+ Post New Thread
Results 1 to 10 of 10
Jokes/Interweb Things Thread, ASDA Joke in Fun Stuff; A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Asda with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way ...
  1. #1

    Gatt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    6,674
    Thank Post
    861
    Thanked 650 Times in 431 Posts
    Rep Power
    499

    ASDA Joke

    A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Asda with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
    The Asda greeter said pleasantly, 'Good morning, and welcome to Asda. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'
    The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'
    'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am,' replied the greeter. 'I just couldn't believe someone would shag you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Asda.'


  2. #2

    mac_shinobi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    9,785
    Thank Post
    3,292
    Thanked 1,054 Times in 975 Posts
    Rep Power
    365
    I would give you a thumbs up and a thanks for the joke - thats made my day, but I can't see a thanks button or anything like that !!!

    Thanks for that !!

  3. #3

    Gatt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    6,674
    Thank Post
    861
    Thanked 650 Times in 431 Posts
    Rep Power
    499
    Use the Rep button (scales)

  4. #4

    RabbieBurns's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    5,527
    Thank Post
    1,339
    Thanked 470 Times in 307 Posts
    Blog Entries
    6
    Rep Power
    199
    www.peninsulafm.com/ASDAprank.mp3

    Unrelated, but made me remember this cracker

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    London
    Posts
    3,156
    Thank Post
    116
    Thanked 529 Times in 452 Posts
    Blog Entries
    2
    Rep Power
    124
    Not quite related and you need to do this in a Scouse accent otherwise it completely falls to pieces:

    "There's been a fire at Tesco"

    "Asda?"

    "No, Tesco"

    Well, I thought it was funny :-)

  6. #6

    Edu-IT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    7,157
    Thank Post
    403
    Thanked 623 Times in 569 Posts
    Rep Power
    181
    Quote Originally Posted by srochford View Post
    Not quite related and you need to do this in a Scouse accent otherwise it completely falls to pieces:

    "There's been a fire at Tesco"

    "Asda?"

    "No, Tesco"

    Well, I thought it was funny :-)
    I can't do a scouse accent so perhaps you (or somebody else) could record themselves saying this because I don't get it.

  7. #7

    RabbieBurns's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    5,527
    Thank Post
    1,339
    Thanked 470 Times in 307 Posts
    Blog Entries
    6
    Rep Power
    199
    I think the "asda" line is meant to be "has there" in scouseish ?

  8. #8

    Edu-IT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    7,157
    Thank Post
    403
    Thanked 623 Times in 569 Posts
    Rep Power
    181
    Quote Originally Posted by RabbieBurns View Post
    I think the "asda" line is meant to be "has there" in scouseish ?
    Makes sense now.

    Not bad.

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    London
    Posts
    3,156
    Thank Post
    116
    Thanked 529 Times in 452 Posts
    Blog Entries
    2
    Rep Power
    124
    Quote Originally Posted by RabbieBurns View Post
    I think the "asda" line is meant to be "has there" in scouseish ?
    Thanks :-)

    I'd guess accents just don't work in text!

  10. #10

    LeMarchand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    The deepest pits of hell
    Posts
    2,188
    Thank Post
    303
    Thanked 335 Times in 238 Posts
    Rep Power
    142
    Don't forget the Asda "cake" joke:

    Asda Employee: Hello 'dis Asda, 'ow can I help you?

    Customer: I would like to order a cake for a leaving party this week.

    Asda Employee: What you want on 'da cake?

    Customer: 'Best Wishes Suzanne' and underneath that, 'We will miss you'.

    Now look at the picture.
    Attached Images Attached Images

SHARE:
+ Post New Thread

Similar Threads

  1. 360 Wireless pad +2 games £24 @ ASDA
    By PeterW in forum Gaming
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 17th November 2008, 09:51 PM

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •