+ Post New Thread
Results 1 to 5 of 5
Jokes/Interweb Things Thread, Top 50 Computer Quotes in Fun Stuff; ...
  1. #1

    DaveP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Can't talk now: The mother-ship is calling!
    Posts
    8,987
    Thank Post
    352
    Thanked 1,300 Times in 890 Posts
    Blog Entries
    4
    Rep Power
    1131

    Top 50 Computer Quotes

    Top 50 Computer Quotes. Some are quite old but then they are also quite funny.

    50. "Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there's Google."

    49. "Failure is not an option -- it comes bundled with Windows."

    48. "Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music."

    47. "COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods."

    46. "Artificial Intelligence usually beats natural stupidity."

    45. "To err is human... to really foul up requires the root password."

    44. "Like car accidents, most hardware problems are due to driver error."

    43. "If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0"

    42. "If Python is executable pseudocode, then perl is executable line noise."

    41. "Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code."

    40. "Why do we want intelligent terminals when there are so many stupid users?"

    39. "I can't uninstall it, there seems to be some kind of 'Uninstall Shield'."

    38. "See daddy ? All the keys are in alphabetical order now."

    37. "Hey! It compiles! Ship it!"

    36. "SUPERCOMPUTER: what it sounded like before you bought it."

    35. "Yo moma is like HTML: Tiny head, huge body."

    34. "Windows Vista: It's like upgrading from Bill Clinton to George W. Bush."

    33. "The more I C, the less I see."

    32. "Life would be so much easier if we only had the source code."

    31. "My software never has bugs. It just develops random features."

    30. "The only problem with troubleshooting is that sometimes trouble shoots back."

    29. "Crap... Someone knocked over my recycle bin... There's icons all over my desktop..."

    28. "Relax, its only ONES and ZEROS !"

    27. "rm -rf /bin/laden"

    26. "I don't care if you ARE getting a PhD in it ! Get away from that damn computer and go find a woman !"

    25. "The great thing about Object Oriented code is that it can make small, simple problems look like large, complex ones."

    24. "If brute force doesn't solve your problems, then you aren't using enough."

    23. “Programming is like sex, one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.”

    22. "Unix is user-friendly. It's just very selective about who its friends are."

    21. Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."

    20. "I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly"

    19. The world is coming to an end... SAVE YOUR BUFFERS !"

    18. "If you don't want to be replaced by a computer, don't act like one."

    17. "Better to be a geek than an idiot."

    16. "I went to a gentleman's cybercafe — and they offered me a 'laptop dance'."

    15. "After Perl everything else is just assembly language."

    14. "The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents."

    13. "There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't."

    12. "Difference between a virus and windows ? Viruses rarely fail."

    11. "Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn't leave something that can be traced back to you."

    10. "1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d"

    9. "Helpdesk: There is an icon on your computer labeled "My Computer". Double click on it.
    User: What's your computer doing on mine?"

    8. “I think Microsoft named .Net so it wouldn’t show up in a Unix directory listing.”

    7. “If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.”

    6. "Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer."

    5. “Any fool can use a computer. Many do.”

    4. “Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.”

    3. "Those who can't write programs, write help files."

    2. "You know you're a geek when... You try to shoo a fly away from the monitor with your cursor. That just happened to me. It was scary."

    1. “Computer language design is just like a stroll in the park. Jurassic Park, that is.”

    Favourites: 5, 37 and 49.

    Source: Top 50 Funny Computer Quotes | TechSource

  2. #2

    witch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Dorset
    Posts
    10,931
    Thank Post
    1,403
    Thanked 2,422 Times in 1,699 Posts
    Rep Power
    710
    Ready made tag-lines for edugeek people!

  3. #3

    SimpleSi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Lancashire
    Posts
    5,822
    Thank Post
    1,476
    Thanked 593 Times in 445 Posts
    Rep Power
    168
    37 - because I resemble that remark

    and of course my favourite is

    1101


    Si

  4. #4

    john's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    London
    Posts
    10,362
    Thank Post
    1,499
    Thanked 1,053 Times in 922 Posts
    Rep Power
    303
    Some good ones there

  5. #5
    chrbb's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Midlands
    Posts
    1,508
    Thank Post
    141
    Thanked 67 Times in 62 Posts
    Rep Power
    47
    Sat here giggling, won't show the rest of the family, they won't understand

SHARE:
+ Post New Thread

Similar Threads

  1. Quotes please
    By chrbb in forum Our Advertisers
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 14th January 2010, 05:13 PM
  2. Replies: 13
    Last Post: 30th June 2009, 04:23 PM
  3. [Video] The top 5 toilets in computer games.
    By mattx in forum Jokes/Interweb Things
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 20th June 2009, 06:04 PM
  4. Quotes
    By apoth0r in forum Our Advertisers
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 11th June 2009, 11:32 AM
  5. Top Ten Top Rubbish TV Shows
    By tech_guy in forum General Chat
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 3rd June 2009, 10:17 AM

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •