+ Post New Thread
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 31
Jokes/Interweb Things Thread, What does it mean to be british? in Fun Stuff; Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, ...
  1. #1

    john's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    London
    Posts
    10,428
    Thank Post
    1,534
    Thanked 1,066 Times in 931 Posts
    Rep Power
    305

    What does it mean to be british?

    Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV

    And the most British thing of all?
    Suspicion of all things foreign!

    Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

    Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

    Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

    Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

    Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

    Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

    Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

    NOT TO MENTION..

    3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

    142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

    58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

    31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

    19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

    British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.

    18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

    A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.

    5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.

    and finally...

    In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.


    If you're proud to be British, send this on!

    Oh and as for the reason as to why we drive German cars, drink beer from Belgium, sit on Sweedish furniture and watch Japanese TVs:
    YouTube - The IT Crowd-Fire

  2. #2
    Joedetic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Walsall
    Posts
    1,316
    Thank Post
    6
    Thanked 13 Times in 13 Posts
    Rep Power
    22
    Epic John...just....epic.

    Thank God I'm only 50% English

  3. #3
    torledo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    2,928
    Thank Post
    168
    Thanked 155 Times in 126 Posts
    Rep Power
    48
    Quote Originally Posted by john View Post

    In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.
    You saved the best till last john. brilliant.

    I've got to click the rep button for that.
    Last edited by torledo; 19th April 2008 at 05:08 AM.

  4. #4

    Andrew_C's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Winchester
    Posts
    3,095
    Thank Post
    64
    Thanked 407 Times in 308 Posts
    Rep Power
    166
    Funny, but I've seen that one before... but with Yanks instead of Brits!

  5. #5
    bizzel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Cambridge
    Posts
    654
    Thank Post
    102
    Thanked 204 Times in 72 Posts
    Rep Power
    51
    Rep++;

    Has anyone else noticed that if you add negative rep, it still says "may you be lucky enough to receive the same reputation in return!"?

  6. #6
    torledo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    2,928
    Thank Post
    168
    Thanked 155 Times in 126 Posts
    Rep Power
    48
    Quote Originally Posted by bizzel View Post
    Rep++;

    Has anyone else noticed that if you add negative rep, it still says "may you be lucky enough to receive the same reputation in return!"?
    You can add negative rep ? didn't notice that.

    btw does anyone know the significance of the green buckets ?

  7. #7

    john's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    London
    Posts
    10,428
    Thank Post
    1,534
    Thanked 1,066 Times in 931 Posts
    Rep Power
    305
    what green buckets?

  8. #8

    Gatt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    6,808
    Thank Post
    880
    Thanked 684 Times in 453 Posts
    Rep Power
    505
    Quote Originally Posted by Joedetic View Post
    Epic John...just....epic.

    Thank God I'm only 50% English
    Thank god i'm 100% Scottish

  9. #9
    StewartKnight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    1,587
    Thank Post
    2
    Thanked 27 Times in 21 Posts
    Rep Power
    31
    The post says British, which, last time I checked included the Scottish

  10. #10

    Gatt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    6,808
    Thank Post
    880
    Thanked 684 Times in 453 Posts
    Rep Power
    505
    Quote Originally Posted by StewartKnight View Post
    The post says British, which, last time I checked included the Scottish
    Hmm.. yeah.. technically.. but not if we happen to lose a sporting event..

    If we win.. we're british.. if we lose.. we're "scottish"


  11. #11
    Ryan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    537
    Thank Post
    12
    Thanked 16 Times in 15 Posts
    Blog Entries
    1
    Rep Power
    29
    Sorry but i'm not British, i'm Scottish.

  12. #12

    localzuk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Minehead
    Posts
    18,377
    Thank Post
    525
    Thanked 2,613 Times in 2,019 Posts
    Blog Entries
    24
    Rep Power
    891
    Quote Originally Posted by Ryan View Post
    Sorry but i'm not British, i'm Scottish.
    You are British - as Great Britain is made up of England, Scotland and Wales. So, unless Scotland suddenly becomes independent, you are classed as British.

  13. #13
    cookie_monster's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Derbyshire
    Posts
    4,217
    Thank Post
    394
    Thanked 278 Times in 239 Posts
    Rep Power
    75
    If we win.. we're british.. if we lose.. we're "scottish" :-)

    Unfortunatly Ryan you are British though

  14. #14
    kerrymoralee9280
    Guest
    [RANT]

    Can I ask something here. How come there are around 5 million Scottish folk live in Scotland yet around 6 million Scotish folk live in England. If you hate us that much why don't you jack off back to your own country?

    Oh, and stop putting Scottish stickers on the back of your cars - all that makes me think is your country has an identity crisis.

    [/RANT]

  15. #15
    cookie_monster's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Derbyshire
    Posts
    4,217
    Thank Post
    394
    Thanked 278 Times in 239 Posts
    Rep Power
    75
    I think that's a bit strong.

    It's not so much the Scottish hating the English or vice versa, it's just people having to have something to hate. Northerners moaning about southerners, Man City hating Man U fans.

    Trust me most Scottish don't 'really' hate the English and vice versa, i've never had an issue while there and have Scottish friends who don't hate me (well most of the time :-)).
    Last edited by cookie_monster; 21st April 2008 at 12:39 PM.



SHARE:
+ Post New Thread
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. British Motor Show 2008
    By SYSMAN_MK in forum General Chat
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 8th February 2008, 02:12 PM
  2. British Reparations
    By _Bat_ in forum General Chat
    Replies: 51
    Last Post: 22nd March 2007, 01:36 AM
  3. The British psyche through use of smilies
    By ITWombat in forum General Chat
    Replies: 36
    Last Post: 2nd July 2006, 01:17 AM
  4. British Computer Society
    By Dos_Box in forum General Chat
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 18th January 2006, 11:44 PM

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •