Jesus in a bar....
Jesus goes into a bar and sits at a table in the corner.
An Australian, an Irishman and a Liverpudlian are in the bar. They're staring at the man sitting by himself, at a table in the corner. He's so familiar, and not recognising him is driving them mad.
They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs: 'My God,it's Jesus!'
Sure enough, it is Jesus nursing a pint. Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a pint of bitter.
Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints slowly, one after another. After he's finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio.
He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it thanking him for the Guinness. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement:
'My God, the arthritis I've had for thirty years is gone. It's a miracle!'
Jesus then shakes the hand of the Aussie, thanking him for the lager. As he lets go, the man's eyes widen in shock. 'Strewth mate, the back pain I've had all my life is completely gone! It's a miracle.'
Jesus then approaches the Liverpudlian who knocks over a chair and a table in trying to get away from the Son of God.
'What's wrong?' says Jesus.
The Liverpudlian shouts, 'BuggerOff!, I'm on disability benefit!'