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Jokes/Interweb Things Thread, User Achievements in Fun Stuff; Mastermind Ability to forget in 2 minute walk to ICT Office what room you were in, what teacher you have ...
  1. #31

    teejay's Avatar
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    Mastermind Ability to forget in 2 minute walk to ICT Office what room you were in, what teacher you have and what the problem was that you were sent down for

  2. #32

    TechMonkey's Avatar
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    To the Top: Bring biscuits when asking for a favour.
    Unexpected: Give a gift after IT fix something
    24/7: Use a Techs private email or mobile number to request help out of hours
    24/7 to the MAX: DEMAND help via a Techs private email or mobile out of hours
    Shouting in the breeze: Email the helpdesk/Tech during the holiday hoping for a reply
    Overtime? We've heard of it: Comment on a Tech staying late even though it is still during their normal working hours
    Holiday? We've heard of it: Ask how a Techs holiday went when they were in.

  3. #33

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    The Low Blow: Whilst complaining about a problem use the term "this would never of happened before you started"

  4. #34
    dayzd's Avatar
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    Optimus Whine: After describing a problem, following up with as many superfluous reasons as possible why their problem is so urgent that you simply MUST fix it right away, even when you've already begun working to fix said problem, right in front of them.

    Persistinator: Emailing HoDs/line management about minor issue/problem, despite being told the solution five times over in their previously logged Helpdesk calls.

    C.C. King: CC'ing HoDs/line management about a newly/un- reported issue to either A) make it look like support's fault, or B) implicitly excuse themselves for failing to do something on time/properly.

  5. #35
    36Degrees's Avatar
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    Should have gone to Specsavers: Insist everything is plugged in and switched on then watch as the technician presses the ON switch on the power socket

    Confused.com: When told to click on Start, reply with "Where's that?"

    Compare the market: Buy hardware or software without consulting ICT Support and when it doesn't work say you did lots of research on the internet

    Laterooms: Arrive twenty minutes after the lesson started saying that you didn't know there had been a room change despite the fact all the pupils did

    I can’t believe it’s not butter: No matter how many times you’re told YouTube is blocked by the LEA still ask for it “for just this lesson”.

    Relocation, relocation: Move offices at least twice every academic year

    How clean is your house?: Have a huge pile of cups, plates, etc. in your classroom because you can’t be bothered to take them back to the staffroom

    Daily Politics: Get exactly what you want without any experience, ability or talent purely by knowing the right things to say and / or the right people

    Enemy at the door: Despite constant backstabbing and whining about ICT Support ask them for a favour when your personal laptop has a problem

    Mythbusters: Prove that a member of staff’s computer isn’t really slow and that they therefore don’t need a new one

    Open All Hours: Complain to ICT Support at 8:01am that the problem you emailed them about from home at 11pm the previous evening still exists

    DIY SOS: Explain how you or your friend / partner have made a problem much worse by trying to fix it as you “know a bit about computers”

    Would I lie to you?: Create the most unbelievable story for how the computers in your department became damaged despite you having excellent classroom management skills

    Commando: Swear blind that you attended all the relevant CPD sessions despite nobody seeing you

    Total Recall: When given an answer you don't like start your counter argument with "At my last school.."

    Swarm: Take at least 4 friends with you when you go to ask ICT Support for help

    The Devil Wears Prada: Ensure you wear the latest fashion every day to work so that people concentrate on that rather than your abilities

  6. #36

    Dos_Box's Avatar
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    Corporate Liability: Be held responsable by a member of staff for the inherent bugs and flaws in a piece of software or hardware.

  7. #37
    Gonk's Avatar
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    The Engineer's a Spy: When the local authority supplies software & resources that don't work and they send out one of their engineers to tell the teaching staff its ICT Supports fault.

  8. #38

    LosOjos's Avatar
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    Riddle Me This: Respond "it didn't do that when I tried" after a tech has walked to your office and pressed the exact button they told you to over the phone

  9. #39

    korifugi's Avatar
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    The Phantom Menace: Break 10 pieces of shared equipment and replace them in storage without being noticed.

    Bustin' the Seams: Fill your laptop bag with so much paperwork there is no space for the laptop.

    Crushing Despair: Complete Bustin' the seams and still fit your laptop in the bag.

    They said it was a good year: Destroy your laptop with wine 5 times.

  10. #40
    36Degrees's Avatar
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    A Fistful of Dollars: Help a department spend the remainder of their budget at the end of the year before they lose it

    For A Few Dollars More: Convince a department head to buy a reliable make not a “cheap and nasty”

    The Good, The Bad and the Ugly: Prioritise non-urgent or mission critical tasks according to how the requester speaks to you or treats you

  11. #41

    X-13's Avatar
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    Courtesy of our Headteacher: [Slightly edited]

    Jurassic Park: Do everything without using a computer.

  12. #42

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    Ghost in the Machine : Systematically ignore all 'Your password will expire in X days. Do you want to change it now?' messages then complain to ICT that 'Someone changed your password'.

    Deceive, Inviegle and Obfuscate : Disable something deliberately that you know to be a high priority item in order to bring ICT to you under false pretenses so that you can ask a mundane and/or not-work-related IT question that you know would have taken forever to make it through the service desk incident prioritisation protocols.

    Cognitive Dissonance : Send in a help request phrased in such a way that the only person that can understand it is you. "The thingy in Word I use all the time to do stuff with is broken".
    Last edited by AMLightfoot; 5th May 2011 at 03:31 PM. Reason: Additional Material

  13. #43

    TechMonkey's Avatar
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    Clone War: Jokingly suggest the IT Tech creates cardboard cutouts of themself as "things only work when you are around" 10 times.

  14. #44
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    machiavellian : Get new shiny bits of kit by playing politics with the SMT when told no for good reasons by the IT department.

  15. #45
    cromertech's Avatar
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    There is a message for you. Insist on creating a new helpdesk ticket to inform the technician of updates to an existing one 5 times in a week!



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