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Our Advertisers Thread, STOCKTOBER2! A month of prizes and sweeties from VeryPC in Purchasing and Trading; Originally Posted by StevieM OK here goes. Joe Faze is the owner of a seafood restaurant. In the restaurant is ...
  1. #1381

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    Quote Originally Posted by StevieM View Post
    OK here goes.

    Joe Faze is the owner of a seafood restaurant. In the restaurant is a large fish tank from which diners can choose what they would like served up on their plate. In the large fish tank is an old squid, light green in colour with a little moustache. The squid has been in the tank for years and all the staff have become quite attached to him - they even named him Colin.

    One day, a man enters the restaurant and, much to Joe's horror, chooses Colin as his main course. Joe tries his best to dissuade the man, but he insists on the old squid.
    Trembling, Joe puts the net into the tank and captures Colin. With tears in his eyes, he carries the squid through to the kitchen. With his knife poised to prepare the squid for the dinner table, suddenly Joe breaks down. "I just can't do it. Not to Colin."
    Sobbing his heart out, he calls over Hans, his chief washer-upper. "You'll have to do it," Joe tells Hans.

    "What? Kill Colin?" asks Hans, "I... I... I..."
    Hans, too, bursts into floods of tears and the two men return Colin to the fish tank.

    This only goes to show that (are you ready for it?)

    "Hans that do dishes can be soft as Joe Faze with mild green hairy-lipped squid."
    What a payoff.

    Al

  2. Thanks to VeryPC from:

    StevieM (16th October 2013)

  3. #1382

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    Quote Originally Posted by nephilim View Post
    Hold up...why does Gonk get a round of applause?
    I guess Andy and Steve must have really liked his STOCKTOBER2! theme tune:

    Reminder:



    Thanks again @Gonk

    Al

  4. #1383

    nephilim's Avatar
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    Al...~I have a joke which reads like a novel, for an EPIC payoff...but it beats the limit for characters on here...I could put up the notepad file.

  5. #1384
    Gonk's Avatar
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    Woo!!!!! Can I have box number 10 please?

  6. Thanks to Gonk from:

    VeryPC (16th October 2013)

  7. #1385
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    Quote Originally Posted by VeryPC View Post
    I guess Andy and Steve must have really liked his STOCKTOBER2! theme tune:

    Reminder:



    Thanks again @Gonk

    Al
    Why do I get the feeling that next year at BETT everyone will be pointing at me and whispering in hushed tones about my lack of singing ability...

  8. #1386

    sparkeh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gonk View Post
    Why do I get the feeling that next year at BETT everyone will be pointing at me and whispering in hushed tones about my lack of singing ability...
    They will probably be too busy asking "Wait, is that Miles Jupp?"

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    My ears are bigger.....

  10. #1388

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    Quote Originally Posted by nephilim View Post
    Al...~I have a joke which reads like a novel, for an EPIC payoff...but it beats the limit for characters on here...I could put up the notepad file.
    DO IT.

    [I searched through the thread in vain for an image that had been posted earlier to accompany this phrase, but despite my best efforts I couldn't find it. I think it was @sparkeh or @plexer who posted it, but I could be wrong]

    EDIT: @sparkeh found it for me:

    Quote Originally Posted by sparkeh View Post
    Looking for this?
    Last edited by VeryPC; 16th October 2013 at 02:34 PM.

  11. #1389

    VeryPC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gonk View Post
    Woo!!!!! Can I have box number 10 please?
    Sure thing. Prize reveal coming up a bit later.

    Al

  12. #1390

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    Quote Originally Posted by VeryPC View Post
    DO IT.

    [I searched through the thread in vain for an image that had been posted earlier to accompany this phrase, but despite my best efforts I couldn't find it. I think it was @sparkeh or @plexer who posted it, but I could be wrong]
    All I could find was this:



    Way back on page 43 [or there abouts.]

  13. Thanks to X-13 from:

    VeryPC (16th October 2013)

  14. #1391

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    Quote Originally Posted by X-13 View Post
    All I could find was this:



    Way back on page 43 [or there abouts.]
    Thanks for looking, but not that one. It was jpeg of Ben Stiller in 70's hairdo and facial hair mode with the words DO IT! in those white with black outline characters that get used so much. Had a right search - couldn't find it.

    Al

  15. #1392

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    Quote Originally Posted by VeryPC View Post
    Thanks for looking, but not that one. It was jpeg of Ben Stiller in 70's hairdo and facial hair mode with the words DO IT! in those white with black outline characters that get used so much. Had a right search - couldn't find it.

    Al
    Looking for this?

  16. Thanks to sparkeh from:

    VeryPC (16th October 2013)

  17. #1393

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    Quote Originally Posted by sparkeh View Post
    Looking for this?
    Yeah that's it. My description was a bit off, but obviously near enough to identify.

    Cheers.

    Al

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    Quote Originally Posted by VeryPC View Post
    My description was a bit off, but obviously near enough to identify.
    I knew exactly what you were on about when you said it.

  19. #1395

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    One long joke
    Attached Files Attached Files

  20. Thanks to nephilim from:

    VeryPC_Colin_M (16th October 2013)



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