+ Post New Thread
Results 1 to 7 of 7
Jokes/Interweb Things Thread, Gripe sheets in Fun Stuff; After reading this I'm tempted to use gripe sheets in school - purely for my own amusement According to the ...
  1. #1
    alan-d's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Sutton Coldfield
    Posts
    2,414
    Thank Post
    360
    Thanked 256 Times in 187 Posts
    Rep Power
    75

    Gripe sheets

    After reading this I'm tempted to use gripe sheets in school - purely for my own amusement

    According to the story, after every Qantas Airlines flight (other airlines, and military sources are suggested instead also) the pilots complete a a 'gripe sheet' report, which conveys to the ground crew engineers any mechanical problems on the aircraft during the flight. The engineer reads the form, corrects the problem, then writes details of action taken on the lower section of the form for the pilot to review before the next flight. It is clear from the examples below that ground crew engineers have a keen sense of humour - these are supposedly real extracts from gripe forms completed by pilots with the solution responses by the engineers. Incidentally, Qantas has the best safety record of all the world's major airlines.

    (1 = The problem logged by the pilot.) (2 = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.)
    1. Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    2. Almost replaced left inside main tire.
    1. Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    2. Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
    1. Something loose in cockpit.
    2. Something tightened in cockpit.
    1. Dead bugs on windshield.
    2. Live bugs on back-order.
    1. Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
    2. Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
    1. Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    2. Evidence removed.
    1. DME volume unbelievably loud.
    2. DME volume set to more believable level.
    1. Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    2. That's what they're there for.
    1. IFF inoperative.
    2. IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
    1. Suspected crack in windshield.
    2. Suspect you're right.
    1. Number 3 engine missing.
    2. Engine found on right wing after brief search.
    1. Aircraft handles funny.
    2. Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
    1. Target radar hums.
    2. Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
    1. Mouse in cockpit.
    2. Cat installed.
    1. Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
    2. Took hammer away from midget.

  2. #2

    elsiegee40's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Kent
    Posts
    10,786
    Thank Post
    1,789
    Thanked 2,180 Times in 1,615 Posts
    Rep Power
    771
    Much enjoyed

    1. IFF inoperative.
    2. IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
    Their technicians obviously have much in common with us!

  3. #3

    maniac's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Kent
    Posts
    3,051
    Thank Post
    209
    Thanked 427 Times in 307 Posts
    Rep Power
    144
    1. Dead bugs on windshield.
    2. Live bugs on back-order.
    Now that made me laugh.

    We used to get a lot of tickets 'computer frozen' to which we'd uniformly reply, 'please try working somewhere a little warmer' until one lady took us seriosuly.

    Mike.
    Last edited by maniac; 24th June 2008 at 06:18 PM.

  4. #4

    john's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    London
    Posts
    10,527
    Thank Post
    1,496
    Thanked 1,050 Times in 919 Posts
    Rep Power
    303
    Good Stuff

  5. #5

    Gatt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    6,659
    Thank Post
    858
    Thanked 646 Times in 429 Posts
    Rep Power
    498
    An Oldie but always worth a laugh

  6. #6
    alan-d's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Sutton Coldfield
    Posts
    2,414
    Thank Post
    360
    Thanked 256 Times in 187 Posts
    Rep Power
    75
    My favourite

    1. Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    2. Evidence removed.

  7. #7

    ZeroHour's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Edinburgh, Scotland
    Posts
    5,652
    Thank Post
    897
    Thanked 1,316 Times in 799 Posts
    Blog Entries
    1
    Rep Power
    444
    Awesome
    Rep+

SHARE:
+ Post New Thread

Similar Threads

  1. cheat sheets
    By russdev in forum Web Development
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 18th February 2008, 02:38 PM

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •