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Other Stuff Thread, Bit of fun - I need an excuse for Monday morning in Fun Stuff; Those of you who work during school holidays know that they're often the busiest times of the year, and so ...
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    beeswax's Avatar
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    Bit of fun - I need an excuse for Monday morning

    Those of you who work during school holidays know that they're often the busiest times of the year, and so it came to pass that this past February half term week was one of the busiest I've ever had to handle. In short, we had joiners, electricians, cablers, IWB installers, the chap who maintains our a/c dropped in unannounced on Thursday, while I re-imaged all the IT suites, and for good measure we had staff and pupils in wanting to use computers. We were told that everyone would be finished by end of day Thursday. As it happened it was 1440 hrs on Friday before the last man left and we could get on with moving stuff back into place. Despite being contracted to work until 1530 I stayed until about 1640, wiping down surfaces, moving computers, monitors etc. I've got a stinking cold and I'm not going in today to do overtime for which I won't get paid, or be able to take time off in lieu.
    Here's the rub, when I get back in on Monday I'm going to have to face some angry staff asking why their rooms look like a bomb's just hit them. And as I was lying in bed coughing and spluttering this morning I thought,
    "Well, the chaps (and chapesses) could help me come up with a really decent excuse!" I'm looking for something original, and hopefully, funny.
    Excuses along the lines of,
    "The dog ate my homework." are not acceptable.
    An Edugeek cup or T-shirt for the winner
    beeswax

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    mark's Avatar
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    Re: I need an excuse for Monday morning

    Can't you contact the Head and either arrange for other staff to come in and do the work, or for your staff [assuming there's more than just you] to actually get paid for the OT.

    I'd phone in as ealy as possible anyway and warn them of the problem - then at least you'll be doing your best.

    "I can't come to work today because I've got really bad diahorrea and we've run out of toilet paper."

    "I need the afternoon off because my one armed brother is flying in and he has two suitcases."

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    beeswax's Avatar
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    Re: I need an excuse for Monday morning

    although the situation is as stated, the excuse is only meant to be light hearted. I only wanted to see what the members could come up with.
    beeswax

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    Re: Bit of fun - I need an excuse for Monday morning

    "We have had a burglary ... I managed to scare them off and the only thing that was taken was my own personal laptop bag and contents that had been given to me by some friends who have now left to go back over to America and I don't have the receipts for the top of the range MacBookPro and the complete set of Pro software that was with it ... and the 500GB external drive ... and the new Sony erricson P990 ... and £1000 in cash which was for work I had done for them."

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    Re: Bit of fun - I need an excuse for Monday morning

    Ring the headmaster and tell him your locked in a hostage situation in room 9 at Moorside High School. . . .

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    Re: Bit of fun - I need an excuse for Monday morning

    Well was going to go in on a Saturday but onway to work aliens came abducted me and wanted proof of intelligent life I was going to send them to one of our students but then realised that they needed intelligent life so at that point they pointed an object at me they looked awfully like a laser gun (but take into account that I have never seen aliens before it could have been an alien microwave for all I know).

    Anyway not wanting to risk it I decided I better go with them (and they said I would never amount to anything proof of intelligent life is pretty good going in my book).

    So off we went and arrived at there homeland needless to say it was very nice and if you have ever seen startrek then the female aliens haven’t got a take on real thing but I stayed faithful to my partner/wife (delete as required). I then met the king who was very angry he said there had been mix up he wanted pizza not proof on intelligent life on earth but as I was here I would make good topping for a pizza. Well at this point i have got to say I was bit worried (but luckily lying around was one of those laser guns and point at them and said “stand back or I will fire” then there was a roar of laughter from king (it turns out it was a microwave) anyway apparently king hadn’t laughed in such a long time and let me off

    But by time we got back to earth it was 6 am Monday morning and so didn’t have time to go and clear up so I am sorry but bar any alien abductions I will clear up today


    Russ

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    Re: Bit of fun - I need an excuse for Monday morning

    Quote Originally Posted by marco84
    Ring the headmaster and tell him your locked in a hostage situation in room 9 at Moorside High School. . . .
    I think I'd have topped myself first. lol
    beeswax

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    Re: Bit of fun - I need an excuse for Monday morning

    Hmm... How about "did you know that one of the more unusual aspects of having a Time Lord as a network manager (substitute job title as appropriate) is that when Time Lords have a cold they are unable to go back in time? As a result, I have been unable to make up the time lost by all the other mere mortals who failed to do their jobs on time"

    Alternatively try telling them they don't pay you enough to care.....that's usually my line!

    Brian.

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    john's Avatar
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    Re: Bit of fun - I need an excuse for Monday morning

    I would just email the Head and say, look they didnt leave until 3pm on Friday, and I had 1 hr, I am full of flu, like death warmed up etc so some assistance would have been good etc....

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    Re: Bit of fun - I need an excuse for Monday morning

    Dont say anything, just walk in like nothing has happened

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    Re: Bit of fun - I need an excuse for Monday morning

    well it was like this.

    Unbeknown to me, my assistant had a bottle of champagne hidden behind the filing cabinet and deciding we needed to celebrate a successful operation popped it with a loud bang - just as I switched the main power back on. I thought a circuit had blown and dived under the desk to see, but banged my head and spent the next 30 mins unconscious. When I came round, my assistant was drunk and I didn't know who I was or where I was. I staggered out and wandered aimlessly around the streets until I was picked up for vagrancy and spent the night in a Police cell. Fortunately the beatings caused my memory to return and so here I am, Monday morning bright and breezy.

  12. #12

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    Re: Bit of fun - I need an excuse for Monday morning

    Neat!

    /writes that one down

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    Re: Bit of fun - I need an excuse for Monday morning

    I was hoping to do the judging first thing tomorrow to leave as long as possible for comments, but it's taking me at least an hour to feel human this weekend, so here's the judgement -

    Though Marco84’s comments made me laugh out loud, they mean nothing to those of you who haven’t witnessed the horrors of room 9. As well as being the Bermuda Triangle of mice, there were times when you could enter there first thing in the morning, printer trouble, for example, and not see daylight again until the end of the day. I would have gladly sent a 1000 blank pages to the colour laser printer, opened a panel and fed in the end of my tie, knowing that by page 63 I would have been all over (pages 7 to 63).
    Grumbledook, I feel that I can only get away with something like that the once.
    Russ, are you on medication? lol
    E1uSiV3, there’s a fiendish simplicity to your reasoning.
    broc was going to get the accolade until...
    pcprofessor, my colleagues don’t know me that well yet, but the, “When I came round..” bit, and the, “I staggered out and wandered aimlessly around the streets until I was picked up for vagrancy and spent the night in a police cell.” certainly had my wife nodding in agreement.
    So if you pm me for what you want, mug or T-shirt (stating which size, and you can be honest here, you’re among friends), with your school, college or home address, I’ll get it sorted as soon as possible.
    Thanks for brightening up a dreary weekend folks, competition over.
    Beeswax.

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    Re: Bit of fun - I need an excuse for Monday morning

    I should have stayed in bed.
    beeswax

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    Re: Bit of fun - I need an excuse for Monday morning

    lol

    russ

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