EULA madness

[AngryTechnician]

I know "no-one ever reads the EULA", but a few years ago I had cause to read the Virgin Digital EULA. Virgin Digital was the now-defunct subscription music streaming service that Virgin launched in 2006, then spectacularly screwed up less than a year later with version 2, which never worked properly and eventually drove the Virgin Digital arm out of business through lost custom.

 

But I digress; the EULA for this service had quite clearly been modified by some immature muppet on the staff after it had come back from the lawyers. In many ways it could be amusing - though oddly not so when you're an extremely annoyed customer who is being ripped off, as I was at the time of my first reading. Anyway, since I was reminded of it today, I went and hunted down a copy for your enjoyment. I've linked to a copy since it was too long to post directly.

 

Virgin Digital EULA

 

The moron additions are in red, with the extra-moronic (and slightly inappropriate) parts in bold. Can anyone beat this, I wonder?

Edited April 10, 2010 by AngryTechnician

[clareq]

I'm getting "invalid attachment"

[jedmondson]

I'm getting "invalid attachment"

same here.

[john]

Seems fine for me, its a PDF attachment

[Soulfish]

Invalid attachment for me as well

[AngryTechnician]

Edited to point to a copy on my blog instead. That should work better.

[dhicks]

Can anyone beat this, I wonder?

 

Not moronic or immature, but Alchemy MindWorks's EULA can be a tad startling the first time you read it:

 

"Should you fail to register any of the evaluation software available through our web pages and continue to use it, be advised that a leather-winged demon of the night will tear itself, shrieking blood and fury, from the endless caverns of the nether world, hurl itself into the darkness with a thirst for blood on its slavering fangs and search the very threads of time for the throbbing of your heartbeat. Just thought you'd want to know that."

 

--

David Hicks

[srochford]

I think you may have picked out some bits that were in the original document - Virgin do try to make their stuff lighter than normal - but I'm sure the bold bits were not approved by a lawyer :-)

 

The stuff about nuclear use is interesting - it is quite common in software EULAs and I've been told that we have negotiated special agreements with some companies to leave out that bit because we do have a nuclear reactor to play with!

[mossj]

To me he/she sounds like someone that has worked very hard on a product that despite his/her best efforts has failed...

 

They may have also been subjectted to sitting on the helpdesk judging by

 

It also isn’t our problem if you get totally p*ss-drunk and go on a shopping rampage purchasing a complete collection of the

worst songs ever recorded. Don’t come crying to us in the morning while you are nursing your

hangover and try to erase the last twelve hours of your life.

[dhicks]

we do have a nuclear reactor to play with!

 

Wait, what?

 

--

David Hicks

[AngryTechnician]

IIRC, Steve works for Imperial College London, which has a research reactor in their Centre for Nuclear Engineering. I think it's the only civilian research reactor in the UK.

[srochford]

Wait, what?

 

Looks like some people read the rubbish I post :-) as @angrytechnician says, I work at Imperial although I don't actually get to play with nuclear stuff (it's out at Silwood Park)