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Jokes/Interweb Things Thread, Friday Joke in Fun Stuff; What's brown and sticky. A stick....
  1. #16


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    What's brown and sticky.



    A stick.

  2. #17
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    A man wakes up on a desert island, as he slowly comes round and looks at his surroundings he quickly realises that he is alone and that everything looks the same…
    Everywhere he goes and everything he sees on the island has this same red-ish colour, the trees, the sand, the sea all in this same brown sort of colour. And as he explores more even the birds and the insects are sporting this strange hue. As he slowly meanders across the islands shore he notices his feet are now turning this same off red colour and it is spreading! up past his ankles, shins, even his knees and it not stopping. And he cries out in Anguish

    “OH NO, I’M MAROONED!”

  3. #18

    tech_guy's Avatar
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    What's green and sings at the bottom of the garden?

    Elvis Parsley....

  4. #19
    frosty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tech_guy View Post
    What's the difference between a deer lying dead in the road and David Cameron lying dead in the road? There's skid marks in front of the deer.....
    Oh Dear....boom ching!

  5. #20

    webman's Avatar
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    Did I tell you about my easiest job? Working in the returns department at the boomerang factory.

  6. #21

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    A rabbit walks into a bar and orders a pint of lager and some toasties. The barman asks what sort of toasties the rabbit wants. The rabbit decides on one cheese and tomato, one tuna mayo and one bacon and egg toastie. The toasties arrive and the rabbit munches through them quickly.

    About ten minutes later the rabbit turns pale, keels over and dies.

    The barman buries the rabbit in a small grave in the beer garden after the pub has closed. As the barman returns to the bar to clear up the ghost of the rabbit appears and thanks the barman for the lager, toasties and grave. The barman asks the rabbit why it died. "Mixinmetoasties" says the rabbit.

  7. #22
    Disease's Avatar
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    What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the English Channel?

    Bob

    What do you call a man with no arms or legs who swims the English Channel?

    Clever Dick

  8. #23

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    A Chinese man on holiday in France thought he saw another Chinese gentleman in the hotel lobby. But he was Wong.
    Last edited by Dos_Box; 22nd October 2010 at 02:15 PM.

  9. #24
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    what's orange and sounds like a parrot?

    a carrot!

    (btw, are blonde jokes inappropriate or offensive here?)

  10. #25

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    An atom runs into a bar shouting 'I've lost an electron!'
    The barmans says: " Are you sure?"

    "I'm positive!"

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