Jokes/Interweb Things Thread, 'Actual' Hospital Chart Entries. in Fun Stuff; Despite the thread prefix this post isn't a joke [or series of jokes] per se. These are supposed to be ...
5th November 2010, 08:47 AM #1
'Actual' Hospital Chart Entries.
Despite the thread prefix this post isn't a joke [or series of jokes] per se. These are supposed to be entries found on hospital charts.
Real or not these made me laugh.
- The patient refused autopsy.
- The patient has no previous history of suicides.
- Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
- Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
- She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
- Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
- On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.
- The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
- The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
- Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
- Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful.
- Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
- She is numb from her toes down.
- While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
- The skin was moist and dry.
- Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
- Patient was alert and unresponsive.
- Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
- She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
- I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
- Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
- Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
- The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
- Skin: somewhat pall, but present.
- The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
- Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
- Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
- When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room·
- The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
- Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
- She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
- Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
- The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
- By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.
IDG Tech News
5th November 2010, 08:55 AM #2
•Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized
Was this to do with his big top?
5th November 2010, 09:30 AM #3
Originally Posted by laserblazer
I am highly disappointed at your search engine. After reading the above comment I entered "circus related penis jokes" and did not get an adequate enough response to allow me to make a funny in this thread. I did however see some images I wish I hadn't!
5th November 2010, 10:27 AM #4
I was a student nurse for a while, dread to think of the stuff id wrote!
5th November 2010, 11:02 AM #5
My brother is a medical coder. For anyone who doesn't know what they do, they produce a standardised record of everyone's trip to hospital. He has to deal with this all the time.
5th November 2010, 08:40 PM #6
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