TELL ME THIS ISN'T FUNNY!
Her: I turned it on and I got a. It has a blue.
Right, this will be fun, I think. Since she calls at an odd hour and refers to something that is most likely machinery, I am going to assume that she turned on her laptop. And "It has a blue" could refer to a BSOD. How on Earth did she manage to break a stable, unbreakable system, using only Outlook?
Me: Right. What did you do?
Her: There's a blue. From Jack.
Me: A blue from Jack... What do you see when you look at your computer?
Her: I put the poota on the table and then I...
Me: Hold it. If you look at the screen. What do you see?
Her: I see the E. Jack sent an E. It has a blue.
By now, I'm completely confused. I know what an E is. Apparently, you can't apply "Mail" to e-mail when you're a grandma. And I know Jack is her cousin (or something, don't ask). But why would Jack send something blue.
Me: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Her: There's a blue in the E. It is text that is blue. I mousied on it. Like Ticktick.
By now, I am convinced that whatever's wrong with her can't be described with human language. Let me rephrase: On her poota, she got an E that has a blue. She mousied on it. Like Ticktick. This basically translates to: I got an e-mail with a link in it and clicked on it.
Me: I know the feeling. What then?
Her: It doesn't ticktick anymore. But there's a blue! You can ticktick blue.
Me: Right. Are you getting an error message?
Her: The orange opens. And then it says server not found.
Me: Okay. What does the link say?
Her: What is link?
Me: The blue. What does it say?
Her: Aytch Tee Tee Pee...
Me: Right, skip the part until after the double-you, double-you, double-you dot.
Her: Then there's two points. Wait. They're two points, but on top of each other. And then there's like a line or two.
Me: Nevermind that. Can you forward the mail?
And here's the most astonishing thing of the entire ordeal: Explaining to her how to forward the mail only took a minute. I expected this to last several hours.
I see the link, it's linking to what I later figured out a greek real estate site and then some. The link reads something like "[company.com]/toygxmjt/tcxecgkyovaq/dlkgebsoi/hcgvfak/vnlawycdcqceckl" and my best guess is that it's a spam mail and Jack didn't send it. Because the mail's subject is a date and a time and other than the blue, it has no body. Jack usually writes at least half a line of text, explaining to my grandma what to do with the blue.
Me: First. This is a spam mail. Jack didn't send it. Second. You said you click- tickticked it. What happened then?
Her: The orange said something about Brooklyn. You think Jack is in Brooklyn?
Me: No. Jack didn't send it. Some program imitated Jack and sent you that blue to get you to that site. I don't know why.
Her: But it says Jack sent it. And something about Brooklyn.
Me: Yes. But that's all fake. Just delete the mail.
Her: But I replied to Jack already.
Me: Doesn't matter. Delete the mail. Never open blues like that again. If you're unsure about a blue, call me.
Her: Can I forward what I wrote to Jack?
I don't see how that would help anything, but I say she can.
Me: You know how to delete a mail, yes?
Her: I ticktick the X?
Me: No, you ticktick the "Delete"-button.
So she does that. Three hours later, the phone rings again.
Her: I want to send you the blue. Because I wrote to Jack. It's purple now. And from Brooklyn. Jack is in Brooklyn.
Me: No. Jack is not in Brooklyn. An automated program illegally entered Jack's mailbox and sent you the blue.
Her: There are no robots! They only exist in movies. Fscking rubberheads!
I expect this to be a recurring topic in the days to come.
tl;dr: My grandma is awesome. She has no idea what she's doing, but manages to write the occasional e-mail. Deleting a spam-mail was something that took her three hours. Robots are to blame. My grandma swears.
Does she subcontract? I could find a place for her doing first response on my helpdesk!.
I lol-ed. 'ticktick the blue' is my new favourite phrase. 'The orange opened' - Firefox?
I loved the part where the blue went purple. LOL This is comedy gold.
Also, why does she refer to Robots as 'Rubberheads'?
It would be easier to tell her some scumbag in some south east Asian or eastern European country was sitting in a cramped basement hacking peoples email accounts to send out links to dodgy sites and that she should ticktick on the pootavaccine thingy and run a full scan.
Aww I'm disappointed that this wasn't a real conversation between you and grandma - it is eerily similar to conversations between me and my mother...
Originally Posted by Domino
I was going to plus rep until @Domino revealed it was a re-post
Never knew i had to quote the sources? lol
Originally Posted by Domino
@AMLightfoot When i read it first time.... i was laughing so much, my boss said, just get out and have a breather lol.... I was rofling to badly! xD
There's no real rule for it, it's more common courtesy.
Originally Posted by Sunnyknight
You found something cool and shared it around, but you didn't give credit to the person/people who did it originally. That's just rude. :p
'Twas funny though. We have a few staff here that I could imagine doing that.