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Jokes/Interweb Things Thread, ASDA Joke in Fun Stuff; A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Asda with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way ...
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    Gatt's Avatar
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    ASDA Joke

    A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Asda with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
    The Asda greeter said pleasantly, 'Good morning, and welcome to Asda. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'
    The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'
    'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am,' replied the greeter. 'I just couldn't believe someone would shag you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Asda.'


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    mac_shinobi's Avatar
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    I would give you a thumbs up and a thanks for the joke - thats made my day, but I can't see a thanks button or anything like that !!!

    Thanks for that !!

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    Gatt's Avatar
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    Use the Rep button (scales)

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    RabbieBurns's Avatar
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    www.peninsulafm.com/ASDAprank.mp3

    Unrelated, but made me remember this cracker

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    Not quite related and you need to do this in a Scouse accent otherwise it completely falls to pieces:

    "There's been a fire at Tesco"

    "Asda?"

    "No, Tesco"

    Well, I thought it was funny :-)

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    Edu-IT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by srochford View Post
    Not quite related and you need to do this in a Scouse accent otherwise it completely falls to pieces:

    "There's been a fire at Tesco"

    "Asda?"

    "No, Tesco"

    Well, I thought it was funny :-)
    I can't do a scouse accent so perhaps you (or somebody else) could record themselves saying this because I don't get it.

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    RabbieBurns's Avatar
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    I think the "asda" line is meant to be "has there" in scouseish ?

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    Edu-IT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RabbieBurns View Post
    I think the "asda" line is meant to be "has there" in scouseish ?
    Makes sense now.

    Not bad.

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    Quote Originally Posted by RabbieBurns View Post
    I think the "asda" line is meant to be "has there" in scouseish ?
    Thanks :-)

    I'd guess accents just don't work in text!

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    Don't forget the Asda "cake" joke:

    Asda Employee: Hello 'dis Asda, 'ow can I help you?

    Customer: I would like to order a cake for a leaving party this week.

    Asda Employee: What you want on 'da cake?

    Customer: 'Best Wishes Suzanne' and underneath that, 'We will miss you'.

    Now look at the picture.
    Attached Images Attached Images

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