NERD JOKES: How many do you understand?

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• 26th January 2009, 11:29 AM
mattx
NERD JOKES: How many do you understand?
NERD JOKES
How many do you understand?

* F(x)= sin(x) walks into a restaurant and
orders some soup. The waiter replies, "Sorry
but we don't cater for functions here."

* I have a complex relationship with my
girlfriend. I'm Real, and she's Imaginary...

* What's got feathers and goes "Pieces of
seven, pieces of seven?" A parroty error.

* An infinite number of mathematicians go into
a bar. One asks for a pint of beer, the next
of a pint, and the fourth asks for an eighth of
a pint. The barman pours two pints and says
"Just sort it out among yourselves".

* Two kittens are on a roof but both of the are
sliding down. which one falls off first? The
one with the greatest mew.

* Why do Java programmers need glasses? Because
they can't C sharp.

* Why do programmers get Halloween and
Christmas confused? Because Oct 31 = Dec 25.

* Two atoms are shooting the :censored: one day
ATOM 1: Mate, I think I've lost an electron.
ATOM 2: Are you sure?
ATOM 1: Yep, I'm positive.

* What is the contour interval around western
Europe? Zero because all the Poles are in
eastern Europe.

* Some people think the glass is half empty.
Some people think the glass is half full.
Database admins think the glass is twice the
size it needs to be.

* Your mother is so fat she sat on a Binary
Tree and turned it into a linked list in real
time.

* Two spiral galaxies walk into a pub. The
landlord says "I can serve *you*..." (points at
the first), "but not *you*..." (points at the
second). "Why not?" - "Because you're barred."

Scoring! If you understand X jokes then you =

x=0: Our mum
x=4..6: Carol Vorderman
x=7..9: John Tickle
x=10..12: Steve Wozniak
• 26th January 2009, 11:42 AM
vikpaw
:lol:
nearly all so i must be a super nerd, but i'm not admitting which one i didn't get!
• 26th January 2009, 11:50 AM
DrPerceptron
I didn't get the Galaxy one, the cat one and the Halloween/Christmas one...
• 26th January 2009, 11:51 AM
powdarrmonkey
I'm embarassed to admit that I get all but one :o

I've seen some before, of course... Dec25/Oct31 always amuses me :D
• 26th January 2009, 11:51 AM
sparkeh
Is it embarrassing to admit to all? :o
• 26th January 2009, 11:54 AM
gibbo_ap
i got most of them...

DR. SEUSS EXPLAINS COMPUTERS

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
and your data is corrupted 'cause the index does not flash,

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'cause as sure as I'm a poet, the suckers gonna hang.

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disc,
and the micro code instructions cause unnecessary risk,
then you have to flash your memory, and you'll want to RAM your ROM...

LOVE IT LOL
• 26th January 2009, 11:59 AM
tmcd35
Mattx, you have too much time on your hands!!!

I all but halloween/christmas (although I can guess) and two kittens. I liked the database one...Very true! :)
• 26th January 2009, 12:00 PM
OutToLunch
Trying to work out the parroty error, but I actually laughed out loud at sat on the binary tree :(
• 26th January 2009, 12:01 PM
mattx
Quote:

Originally Posted by gibbo_ap
i got most of them...

DR. SEUSS EXPLAINS COMPUTERS

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
and your data is corrupted 'cause the index does not flash,

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'cause as sure as I'm a poet, the suckers gonna hang.

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disc,
and the micro code instructions cause unnecessary risk,
then you have to flash your memory, and you'll want to RAM your ROM...

LOVE IT LOL

Love it.
• 26th January 2009, 12:10 PM
mark
mews? barred? :)
• 26th January 2009, 12:15 PM
powdarrmonkey
Quote:

Originally Posted by OutToLunch
Trying to work out the parroty error, but I actually laughed out loud at sat on the binary tree :(

It's a play on 'parity' error, where the eight bit in a serial signal is used for detecting errors (the parity bit). A parity error is when there is a data error, so the parity bit doesn't match up.
• 26th January 2009, 12:17 PM
salan
Great!
All but the last one, so nerd city here I come! :D
• 26th January 2009, 12:21 PM
SYNACK
I am easily in the top bracket, only missed one - not telling which :)
• 26th January 2009, 12:22 PM
tmcd35
Quote:

Originally Posted by salan
Great!
All but the last one, so nerd city here I come! :D

[ame=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barred_spiral_galaxy]Barred spiral galaxy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia[/ame]
• 26th January 2009, 01:36 PM
Talorin
All but one:nerd:
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