Posted November 11, 2007 Posted November 11, 2007 >> A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked >> robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the stomach. Luckily >> the babies were OK. The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in because >> it >> was too risky to operate. She gave birth to two healthy daughters and a >> healthy son. >> >> >> >> All was fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walked into the room in >> tears. "What's wrong?" asked the mother. "I was taking a tinkle and this >> bullet came out," replied the daughter. The mother told her it was okay >> and >> explained what happened 16 years ago. About a week later the second >> daughter >> walked into the room in tears. "Mom, I was taking a tinkle and this >> bullet >> came out." Again the mother told her not to worry and explained what >> happened 16 years ago. >> >> >> A week later her son walked into the room in tears. "It's okay" said the >> Mom, "I know what happened. You were taking a tinkle and a bullet came >> out." >> "No," said the boy, "I was having a wank and shot the cat." >> >> >> I KNOW YOU SMILED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1
DevilsAdvocate Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 Just read this one on another forum I visit - Two dwarfs decide to treat themselves to a vacation in Las Vegas. At the hotel bar, they were dazzled by two women, and wind up taking them to their separate rooms. The first dwarf is disappointed, however, as he's unable to reach a certain physical state that would enable him to join with his date. His depression is enhanced by the fact that, from the next room he hears cries of, "?ONE, TWO, THREE...HUH!" all night long. In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go? The first whispered back, "It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn't get an erection." The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing?" he asked. "I couldn't even get on the bed!"
antoeknee Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 A guys wife is very moody so he buys her a colour changing mood ring. He knows she's in a good mood when it turns green and when she's in a bad mood it leaves a red mark on his forehead.
antoeknee Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 How did the gypsy woman know her husbands earrings weren't real gold? Green circles on the inside of her thighs!
antoeknee Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under
Pete10141748 Posted March 6, 2008 Posted March 6, 2008 A guys wife is very moody so he buys her a colour changing mood ring. He knows she's in a good mood when it turns green and when she's in a bad mood it leaves a red mark on his forehead. LOL someone listens to Terry Wogan's radio show in the morning
antoeknee Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 LOL someone listens to Terry Wogan's radio show in the morning Damm my secrets out!
farmerste Posted March 7, 2008 Posted March 7, 2008 excellent jokes guys, i'll use that when i have been sacked because of BSF, i think i'll start sewing my spiderman costume, and making my banner Technicians for justice and hang off a bridge over a railway line etc. and at least then after incarceration, when i visit the old peoples homes, following my new career :- ferrets down the elasticated trousers routine, i'll be able to make my 'act' last a bit longer with those jokes
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