[Joke] calendar

[Inbir316]

i once stole a calendar.....i got 12 months for it

[DanW]

[Ryan]

A man walks into a bar ........ you'd think he'd have seen it.

[laserblazer]

Why did the chewing gum cross the road?



Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot

[witch]

" oh no", said an atom, "I've lost an electron!"
his friend said.... "are you positive?"

[webman]

Man goes to doctors complaining of strawberries growing out of his head. The doctor says, "I've got some cream for those!"

[SeanVin]

Cow 1: I've just been artificially inseminated!

Cow 2: Are you sure?

Cow 1: Yep, Straight up, no bull.

[somabc]

Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Dr
Dr Who?
Yes

*sorry*

[joe90bass]

One day, long, long ago....... there lived a woman who did not whine, nag or complain.






But this was a long time ago....... and it was just that one day.





The End

[laserblazer]

Uses strong language but pretty funny.

YouTube - Ronaldo Leaves Utd

[somabc]

Why did the Chicken cross the Möbius Strip?
to get to the other .. er ...

[antoeknee]

Guy goes to doctors due to a hearing problem

Doc looks in his ears and finds jelly and blamonge in one ear and sponge and custard in the other.

And says 'I think you're a triffle deaf'

Sorry

Oh, and another from when my son was at primary school i.e. a long time ago

What shakes at the bottom of the sea?

Its a nervous wreck of course

Might just be bad enough for an xmas cracker joke

[Inbir316]

wat do you call a one eyed dinosaur?





ithinkhesaurus




what do you call a 3 eyed dinosaur?


doyouthinkhesaurus

[Hightower]

what do you call a 3 eyed dinosaur?


doyouthinkhesaurus

Shouldn't that one be the 1 eyes dinosaur?

[ICT_GUY]

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.

Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide." He told me from now on I have to pay in advance.


I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."

When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!"

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.

Rodney Dangerfield RIP.