[Joke] Friday Joke(s)

[Fatmas]

I Was Going To Write A Theatre Piece On Puns....

...but then I realized it would just be a play on words.



What did Little Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common?
They both had Kurds in their way.



An engineer, a physicist and a statistician are in a hotel when a fire starts.
"Pour water on it!" Cries the engineer.
"No, remove the oxygen!" Says the physicist.
The statistician, seeing their disagreement, frantically runs round the hotel starting fires.
"What the hell are you doing?" the other two ask.
"Creating a decent sample size."

[DaveP]

What kind of cheese do you use to hide a small horse?

Mascarpone!

[JJonas]

Did you hear about the new Divorce Barbie?

She comes with all of Kens stuff.

[fs171]

Why are pirates called pirates?


*Pirate voice* Because they arghhh! *Pirate voice*

[korifugi]

To Err is to be human,
to Arr is to be pirate,
to Ooh-Aar is to be farmer.

[teejay]

I've just installed a new Kings of Leon smoke alarm.
Instead of just beeping it goes:
Woooooooooohhhhhhoooooooooo, your house is on fire

[Gatt]

I've just installed a new Kings of Leon smoke alarm.
Instead of just beeping it goes:
Woooooooooohhhhhhoooooooooo, your house is on fire

Lol.. took me a moment to get it though

[teejay]

I've just written a musical, the story is that we are in a financial mess and we give all our money to another country.

It's called 'Greece'.

[tech_guy]

A definition of a farmer - a man outstanding in his field....

[tech_guy]

Why did the blonde die drinking milk?

The cow fell on her....

[LeMarchand]

I've just installed a new Kings of Leon smoke alarm.
Instead of just beeping it goes:
Woooooooooohhhhhhoooooooooo, your house is on fire

Passed that one on to Mme LeMarchand with a bit of customization (changed it to one of my schools). One of her co-workers wanted to know if I was serious - what if it was a bomb scare rather than a fire...

[laserblazer]

MY favourite French film is "AND". I think they called it ET over here.

I know! It was on Mock the Week last night.

[MK-2]

<deleted>
While these joke threads quite easily turn into a cut and paste from Mock the week or Sickipedia, I think some jokes may be best left over there....including this one

[aerospacemango]

Just bought my ex-mother-in-law a pair of crotchless knickers for her birthday, so she can get a better grip on her broomstick

(is this one OK, MK-2?)

(This was just ripped from Twitter, so I can't be accused of nicking off sickipedia/MtW!!)

[MK-2]

(is this one OK, MK-2?)

i was merely saying that i thought this forum might not look too kindly on jokes about domestic violence, perhaps i'm wrong and we can all break out the racist jokes and jokes about having sex with underage kids too