Murphys Laws of Combat

[Geoff]

1. If the enemy is in range, so are you.

 

2. Incoming fire has the right of way.

 

3. Don't look conspicuous --- it draws fire.

 

4. There is always a way.

 

5. The easy way is always mined.

 

6. Try to look unimportant --- they may be low on ammo.

 

7. Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are

dangerous.

 

8. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:

a. When you're ready for them.

b. When you're not ready for them.

 

9. Teamwork is essential --- it gives them someone else to shoot at.

 

10. If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you.

 

11. The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.

 

12. A ``sucking chest wound'' is nature's way of telling you to slow down.

 

13. If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.

 

14. Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.

 

15. Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.

 

16. Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able to get out.

 

17. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

 

18. If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in a combat zone.

 

19. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.

 

20. Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.

 

21. If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

 

22. The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will fall short

 

23. Five-second fuses always burn three seconds.

 

24. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.

 

25. A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.

 

26. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection

 

27. No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.

 

28. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

 

29. Things that must be shipped together as a set, aren't.

 

30. Things that must work together, can't be carried to the field that way.

 

31. The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.

 

32. If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed towards you..

 

33. Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.

 

34 . When in doubt, empty your magazine

 

35. The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.

 

36. Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

 

37. When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible.

 

38. A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.

 

39. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.

 

40. If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap

[TechMonkey]

Always a classic.

 

Not sure if it has been put up before but Skippys List had me in stiches!