Gatt Posted March 24, 2007 Posted March 24, 2007 1. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? 2. Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? 3. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? 4. Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? 5. Why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal injection? 6. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? 7. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a gun at him? 8. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? 9. Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? 10. What is the speed of darkness? 11. Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics? 12. If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it? 13. If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? 14. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? 15. If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here? 16. Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer? 17. If someone with a split personality threates to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation? 18. Can you cry under water? 19. What level of importance must a person have, before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? 20. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? 21. Why does a round pizza come in a square box? 22. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases? 23. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up, like, every two hours? 24. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? 25. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
ITWombat Posted March 24, 2007 Posted March 24, 2007 A few answers: 2. The origins of evil has taxed the greatest minds throughout the course of history. 4. It does when it's on the outside of the bottle. 10. Same as the speed of light. 15. Teaching and learning. 18. Yes. 25 Less likely to get arrested.
Andrew_C Posted March 24, 2007 Posted March 24, 2007 1. Might actually help as you make a better contact (more surface area) and reduce the resistance 2. Look up B*stards in a dictionary 10. You need to read more Terry Pratchet 13. Ask the monkeys 14. Have you never been to Portsmouth? 19. Royalty? Or is that something else?
unixman Posted March 24, 2007 Posted March 24, 2007 7. Because the Superman we see on the screen is only an actor. 21. Square boxes are easier to pack. Do crabs think we walk sideways? What does cheese say when it has its photo taken? Is the Hokey-Cokey really what its all about? If somebody vanishes without a trace, how do you know they are missing? Why is the wife of a king a queen, but the husband of a queen a prince? And now for two that have verifiable answers... How many Three Stooges where there? What is the Loan Rangers mask made from?
GrumbleDook Posted March 24, 2007 Posted March 24, 2007 19. It is murder instigated at the behest of someone else. eg .. I get sick and tired of Bisley98 but get Russdev to kill her ... I have her assissinated but Russdev is guilty of murder.
russdev Posted March 24, 2007 Posted March 24, 2007 Has anyone heard from Bisley98 recently !!!! Russ
tom_newton Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 3 - because paint being wet is something we can easily check. It is human nature to query things we understand, and not those we don't, or don't believe we understand. See also: shed painting.
Midget Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 8. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? To stop them from bumping their head, getting knocked out and missing their target or hitting another plane
Elky Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 14. Have you never been to Portsmouth? Oi - whats wrong with Portsmouth?! Haha
CyberNerd Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 13. Assuming twice as cold = half the temperature then the answer is -139.8 degrees centigrade because zero centigrade is +273 kelvin. If the outside temperature is zero kelvin then things couldn't get any colder. /geek
Halfmad Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 26. Why does the first sentence that everyone utters to me on the phone these days start with "I know your busy.. but"
Midget Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 26. Why does the first sentence that everyone utters to me on the phone these days start with "I know your busy.. but" because they are insinuating that you aren't actually busy.
Andrew_C Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 Oi - what's wrong with Portsmouth?! Haha I was born there, so I know what I'm talking about! It does have one redeeming feature; all the major road junctions have big signs with "OUT OF CITY" in large, friendly letters...
gwendes Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 14. Have you never been to Portsmouth? Oi - whats wrong with Portsmouth?! Haha LOL - There are some nice people in Portsmouth This thread is funny - in 'normal' people forums people just accept the stupid American 'questions' and say how correct they are. In a tech forum each is scrutenized... it's beautiful to watch! On the point about Pizza boxes it is so they are easy to make flat - otherwise they would take up a lot of space in transit...
gwendes Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 Oi - what's wrong with Portsmouth?! Haha I was born there, so I know what I'm talking about! It does have one redeeming feature; all the major road junctions have big signs with "OUT OF CITY" in large, friendly letters... You are now in Winchester though... I'm not going to sit here and defend Portsmouth because you lot will tear me to pieces... You've got to live here to understand? I AM NOT A CHAV.
Elky Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 I live in Portsmouth and wouldn't have it any other way! Well, unless I was living in a better country than this one!
gwendes Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 That's quite a journey - you go from Portsmouth to Pulborough every day?
ConTheITGuy Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 On the point about Pizza boxes it is so they are easy to make flat - otherwise they would take up a lot of space in transit... I remember watching a Dr Who episode a loooong time ago, which featured a TimeLord reading from a sheet of paper... which was round. I had to laugh - they've mastered time travel, but don't realise square things are easier to pack, file, etc.. Andy
openhgs Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 How many Three Stooges where there? What is the Loan Rangers mask made from? There were 7 Three Stooges - Moe, Shemp, Larry, Curly, Joe, Curly-Joe and Emil, although Emil didn't appear in any films as a Stooge. He was regular actor in the series and films. The Loan Rangers mask is probably made of money The Lone Rangers mask was made from his dead brothers vest (waitcoat). Why do ballerinas dance on their toes? Wouldn't it be easier just to hire taller dancers?
gwendes Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 We used to race making boxes when I worked for Dominos - the long evening would fly by... I don't know how you could make them round - I would cost a lot... The other 'questions' could be picked apart one by one - the twice as cold tomorrow one hurts my brain though..
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