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Jokes/Interweb Things Thread, Rules for Buying Gifts for Men - [ Ladies PLEASE NOTE ] in Fun Stuff; Rules for Buying Gifts for Men Rule 1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not ...
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    mattx's Avatar
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    Rules for Buying Gifts for Men - [ Ladies PLEASE NOTE ]

    Rules for Buying Gifts for Men

    Rule 1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.

    Rule 2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. No one knows why.

    Rule 3: If you are really short of money, buy him anything for his car. A 50 pence ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from the rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.

    Rule 4: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to Boy Scouts or some other such organisation. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" nylon rope. No one knows why.

    Rule 5: A new TV remote control to replace the one he has lost. If you have a lot of money buy him the latest all-singing, all-dancing widescreen TV. Watch the smile on his face as he flicks, and flicks, and flicks.

    Rule 6: Label makers are nearly as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. Men really enjoy using these. No one knows why.

    Rule 7: Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. He will be too preoccupied to speak to you for hours and he will always have parts left over.

    Rule 8: Men enjoy danger. That's why they love to barbecue. Get him a big gas barbecue. Tell him the gas pipe leaks. Such excitement! Who wants a hamburger?"

    Rule 9: Tickets to a football match are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "Creative Flower Arranging for Beginners." Everyone knows why.

    Rule 10: Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule 6 and what happens when he gets a label maker.

    Rule 11: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminium extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why!

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    tech_guy's Avatar
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    Lol, all so true! Sh!t I'm getting old.

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    I especially agree with 4, 6 and 8!

    Matt

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    My partner must be very odd (yeah, yeah, I know - he is with me after all!) because only the widescreen TV would really interest him.
    Mind you, half a million years ago when we first met, I bought him a drill and I think in those days 1,2 10 and 11 would have been OK
    But as for the others - he wouldn't have thanked me for any of it.
    But then, he's a software technical architect - 'nuff said

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    Lol, one of our office staff just took delivery of a chainsaw for her hubby...

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