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Jokes/Interweb Things Thread, He is real.... in Fun Stuff; http://news.bbc.co.uk/player/nol/new...news=1&bbcws=1 http://www.noradsanta.org/en/home.htm Russell...
  1. #1

    russdev's Avatar
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    mattx's Avatar
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    Re: He is real....

    Of course he is - anyone who thinks otherwise is a jerk.

  3. #3

    SimpleSi's Avatar
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    Re: He is real....

    Will someone get a moderator to delete this thread IMMEDIATALEY before some of our younger Edugeekers start reading it!!!


    Simon

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    russdev's Avatar
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    Re: He is real....

    This thread is proof for all those doubting jerks

    Russ

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    SimpleSi's Avatar
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    Re: He is real....

    Sorry - I just panicked

    I've checked out the links and they are OK for the young ones

    Someone once told me the tooth fairy didn't really exist and I've been a bit sensitive since ops:

    regards

    Simon

  6. #6
    chrbb's Avatar
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    Re: He is real....

    What!!!!!!! You mean there is no tooth fairy! You'll be telling us that Sooty's not real next - whats the world coming to? :cry:

  7. #7

    EduTech's Avatar
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    Re: He is real....

    :O Santa is real .. No way :P

    This thread is going to prove it to all my mates now lool

    and theres no tooth fairy either

    Looks like you guys aint getting nothing for christmas

    hehe Regards

    James

  8. #8

    elsiegee40's Avatar
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    Re: He is real....

    At my school there are 150 experts who know that santa exists... and the tooth fairy... and don't try believeing anything else

    You have to be very careful what you say in primary schools !

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    mac_shinobi's Avatar
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    Re: He is real....

    What happened to the easter bunny ? You can't tell me there isn't an easter bunny, I mean come on, all those delicious chocolate eggs lol.

  10. #10

    localzuk's Avatar
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    Re: He is real....

    Lol, good to see our military has a sense of humour

  11. #11

    mac_shinobi's Avatar
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    Re: He is real....

    Quote Originally Posted by localzuk
    Lol, good to see our military has a sense of humour
    its that or cry and im not doing the latter lol

  12. #12

    tech_guy's Avatar
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    Re: He is real....

    Quote Originally Posted by chrbb
    What!!!!!!! You mean there is no tooth fairy! You'll be telling us that Sooty's not real next - whats the world coming to? :cry:
    Sorry, but Sooty is a glove puppet with a man's hand up its arse. I was devastated too when I found out. I mean, Sooty was my childhood hero, man.

  13. #13

    webman's Avatar
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    Re: He is real....

    Oohhh no he isn't!!

    Is There a Santa Claus?

    As a result of an overwhelming lack of requests, and with research help from that renowned scientific journal, SPY magazine (January, 1990) --- I am pleased to present a scientific inquiry into the existence of Santa Claus.

    [list=1][*]No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.[*]There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world.
    • But since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau.
    • At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

    [*]Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical).
    • This works out to 822.6 visits per second.
    • This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to: park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.
    • Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.
    • This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second. A conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

    [*]The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight.
    • On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" could pull ten times the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine.
    • We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

    [*]353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere.
    • The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake.
    • The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second.
    • Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.09 times greater than gravity.
    • A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the backof his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

    [/list]

    In conclusion - If Santa ever did deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.


  14. #14

    tech_guy's Avatar
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    Re: He is real....

    Wot? Santa dead?! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!

  15. #15
    contink's Avatar
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    Re: He is real....

    Having worked in primaries for a while now and seeing just how much wonderment can be had from discussions about Santa, flying reindeer and the like I hate to disappoint the apologists but I'm a believer.

    Fictional or not he's a source of joy, blackmail (ie: "Santa won't visit if you're naughty") and reward that I can't help but like the character and all who play him in some guise or other.

    So to all you who delight in trying to kill him off, mid life crisis or not, you ain't getting my vote... :P

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