+ Post New Thread
Results 1 to 2 of 2
Jokes/Interweb Things Thread, Insurance Claims - [ old but still funny ] in Fun Stuff; "I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought." "I pulled into a lay-by with ...
  1. #1

    mattx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    9,240
    Thank Post
    1,058
    Thanked 1,068 Times in 625 Posts
    Rep Power
    740

    Insurance Claims - [ old but still funny ]

    "I started to slow down but the traffic was more
    stationary than I thought."

    "I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under
    the bonnet.
    I realised the car was on fire so took my dog out and
    smothered it with a blanket."

    Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the
    accident?
    A: Travelled by bus?

    A Norwich Union customer collided with a cow.
    The questions and answers on the claim form were:
    Q - What warning was given by you?
    A - Horn
    Q - What warning was given by the other party?
    A - Moo

    "I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed
    a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This
    distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a
    bollard."

    "On approach to the traffic lights the car in front
    suddenly broke."
    "I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend
    on the pillion reached over and
    grabbed my testicles so I lost control."

    "I didn't think the speed limit applied after
    midnight"

    "I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I
    would not have asked her to drive
    it if I had thought there was any risk."

    Q: Do you engage in motorcycling, hunting or any other
    pastimes of a hazardous nature?
    A: I Watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan.

    "First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car
    and a haggis ran into the rear of second car."
    "Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably
    Voodoo."
    "The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so
    I hit him again"

    "I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at
    the wheel and had an accident."

    "I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at
    my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."

    "Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and
    collided with a tree I don't have."

    "The other car collided with mine without giving
    warning of its intention."
    "I thought my window was down, but I found out it
    wasn't when I put my head through it".

    "I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way".

    "A truck backed through my windshield into my
    wife's face".

    "A pedestrian hit me and went under my car".

    "The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a
    number of times before I hit him."

    "In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone
    pole."

    "I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my
    Way home.
    As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my
    vision and I did not
    see the other car."

    "I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble
    When my universal joint gave
    way causing me to have an accident."

    "To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I
    struck the pedestrian."

    "My car was legally parked as it backed into the other
    vehicle."

    "An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car
    and vanished."

    "I am sure the old fellow would never make it to the
    other side of the road when I struck him."

    "The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran
    over him."

    "I saw a slow-moving, sad faced old gentleman, as he
    bounced off the roof of my car."

    "The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy
    in a small car with a big mouth."

    "I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was
    later found in a ditch by some stray cows."

  2. #2

    tech_guy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    That little bit in the middle of Little Old England
    Posts
    8,136
    Thank Post
    1,913
    Thanked 1,345 Times in 743 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    Rep Power
    395
    Classic stuff. Make me smile every time I read them.

SHARE:
+ Post New Thread

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 2
    Last Post: 13th June 2008, 10:50 PM
  2. insurance excess
    By Chris in forum General Chat
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 17th June 2007, 10:34 AM
  3. iBook Insurance ?
    By mac_shinobi in forum General Chat
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 4th February 2006, 06:25 PM

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •