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Posted

...the most random thing you've ever said?

 

Mine - Noodles without soup is noodles with noodles but with soup and noodles with no soup is soup with soup but no noodles is noodles with noodles and soup. Get it? (Try saying that out loud :p)

Posted
...the most random thing you've ever said?

 

Have you ever been so far even as decided to use go want to look more like?

Posted
What...... the...... fudgesickles.

 

Exactly.

 

However, as we all know, the Narwhal bacons at midnight. So that has to be taken into account.

Posted

Not said by me but to me [as a random interruption by a stranger intruding on a private conversation with friends]

 

It's not like that in Derby!

 

Then he walked off.

Posted
Not said by me but to me [as a random interruption by a stranger intruding on a private conversation with friends]

 

 

 

Then he walked off.

 

Lmao! I think i'd literally burst into laughter if that happened to me!

Posted (edited)

On viewing a used car, prior to purchase:

 

Me: Has it ever been farted in?

Vendor: Not aggressively no.

 

(I put another one here but that's actually REALLY funny/NSFW so it's gone.)

Edited by Miscbrah
  • Thanks 2
Posted
On viewing a used car, prior to purchase:

 

Me: Has it ever been farted in?

Vendor: Not aggressively no.

 

(I put another one here but that's actually REALLY funny/NSFW so it's gone.)

 

Why would you even...... i don't under..... how can you possibly..... LOL WHAT THE HELL!?

Posted (edited)

I just don't know. At all. And this was the better of three things I just posted up there.

 

EDIT - and a more intelligent thing to ask would have been "is the head gasket knackered?" as I did infact buy it.

Edited by Miscbrah
Posted

The quantity of senseless, utter rubbish spoken by a person is directly proportional to their proximity to a cat.

 

I own a cat.

  • Thanks 2
Posted
The quantity of senseless, utter rubbish spoken by a person is directly proportional to their proximity to a cat.

 

I own a cat.

 

By that logic, I AM a cat.

  • Thanks 3
Posted

I remember once I was crossing a rather busy road. There was a crossing, with the button and the green man and the beep-beep-beep, but I saw a moment to pass before said beep occured. I was in a rush, so started walking across. There was a woman waiting to cross too, who, decided my passage was unsafe. So what does she do? Follows me, declaring "You're going to get yourself killed!"

 

My reply? "Yeah.. Wouldn't be the first time."

 

Her face was priceless.

Posted
No milk or chocolate for you then! 'Tis poison!

 

I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder milk and chocolate.

Posted
The quantity of senseless, utter rubbish spoken by a person is directly proportional to their proximity to a cat.

 

I own a cat.

 

That is SOOOOOOOOOO true.

 

cat_proximity.png

 

I'm really like that with my cat. Having a normal conversation with the wife on the sofa and the cat strolls in and as he approaches, I phase the wife out and focus on the fluffy kitty. Our eyes lock, he stops dead and stares at me! I stand and go "KITTY!!!!" and the wife watches me run out the room chasing the cat!

 

I wuv my dee dees.

 

...even thinking about my cat is making my IQ drop!

  • Thanks 4
Posted (edited)

I was being bored by a conversation and quite calmly threw into the conversation: "ooh, you smell nice." Said conversationalist wasn't quite sure how to take it....

 

I've also said - Llamas? You're worried about Llamas? Look mate its the bloody penguins you need to keep an eye on!

Edited by Gonk

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