A man returns from a holiday trip to Amsterdam feeling very ill.

He goes to see his doctor and is immediately rushed to hospital to undergo a series of tests.

After the tests, the man wakes up in a private room at the hospital and the phone by his bed suddenly rings.

"This is your doctor," says the voice on the phone, "We have the results back from your tests and I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but you have a extremely contagious and deadly sexually transmitted disease known as G.A.S.H."

"G.A.S.H?" replies the patient, "What the Hell is that?"

"It's a combination of Gonorrhoea, AIDS, Syphilis, and Herpes," explains the doctor.

"Doc!" screams the man in panic, "What are we going to do?"

"Well we're going to put you on a diet of pizza, pancakes and pita bread," replied the doctor matter-of-factly.

"Will that cure me?"

"Well no," says the doctor, "but it's the only food that will fit under the door."