Jokes/Interweb Things Thread, What does it mean to be british? in Fun Stuff; Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, ...
18th April 2008, 11:44 PM #1
What does it mean to be british?
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV
And the most British thing of all?
Suspicion of all things foreign!
Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.
NOT TO MENTION..
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.
In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.
If you're proud to be British, send this on!
Oh and as for the reason as to why we drive German cars, drink beer from Belgium, sit on Sweedish furniture and watch Japanese TVs:
YouTube - The IT Crowd-Fire
19th April 2008, 03:12 AM #2
Thank God I'm only 50% English
19th April 2008, 05:05 AM #3
You saved the best till last john. brilliant.
Originally Posted by john
I've got to click the rep button for that.
Last edited by torledo; 19th April 2008 at 05:08 AM.
19th April 2008, 10:29 AM #4
Funny, but I've seen that one before... but with Yanks instead of Brits!
19th April 2008, 12:00 PM #5
Has anyone else noticed that if you add negative rep, it still says "may you be lucky enough to receive the same reputation in return!"?
19th April 2008, 01:57 PM #6
You can add negative rep ? didn't notice that.
Originally Posted by bizzel
btw does anyone know the significance of the green buckets ?
19th April 2008, 03:25 PM #7
19th April 2008, 05:19 PM #8
Thank god i'm 100% Scottish
Originally Posted by Joedetic
21st April 2008, 11:15 AM #9
The post says British, which, last time I checked included the Scottish
21st April 2008, 11:23 AM #10
Hmm.. yeah.. technically.. but not if we happen to lose a sporting event..
Originally Posted by StewartKnight
If we win.. we're british.. if we lose.. we're "scottish"
21st April 2008, 12:03 PM #11
Sorry but i'm not British, i'm Scottish.
21st April 2008, 12:05 PM #12
You are British - as Great Britain is made up of England, Scotland and Wales. So, unless Scotland suddenly becomes independent, you are classed as British.
Originally Posted by Ryan
21st April 2008, 12:10 PM #13
If we win.. we're british.. if we lose.. we're "scottish" :-)
Unfortunatly Ryan you are British though
21st April 2008, 12:29 PM #14
Can I ask something here. How come there are around 5 million Scottish folk live in Scotland yet around 6 million Scotish folk live in England. If you hate us that much why don't you jack off back to your own country?
Oh, and stop putting Scottish stickers on the back of your cars - all that makes me think is your country has an identity crisis.
21st April 2008, 12:37 PM #15
I think that's a bit strong.
It's not so much the Scottish hating the English or vice versa, it's just people having to have something to hate. Northerners moaning about southerners, Man City hating Man U fans.
Trust me most Scottish don't 'really' hate the English and vice versa, i've never had an issue while there and have Scottish friends who don't hate me (well most of the time :-)).
Last edited by cookie_monster; 21st April 2008 at 12:39 PM.
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