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Jokes/Interweb Things Thread, Could You Explain Programming Please in Fun Stuff; Not me I may hasten to add !! Being a programmer and the only computer literate person in my family, ...
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    mattx's Avatar
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    Could You Explain Programming Please

    Not me I may hasten to add !!

    Being a programmer and the only computer literate person in my family, I get tech support calls from my family all the time. I got a phone call from a brother-in-law today:

    Him: Hey, you're good with computers right?

    Me: Yes.

    Him: And you know how to program computers?

    Me: Yes, that's my job actually.

    Him: Could you explain programming please?

    Me: I'm sorry, what do you mean?

    Him: I want to make a game like Halo, but I don't know how to start. Could you explain what I need to do?

    Me: You should probably go to the library and get a book.

    Him: Can you just tell me what I need to do?

    Me: Wait a minute. Are you asking me to explain how to program computers?

    Him: Yeah.

    Me: Over the phone?

    Him: Yeah.

    My brother in law apparently made several unsuccessful attempt to "learn programming" by opening up exes in Notepad. He created a text file with the words "Morph the screen into something cool" and couldn't figure out how to run it, even had the balls to ask me "how do I install my program? Do I just put a shortcut on the desktop".

    My dad, a programmer, lent him an unfortunately titled book called "Teach Yourself Java in 24 hours". He immediately flipped to the back of the book and reading sections on server and Swing development, and was very excited to see that he could write his own server after just one day.

    In the end, I was unable to teach my brother in law how to make his own Halo over the phone, and he decided that I wasn't a very good programmer.

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    Does your brother-in-law get excited when In The Night Garden comes on TV?

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    matt40k's Avatar
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    I had a group of year 11 try to build a BF2 mod. I said they won't be able to do it, helping out at Battlefield, despite knowing there are some excellent guides and tools to make the job. It's still not exactly easy, nor quick. I just sat back and waited, a few weeks later they had a given up after hours of trying to do it.

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    MK-2's Avatar
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    i must agree with your brother in law, you are pretty amateur if you can't help him create halo over the phone.
    i mean only last week i was helping valve with the next instalment of half life by text.
    you need to stop dragging!

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    Have you considered that he might be very skilled in IT, but even more skilled in taking the P***? ;-)

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