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    Fatmas's Avatar
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    Friday Joke

    I started reading this book about anti-gravity, I canít put it down.

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    Groan...

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    -1 Rep

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    Fatmas's Avatar
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    I thought bad jokes made a Friday

    Here is a more appropriate "anti" joke:

    An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.

  5. #5

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    A Farmer - an example of a man outstanding in his field....

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    A dyslexic man walks into a bra...

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    A man and his friend meet at the club house and decide to play a round of golf together. The man has a little dog with him and on the first green, when the man holes out a 20 foot putt, the little dog starts to yip and stands up on its hind legs. The friend is quite amazed at this clever trick and says, "That dog is really talented! What does he do if you miss a putt?" "Somersaults," says the man. "Somersaults?!" says the friend, "That's incredible. How many does he do?" "Hmmm," says the man. "That depends on how hard I kick him in the rear end."

  8. #8
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    2 fish in a tank, one says to the other "how do you drive this thing?"

  9. #9

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    A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any bread?"
    Barman says: "No."
    Duck says: "Got any bread?"
    Barman says: "No."
    Duck says: "Got any bread?"
    Barman says: "No, we have no bread."
    Duck says: "Got any bread?"
    Barman says: "No, we haven't got any f*cking bread."
    Duck says: "Got any bread?"
    Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any f*cking bread, ask me again and I'll nail your f*cking beak to the bar you irritating b*stard of a f*cking bird!"

    Duck says: "Got any nails?"
    Barman says: "No."

    Duck says: "Got any bread?

  10. #10

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    Two Mexicans are lost in the desert. They see a tree in the distance. As they get nearer they see its draped with rasher upon rasher of juicy bacon. “Hey Pepe”, says the first man. “Ees a bacon tree, we’re saved!” Then he runs to the tree but is gunned down in a hail of bullets. “What happened?” shouts Pepe. With his last breath, his friend shouts “Run amigo, ees not a bacon tree. Ees a ham bush.”

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    Fatmas's Avatar
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    How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    It's this really obscure number, you've probably never heard of it...

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    During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:
    MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy
    When asked why such a big password, she said that it had to be at least 8 characters long.

  13. #13

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    Thor, the Norse God of Thunder, has spent the day riding from village to village raping and pillaging.

    As night begins to fall he leaps on his horse and whirls Mjolnir, his mighty war hammer, about his head and cries, "I AM THOR!!!"

    His horse replies, "Well, you thould uthe a thadlle, thilly."

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    Have I told you all the one about the Magic Tractor....?

    It turned into a field

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    What's the difference between a deer lying dead in the road and David Cameron lying dead in the road? There's skid marks in front of the deer.....



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