+ Post New Thread
Page 4 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Results 46 to 60 of 61
Jokes/Interweb Things Thread, Dad Jokes in Fun Stuff; After a meal as I pick up the plates my wife often says "the dishwasher is filling up" and I ...
  1. #46

    CESIL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Hampshire
    Posts
    1,404
    Thank Post
    109
    Thanked 267 Times in 198 Posts
    Rep Power
    168
    After a meal as I pick up the plates my wife often says "the dishwasher is filling up" and I just have to reply "I didn't know it is so emotional"

    And at school if a pupil asks if they can go to the toilet I reply "yes but not here!"

    And when my kids were small and they asked to get down from the table I would ask why they were on it in the first place.

    In my defence I must say I got most of my Dad jokes from my Dad and growing up in the 70s watching the likes of Tommy Cooper.

  2. #47

    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    107
    Thank Post
    11
    Thanked 29 Times in 22 Posts
    Rep Power
    28
    Conversation with my wife:

    Wife: "What was the name of that guy who created Frankenstein?"
    Me: "Er... Frankenstein's Dad?"
    Wife: "..... I meant the monster..."
    Me: "Ahhhhh"

  3. #48


    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    2,614
    Thank Post
    934
    Thanked 350 Times in 266 Posts
    Rep Power
    212
    Frankenstein was the creator :P
    Also, apparently the monster has been known as Adam

  4. #49

    CESIL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Hampshire
    Posts
    1,404
    Thank Post
    109
    Thanked 267 Times in 198 Posts
    Rep Power
    168
    Quote Originally Posted by Garacesh View Post
    Frankenstein was the creator :P
    Also, apparently the monster has been known as Adam
    That's not very funny even for a dad joke! 😀

  5. #50

    Jawloms's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    817
    Thank Post
    175
    Thanked 104 Times in 72 Posts
    Rep Power
    185
    She opened the door in her nighty.
    Funny place to have a door.....

  6. #51
    Fleetwood's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Gloucestershire
    Posts
    715
    Thank Post
    162
    Thanked 89 Times in 50 Posts
    Rep Power
    41
    Quote Originally Posted by sonofsanta View Post
    Real life Dad joke: the car park barrier at Lincoln hospital has a sign on it saying "depress button for ticket". Every single time, much to the annoyance of my wife in the passenger seat, I will start telling it that it's a rubbish button, nobody likes it, it can't do its job properly...
    Haha brilliant

  7. #52


    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    5,420
    Thank Post
    1,437
    Thanked 877 Times in 563 Posts
    Rep Power
    645
    A Bloke goes to doctor, complaining about his leg. "It keeps talking," he says.
    Doctor tells him to take off his pants and lie on examination couch.
    He then listens to man's thigh through the stethoscope.
    Thigh says, "Lend us a tenner."
    "Remarkable," says doctor, moving stethoscope down to knee.
    "Lend us a fiver," says knee.
    "Incredible," says doctor, moving stethoscope down to ankle.
    "Lend us a couple of quid," says ankle.
    "Amazing!" says doctor.
    "What's wrong?" asks man.
    "Your leg is broke in three places."

  8. #53

    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Cambridgeshire
    Posts
    522
    Thank Post
    141
    Thanked 75 Times in 67 Posts
    Rep Power
    19
    What do you call a deer that can't see?


    No idea.....

    What do you call a deer that can't see and has no legs?


    Still no idea....

  9. #54

    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Cambridgeshire
    Posts
    522
    Thank Post
    141
    Thanked 75 Times in 67 Posts
    Rep Power
    19
    What do you call a dog with no ears?

    Anything you like - it can't hear you....

  10. #55
    SiliconAlley_Sam's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    518
    Thank Post
    187
    Thanked 103 Times in 80 Posts
    Rep Power
    51
    How did the man drown in the muesli? He was pulled under by a very strong currant.

    When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.

  11. #56

    bladedanny's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Sheffield
    Posts
    1,271
    Thank Post
    189
    Thanked 298 Times in 224 Posts
    Rep Power
    130
    What's pink and fluffy?

    Pink Fluff

    What's green and fluffy?

    Pink fluff feeling sea sick.

  12. #57
    muppet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Oxfordshire
    Posts
    168
    Thank Post
    31
    Thanked 18 Times in 17 Posts
    Rep Power
    21
    If you're struggling to think of what to get someone for Christmas. Get them a fridge and watch their face light up when they open it.

    I dreamed about drowning in an sea made out of orange fizzy pop last night. It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.

    What do you call a Mexican man leaving the hospital? Manuel.

    I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

    I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.

    And my current favourite..............
    I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it. It was a shitzu.

  13. #58

    tech_guy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    That little bit in the middle of Little Old England
    Posts
    8,136
    Thank Post
    1,908
    Thanked 1,344 Times in 742 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    Rep Power
    395
    What is green, has 4 legs, 22 balls, and can kill you if it falls onto you out of a tree? A snooker table.

  14. #59
    Mcshammer_dj's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Portsmouth
    Posts
    936
    Thank Post
    35
    Thanked 164 Times in 132 Posts
    Rep Power
    94
    I bought an Alcoholic Ginger Beer last night.

    He wasn't happy

  15. #60


    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    5,420
    Thank Post
    1,437
    Thanked 877 Times in 563 Posts
    Rep Power
    645
    Quote Originally Posted by tech_guy View Post
    What is green, has 4 legs, 22 balls, and can kill you if it falls onto you out of a tree? A snooker table.
    How many legs?

    snooker.jpg

SHARE:
+ Post New Thread
Page 4 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. [Joke] NERD JOKES: How many do you understand?
    By mattx in forum Jokes/Interweb Things
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: 19th August 2014, 04:35 PM
  2. [Joke] Jokes by the bagful
    By Hightower in forum Jokes/Interweb Things
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 4th June 2008, 10:00 AM
  3. [Joke] Quick joke - Highland Burn
    By Ryan in forum Jokes/Interweb Things
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 9th May 2008, 02:56 PM
  4. [Joke] Friday Joke!
    By Elky in forum Jokes/Interweb Things
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 18th April 2008, 03:08 PM
  5. [Joke] Friday Joke
    By Paul_L in forum Jokes/Interweb Things
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 11th April 2008, 09:00 PM

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •