Jokes/Interweb Things Thread, Changes in schools in Fun Stuff; Just got this from my dad, made me chuckle.
SCHOOL -- 195 7 vs. 2011
Johnny and Mark get ...
28th June 2011, 11:20 AM #1
Changes in schools
Just got this from my dad, made me chuckle.
SCHOOL -- 195 7 vs. 2011
Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up mates.
2011 - Police called, arrests Johnny and Mark.. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though John ny started it. Both children go to anger management programmes for 3 months. School board hold meeting to implement bullying prevention programmes
Robbie won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 - Robbie sent to office and given 6 of the best by the Headmaster . Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2011 - Robbie given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADHD Robbie's parents get fortnightly disability payments and School gets extra funding from state because Robbie has a disability.
Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2011 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison.
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark gets glass of water from Headmaster to take aspirin with.
2011 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.
Johnny takes apart leftover fireworks from Guy Fawkes night, puts them in a model aeroplane paint bottle, blows up an ant nest.
1957 - Ants die.
2011- Police & Anti-terrorism Squad called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, Police investigate parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated. Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Johnny falls while running during break and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary . Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2011 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.
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28th June 2011, 11:51 AM #2
Lol!! Scarily accurate.. (even though I wasn't around in 1957!)
Whilst I was at school (1983/84 till 1993) most of what was done in 1957 still happened (obviously not the cane as it was banned as I started Primary) though some of today's elements were creeping in as I left
Basically, when I was in school, you arsed about you got into some serious trouble and never did it again and respected the teacher a little bit better (The flying board dusters, chalk and chairs helped there too!)
Amazing the change in only a few years!
28th June 2011, 12:15 PM #3
spot on, i always remember one PE teacher in a lesson who (for some reason) had a pair of nunchuks hung up on the wall. one kid was messing about (this was a PE theory lesson so in class) and the teacher grabbed the nunchuks, ran over the tables til he was stood above the kid, who had now fallen on the floor in a ball holding a plastic folder over his head. the teacher just said "piss about in my class again i wont be so nice".....funnily enough nobody messed about again. good times. like you say, it happened, you learnt, respected the teacher and went on your way. our special needs area was one tiny area where kids who were feeling a little upset went to, not a third of the school where soft furnishings and video games are required as it eases the mental breakdown of someone!
Originally Posted by Gatt
28th June 2011, 12:20 PM #4
I would replace the [Joke] tag with a [Fact] tag...
28th June 2011, 12:23 PM #5
I do recall a teacher who, if he found you smoking, took you to a room somewhere and made you smoke a 20 pack one after the other or until you were sick..
Thankfully I never smoked a cig in my life, but I do know someone who did, got caught and never touched a cig after...
28th June 2011, 12:28 PM #6
If we smoked in the bushes around the school, we got the cane. If we sat under the staff room window (an out of bounds area) and smoked, the staff would warn us not to leave any litter when we left and then ignore us. Honesty is always the best policy.
28th June 2011, 12:32 PM #7
Yeah whereas now they look at you and say "So? What ya gonna do about it?!" and stay put / blow smoke in your face
Originally Posted by unixman
28th June 2011, 12:51 PM #8
One cocky lad tried that with me, i grab the cig from his mouth and dropped the lit fag butt into his can of energy drink (which they arnt allowed in school either), then took that of him and threw it in the bin, he stood there looking shocked and then a senior management type came and took him to the "conduct room"
Originally Posted by Gatt
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