Oldies But Goodies

[SpuffMonkey]

A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduces altitude and

spots a bloke below. He descends a bit more and shouts, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

 

The man below replies, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

 

"You must be in IT," says the balloonist.

 

"I am," replies the chap, "How did you know?"

 

"Well," answers the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically

correct, but I don't understand a word of it and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."

 

The bloke below responds, "You must be in Management."

 

"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

 

"Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're

going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air.

You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my f**king fault."

[webman]

Hahahaha. So true to life

 

I like that one

[mac_shinobi]

Little Johnny goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

 

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

 

So, little Johnny goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.

 

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.

 

He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room.

 

Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

 

The next morning, little Johnny says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now."

 

The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

 

Little Johnny replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep sh!t."