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Jokes/Interweb Things Thread, Please be quite... in Fun Stuff; I have a little problem, mainly due to being lazy. I will type fast and miss out letters, then fire ...
  1. #16

    FN-GM's Avatar
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    I have a little problem, mainly due to being lazy.

    I will type fast and miss out letters, then fire through the spell checker without looking properly and it replaces the errors with different words.

  2. #17

    mattx's Avatar
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    It's gettin' worser & worser aint it ?

  3. #18

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    Are we having a pet hates thread here?


    • full-stop-then-also-comma: "such and such. Also, ..."
    • de-and-re: "if we can't prove it, we'll have to de-arrest him." Er... release him, if you please; "please re-take your seats." Er... having vacated it, one just takes it again
    • stupid office-speak: "It's broken. Going forward, this must never happen again."
    • exclamation!marks!all!over!the!place!!!eleventy-one!1!

  4. #19

    localzuk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by powdarrmonkey View Post
    Are we having a pet hates thread here?


    • full-stop-then-also-comma: "such and such. Also, ..."
    • de-and-re: "if we can't prove it, we'll have to de-arrest him." Er... release him, if you please; "please re-take your seats." Er... having vacated it, one just takes it again
    • stupid office-speak: "It's broken. Going forward, this must never happen again."
    • exclamation!marks!all!over!the!place!!!eleventy-one!1!
    Just a couple of points on this lot. 'De-arrest' is actually a legal procedure, not just being released.

    When you re-take a seat, you are being asked to repeat an earlier action, not do a new one. So, again that is fine. (See what I did there?)

    I agree with the other 2 points though.

  5. #20

    witch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gatt View Post
    This might help you witch with regards to its and it's -> Apostrophe Use

    I DON'T NEED ANY HELP WITH APOSTROPHE USE- I KNOW HOW TO USE ONE It's everyone else!

    (cue lots of waving arms around, Kermit-style)


    Why would you pronounce J 'Jie' unless you come from the Black Country of course?

  6. #21

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    "Going forward, this must never happen again."

    I love that one because it is a perfect description of what is required. If you really look at what the sentences means, it says that if this action happens again we are not going forward. It clearly sets out an aim, how the success is measured and that failure is not acceptable. A clear and concise instruction from a manager / leader.

    Just because you don't like manglement speak (and some manglement speak is inane, banal and plain ridiculous), try not to loose sight of the fact that it is a specialised language just like Geek and Legalese are. De-arrest is a perfect example of where an existing word or phrase (ie release) would not have been suitable to use as it already has a clear legal meaning, so a fresh word or phrase has to be used instead. Clear and precise language is often needed so there can be no confusion. Police will suggest to someone that they should stay put and answer a few questions ... as this differs from arresting someone and formally interviewing them under the present system ... it is also less paperwork.

    I think that rhetoric should be taught in schools. This helps people push the boundaries of what language we use and how we use it. It is a spoken language still and how we write it down is still up for debate and development. I am all for keeping that language as it is by preventing language drift that occurs due to laziness, but languages have to evolve. English as we know it has evolved year on year. As Americans know it the technical revolution has been the largest drive of development over a short period of time. This has led to the invention of new words though, rather than the adoption or merging of existing words.

    As for 'Aitch' and 'Haitch', it is a dialect thing. The same way to people pronounce 'oo', 'au', 'th' and 'ai' differently. After all ... scousers are right. If we have Terry Pratchett's librarian says "Ook" to rhyme with Luke, then 'book' should also rhyme with it ... and not rhyme with 'puck'. ;-)

    I also believe that slypdexia is a reason why the odd mistake may appear for people, but not an excuse. There are tools to provide help and there are techniques to help you limit the number of mistakes you make ... but this varies from person to person as to how successful they are. Discovering to what level you are dyslexic can help you work out the most appropriate techniques to limit your mistakes, but one of the best methods is to improve your spoken language skills. It helps to train the mind in the language you use, improves your vocabulary (limiting the repeat-type mistakes) and focuses on ensuring you already know what you want to type instead of doing it on the fly.
    Last edited by GrumbleDook; 23rd May 2009 at 02:26 PM.

  7. #22
    Batman's Avatar
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  8. #23
    networkingNut's Avatar
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    One thing I cant stand is text speak as I think its unprofessional. My Line manager uses it and it does my head in i.e "Fone me if summat cumes up".

  9. #24

    creese's Avatar
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    A recent notice in the canteen goes something like this:

    Due to miss-use of the salad bar the price will now be £2.

    Apart from the obvious spelling/unnecessary hyphen, how do you misuse a salad bar?

  10. #25
    Abaddon's Avatar
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    Text speak irritates me the most. To me, it implies a general lack of respect for, or interest in, the person you are communicating with - almost as if you just can't be bothered to use coherent language with them.

  11. #26
    mossj's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Abaddon View Post
    Text speak irritates me the most. To me, it implies a general lack of respect for, or interest in, the person you are communicating with - almost as if you just can't be bothered to use coherent language with them.
    A friend said 'lol' infront of me the other day whilst we were out drinking. I promptly punched him the arm, said next time it will be the face, and walked off.

  12. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by networkingNut View Post
    One thing I cant stand is text speak as I think its unprofessional. My Line manager uses it and it does my head in i.e "Fone me if summat cumes up".
    That's not text speak, it's just bad English. Txt spks whn u try nt 2 use 2 mny vwls i thnk. Saying "Fone me if summat cumes up" only saves four letters anyway, it's not even worth it .

    Oh I used an emoticon, is that bad too? I'm never quite sure how to punctuate an emoticon (?)

    While we're thinking about it, why's this thread being resurrected? It's pretty old!

  13. #28

    SYNACK's Avatar
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    I don't think that the english language is changing when looked at in the long term, when Shakespeare was writing plays the dictionary had not been invented yet and in many of his plays there were several differing spellings for the same words. The written language had been going a long time before then and the actuall meaning of the words was what mattered. The 'modern' age saw the invention of the dictionary and a set of firm rules as to which way was correct, this helped nail down the language a bit and probably make it easier to teach but it also gave rise to the great crime of misspelling. A concept that did not really exist until comparitivly recently in the history of the language.

    The core function of language is to convey information effectivly and I think that all these fancy new semantics may do just as much to hurt the language as they do to help it by alienating people from it. There are of course good points and bad to every situation and decision but I think that the tyranny of spelling is actually a detractor in that it pushed people away from the official language smply because it contains so many new ways to be wrong and told off for being so. Not that I endorse 'text speak' but the idea behind it is actually more of a return to the original spirit of the language than our common interpretation. It is about the quick conveyance of information with a limited subset of rules (letter and number sounds) to which there is a low barrier to entry. In this way 'txt spk' is actually more english than dictionary english in the long view as it is free of the contraints that distance people from its true goal.

    I am off to put on my asbestos jacket and pants just now as I can already hear the flames lapping gently at the back of my screen but as most know I am not shy of my own controversial opinions and thought that this viewpoint needed to be expressed

  14. #29

    RabbieBurns's Avatar
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    I sometiems remove vowels from a text message and truncate words so i can fit the message into the charachter limit and not have to pay for 2 SMS's ;p

  15. #30

    SYNACK's Avatar
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    Likewise if I am texting someone that can handle it and I feel like adding compression, as IT people we should be alright with the whole idea of it as it is basicly easy human readable compression for the english language. Like ZIP or RAR but implemented in people rather than software, or in fur if we take mattx's gerbils into account

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