Jokes/Interweb Things Thread, Emile Heskey V Lionel Messi in Fun Stuff; Some Facts about Emile Heskey that you may not know about...and these facts prove he is better than Lionel Messi
16th July 2012, 07:47 PM #1
Emile Heskey V Lionel Messi
Some Facts about Emile Heskey that you may not know about...and these facts prove he is better than Lionel Messi
- Heskey has never missed a penalty, Messi has
- Heskey has 61 caps for England, Messi has 0.
- Heskey has scored 7 goals for England, Messi has 0.
- Heskey has scored 100+ goals in the Premier League, Messi has never scored in it.
- Heskey undoubtedly has a larger**** than Messi.
- Heskey's feet are size 15, Messi's are a tiny size 10.
- Emile's shots go out for throw-ins,Messi's don't.
- Heskey's Mrs is sexier than Messi's Mrs.
- Heskey misses a lot because he doesn't want to upset the goalkeepers feelings, Messi just scores all the time because he's a git.
- Heskey has played in more World Cups than Messi.
- Emile has played for more clubs than Messi, meaning he is more versatile.
- Heskey has been bought for bigger transfers fee than Messi ever has.
- Heskey quite clearly has a better haircut than Messi.
- Messi played shit in the Champions League Semi Final against Chelsea, Heskey didn't.
- Heskey has never had a bad gamein La Liga, Messi has.
- Heskey weighs much more than Messi, making him the better man.
- Heskey can play without Xavi and Iniesta.
- Heskey changes clubs regularly, as he wants to give everyone a chance with his brilliance, Messi just stays at Barcelona.
- Heskey has better strength, heading accuracy and aggression on FIFA 12 (the only attributes that matter).
- Heskey has played more times in the Euro's than Messi.
- Messi has never made a girl orgasm, Heskey does by simply staring into a womens eyes.
- Heskey's middle name is 'William Ivanhoe', which is far better and cooler than Messi's middle name 'Andrés'.
- Heskey has had poor managers such as Alex Mcleish and Steve Bruce, whereas Messi has had Pe Guardiola
- Heskey can play at Centre Back, Messi can't.
Last edited by nephilim; 16th July 2012 at 07:50 PM.
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28th October 2012, 08:57 PM #2
I totally know who both those people are.
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