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Jokes/Interweb Things Thread, "Administratium". in Fun Stuff; A major research institution recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has ...
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    mattx's Avatar
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    "Administratium".

    A major research institution recently announced the discovery of the
    heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been
    tentatively named
    "Administratium".

    Administratiumhas 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 97 deputy neutrons, and
    202 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. The 312
    neutrons are held together by particles called morons, which are surrounded
    by vast quantities oflepton-like particles called peons.

    Since Administratium has no protons or electrons, it is inert. However, it
    can be easily detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
    contact. For example, a minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction
    to take more than four days to complete when it would normally take about
    four minutes.

    Administratium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay,
    however, but instead undergoes a reorganisation, in which a portion of the
    assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons
    exchange places.

    Administratium's mass will increase over time, since each reorganisation
    causes some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic
    of moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is
    formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This
    hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass". You will know it
    when you see it.

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    leco's Avatar
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    Excellent Think I'll print that out and hang it in the school office. See how long anyone takes to notice it,
    Thanks mattx

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