Some software you may be interested in?

[alexknight]

Dear Technical Support

 

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowing down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

 

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs; it simply crashes the system. I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?

 

Signed: Desperate

 

Dear Desperate

 

First keep in mind Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Try entering the command: -

C:/I-THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. Remember though, overuse of the above applications can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

 

WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly. CAUTION: Whatever you do not install Mother in Law. This is not a supported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

 

In summary Husband 1.0 is a great program but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory or performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

 

Good Luck.

 

Signed: Technical Support

[Geoff]

God this is old. I first read this on a BBS on the JOKES Fidonet Echo in about 1991!

[GrumbleDook]

Wasn't that in the days of internet by carrier pigeon? ;-) not that I am saying you are getting on ... ;-)

[tom_newton]

@Geoff: You were on Fido? Me too... used to point off FrostFree BBS in Slaithwaite. Those were the days

[Geoff]

Wasn't that in the days of internet by carrier pigeon?

 

Nearly, Zone Mail Hour! When for one hour a day, all the BBS's in a region phoned each other up and transferred mail and files.

 

For example, if I sent a netmail to someone in the USA from my BBS point.

 

me -> Local BBS -> Fylde Hub -> NW Region Hub -> UK National Hub -> Zone 2 Hub -> Zone 1 Hub -> State Hub -> County Hub -> Local BBS -> American Guy.

 

In theory, each of those steps could be a 24hr delay. However in reality most higher level hubs transfered mail on an hourly polling schedule. In later years they tunnelled over the internet and polled every 5mins or so.

 

not that I am saying you are getting on

 

I'm 26. That means I setup a BBS, squish, Blinkp and a front end mailer at the age of 10. You think Linux is hard? Try doing that!

 

You were on Fido? Me too... used to point off FrostFree BBS in Slaithwaite. Those were the days

 

I ran the fylde hub. I think the following addresses are correct. They are no longer active of course.

 

2:25/6000

 

The BBS I ran actually had it's own fido address of course. 2:25/600. I also had my own point address. 2:25/600.1.

 

I ended up running a 20 line telnet BBS up until around 2000.

[tom_newton]

Bloody hell. I'm 2 years older than you Geoff, unfortunately I could never swing a second phone line to run my own BBS although I played with BBS s/w (zeus & some others) and used to be well into ANSI artistry

 

Most echos I participated in were amiga related or frostfree related...

[Geoff]

I started off with RBBS (written in QuickBasic!), then moved to Telegard!. I finally setttled on using BBBS (later moved to the linux version for the telnet support).

 

http://www.bbbs.net/

 

I think Bmailer was my front end mailer. IRexx for File Echos and fastecho for echomail. Squish for netmail of course. I had a full Echo and File Echo feed (I had to being an NC). Also had various InterBBS door games running. Arrowbridge II, Falcons Eye, etc.

 

Ah good times.