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Jokes/Interweb Things Thread, Quantitative Easing in Fun Stuff; Pinched from another forum I use..... It's a slow day in a little Scottish town. The sun is beating down,and ...
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    TwoZeroAlpha's Avatar
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    Quantitative Easing

    Pinched from another forum I use.....

    It's a slow day in a little Scottish town. The sun is beating down,and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit. On this particular day a rich tourist from down south is driving through town. He stops at the motel and lays a £50 note on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.

    As soon as the man walks upstairs, the owner grabs the note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.

    The butcher takes the £50 and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer.

    The pig farmer takes the £50 and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel.

    The guy at the Farmer's Co-op takes the £50 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer her "services" on credit.

    The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel owner.

    The hotel proprietor then places the £50 back on the counter so the rich traveller will not suspect anything.

    At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, picks up the £50 note, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town.

    No one produced anything. No one earned anything.

    However, the whole town is now out of debt and now looks to the future with a lot more optimism.

    And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the British Government is conducting business today..

    Makes you think doesn’t it?

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    Alternatively...

    It's a slow day in a little Scottish town. The sun is beating down,and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit. On this particular day a rich tourist from down south is driving through town. He stops at the motel and lays a £50 note on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.

    As soon as the man walks upstairs, the owner grabs the note and runs to the pub and celebrates his new found wealth.

    Meanwhile the rich tourist pops outside to the shops and sees a butcher. He says that he is thinking about having a barbeque and lays a £50 note on the counter saying he will pop back later to confirm what meats he may require.

    As soon as the man walks out of the shop, the butcher grabs the note and runs to the pub and celebrates his new found wealth.

    The rich tourist remembers that his son would quite like a pig as a pet, so he approaches a pig farmer and offers him £50 as a potential deposit on a nice sow.

    As soon as the man leaves the farm, the farmer grabs the note and runs to the pub and celebrates his new found wealth.

    The rich tourist realises that if he buys a pig he will need to feed it, so he goes to the local Farmer's Co-op to see what is available. He offers a £50 deposit to prove that he is serious (seeing as he didn't actually have a pig at the time).

    As soon as the man leaves the Farmer's Co-op, the guy grabs the note and runs to the pub and celebrates his new found wealth.

    The rich tourist remembers why he wanted a room in the first place, and approaches the local prostitute who has also been facing hard times. She looks particularly rough, so he changes his mind and goes back to cancel his room at the hotel.

    Unfortunately the hotel owner is nowhere to be seen.

    So he decides that a barbeque is out of the question and returns to the butchers. The shop is closed.

    Now on a bit of a downer he goes to the farm to cancel his pig, but the place is deserted!

    No pig means no feed is required, but when he visits the local Farmer's Co-op there is no-one to meet him.

    So the rich tourist is now £200 worse off and he vows never to visit that little Scottish town again - which is a bit of a shame because he was a squillionairre and was thinking about opening a factory, shopping centre, hospital and school in the town which would have massively increased it's prosperity and quality of life.

    Meanwhile the locals are naively content living on borrowed money for non-essential purposes.


    And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the British Government is conducting business today..

    That makes you think doesn’t it?



    mb

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    <Pedant> Apart from the fact that the hotel proprietor is now £50 down... </pedant>
    Last edited by pantscat; 12th March 2010 at 01:02 PM. Reason: I cannot spell!

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    RinSewand's Avatar
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    Surely he's £50 up because he no longer owe's the butcher money?

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    Hmm... but surely he's just lost the £50 from the hooker?

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    RinSewand's Avatar
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    Excellent point - I'd missed that bit out when i'd re-read it! I stand corrected (well, I'm sitting down but you get my point)

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    surely this joke needs to start with 'man walks into a bank....'

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