ATD - At the doctors

BFF - Best friend fell

BTW - Bring the wheelchair

BYOT - Bring your own teeth

FWIW - Forgot where I was

GGPBL - Gotta go, pacemaker battery low

GHA - Got heartburn again

IMHO - Is my hearing aid on

LMDO - Laughing my dentures out

OMMR - On my massage recliner

OMSG - Oh my! sorry, gas

ROFLACGU - Rolling on floor laughing and can't get up

TTYL - Talk to you louder

OMGTWNAFIJPMP - Oh my gosh that was not a fart I just pooped my pants