Windows 8.1 Update "Something Went Wrong" Error

[CAM]

This had me stumped, re-installing like crazy, resetting store licences, messing about with WSRESET.EXE and other assorted stuff. Every time I tried to update Windows 8 fresh install to Windows 8.1 it came up "Something went wrong, try again." That was it, no error code, no useful description, nothing. They might was well have plastered bull and something brown across the screen because that was about as useful as the error message was in the first place.

 

Six hours later I discover that I have an expired credit card on file on my Microsoft Account. Updating that allowed the Windows 8.1 update to download. And yes, it does this to local accounts too.

 

(To top it off, Windows Update just came up wanting a restart with Restart Now selected by default just as I am about to press Enter. Oh no you don't...)