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Jokes/Interweb Things Thread, User Achievements in Fun Stuff; One about the kids. Invisible ink: On deadline day ask the techs to recover documents from a usb drive even ...
  1. #46

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    One about the kids.
    Invisible ink: On deadline day ask the techs to recover documents from a usb drive even though we both know that you haven't done the work.

  2. #47

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    Some fantastic ones here folks, pure genius

    Here are mine:

    Manual Override: Keep saying "But I need it!" upon being told work cannot be done with 20 minutes notice
    Relentless: After having busy IT staff reluctantly agree to look at your home machine "when they have time", proceed to appear in their office at every break, lunch or free period until they crack or tell you to piss off
    Conscientious: Helpfully backup all your music/video files to the school servers until there is no more space

  3. #48

    Gatt's Avatar
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    Ticket Dodger: Raise more than 5 faults on a single ticket

    Out Of Hours: Call the IT Tech for a password reset or other non-urgent fault after 7PM

    Weekender Bonus: As Out of Hours, but during a [long] weekend

  4. #49


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    Groundhog day: Tell ICT that some equipment has been out of use for "days" to try and get it resolved quicker.

    Grab em while you can: Fit 5 "oh while your here.." requests in when you spot a tech in your department

    The cake is a lie: Promise to bring in cake/sweets/chocs to the techs after fixing your home computer. Then never do.

    Back to the future : Report a fault that you want fixing 2 days ago

    Scrabble master : Make a fault report containing 3 technical sounding terms you have made up / misheard

    Rage against the machine: Physically hit your machine when it runs slow then wonder why it breaks

    Hot potato: Juggle a required task around your department so it never gets done.

  5. #50

    Gatt's Avatar
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    Lord of Capslock - Write an entire document using the Capslock key for single instances of an uppercase letter instead of holding the SHIFT key down..
    Mr/Miss Forgetful - Forget your new password within 10 minutes of changing it..
    Google Intranet - Raise 5 faults stating that Google or the Internet is down after being told the Intranet will be offline for maintenence rather than type the Google URL into the address bar..
    Address Hunt - Feign ignorance as to what the Address Bar is and where it is located
    Wannabe - Claim to know more about IT than the ICT Support team does

  6. #51

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    Three Times A Charm: Get the same virus on your laptop 3 times in one year, whislt claiming to only have used it for school purposes

    HomeWrecker: Drop another teachers personal laptop which was a wedding gift from the mother in law

    Lastminute.com: Get a request for an urgent job that needs to be completed NOW

  7. #52

    Dos_Box's Avatar
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    Fruit Salad: When questioned by IT support staff as to exactly what the Limewire icon on your desktop is doing there, claim it was put there by your son/daughter/partner, and no, you have no idea why your laptop is running so slowly.

  8. #53

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    That's my boy: When a porn DVD is found in your laptop optical drive, blame in on your teenage son.

  9. #54

    Domino's Avatar
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    Maintain Radio Silence: Deny having ever seen an error message

    Dangerous Ground: Refer to a sysadmins area of expertise as 'that computer rubbish' 5 times. and live.

  10. #55
    andy_nic's Avatar
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    If at first you don’t succeed: keep clicking the icon till you have 50 windows open

  11. #56


    AMLightfoot's Avatar
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    Distributed Denial of Service : 'Accidently' unplug the WAP that just happens to be located in your area in order to charge your personal mobile.

    Possession is 9/10's of the law : Refuse to allow ICT to upgrade/reinstall your computer on the grounds that you know how to use it in its current state and don't want it changed.

  12. #57
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    Resistance is futile: Assimilate hardware and software from other departments to add to your own department's equipment.
    Last edited by Gonk; 6th May 2011 at 11:46 AM.

  13. #58

    Dos_Box's Avatar
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    Tech Fender-Bender: To posses various devices from laptops, smartphone and tablets, none of which are willing to communicate with the other.

  14. #59
    Gonk's Avatar
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    Altered Image: mange not to notice pupils shattering TFT Screens in your class five times in a term.

  15. #60
    Mr.Ben's Avatar
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    The Man from Del Monte: Swear that Apple Macs are just better, for everything.

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