[joke] The Primary School Newsletter

[elsiegee40]

A little humour to brighten your day

Do other schools send out weekly newsletters like this? I've had to hire a PA for my daughter.

 

Dear Parents,

A reminder that on Monday the children are asked to wear coloured contact lenses to raise awareness of the critically endangered Guatemalan colour blind tree gecko. Please bring a £1 donation.

 

Tuesday is the start of Medieval Ruins Awareness month. Please bring in a 1:8 scale model of your child's favourite 11th century Roman fortress. Don't forget your £1 donation to support our Historical Reenactment society.

 

On Wednesday Mr Bachelor, head of PHSE, will be trying to eat as many cup-a-soups as he can in an hour to raise money to repair the roof of the sports hall, which was fire damaged during last year's Hog Roast for the Hard of Hearing. Please bring in a £1 donation.

 

The children have been busy making Christmas pictures out of felt and glitter. These half finished abominations can be printed onto a tea towel (£17) or mouse mat (£13). They would make wonderful gifts for any relatives who thought it would be a good idea to buy your child a slime making kit as a present last year.

 

If we have any budding Paul Hollywoods or Prue Leiths amongst the parents, it would be a great help if you could make 50-100 gluten free, nut free, diabetic friendly mince pies for the upcoming Christmas Fair. If not, you can still help out by donating any unwanted tickets for an all-inclusive family holiday for four, or a nearly new Ford Fiesta for the tombola.

 

We are aware of the stresses and strains of modern family life. That's why we have started mindfulness and meditation sessions for parents starting this Friday at 5-30am in the school hall. Due to an administrative oversight, you will share the hall with the Year 6 British Bulldog taster session. Please bring a helmet and shinpads, as well as your £1 donation.

 

Have a great week!

 

Facebook Source

[Dos_Box]

It reminds me of 'wear anything day' letters which then tell you, at great length, what they cannot wear.

I think trading standards should get involved.

[admars]

It reminds me of 'wear anything day' letters which then tell you, at great length, what they cannot wear.

yeh, my kid have got a halloween disco to go to, but the letter says, "costumes must not be too scary" - it's a primary school

[DanTheLacky]

Went to a Halloween party last weekenf, a friend of mines child is scared of witches, but also turned up dressed As a witch....