Oh someone once said to me
I was leaving that for you to figure out ;)
A Microsoft dev is walking down a walking path on campus when he hears a frog say, “If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful woman. We can get married, and I will be your loving wife forever”. The geek and the frog stare at each other for a bit, and then he picks up the frog and gently places her in his front pocket. The frog sticks her head out and says “aren’t you going to kiss me?”
“No” says the dev, “I work for Microsoft, I don’t have time for a wife – but a talking frog is really cool!”
A group of ten top software engineers is sent to a class for aspiring managers. The teacher walks in and asks this question:
“You work for a software company which develops avionics (software that controls the instruments of an airplane). One day you are taking a business trip. As you get on the plane you see a plaque that says this plane is using a beta of the software your team developed. Who would get off?”
Nine developers raised their hands. The teacher looked at the tenth and asked, “Why would you stay on?”
The tenth said, “if my team wrote the software, the plane would not get off the ground, much less crash.”
How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. It's a hardware problem.
There are two kittens on a sloped roof.
Q: Which one slides off first?
A: The one with the lowest mew.
How can you tell the difference between a Plumber and a Chemist?
Get them to pronounce unionised.