+ Post New Thread
Results 1 to 7 of 7
Jokes/Interweb Things Thread, 25 Highbrow Jokes in Fun Stuff; 1. A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage. The photon replies: ...
  1. #1

    LeMarchand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    The deepest pits of hell
    Thank Post
    Thanked 331 Times in 235 Posts
    Rep Power

    25 Highbrow Jokes

    1. A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage. The photon replies: “No, I’m travelling light.”

    2. “Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?”

    3. What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time doing? Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

    4. A TCP packet walks into a bar, and says to the barman: “Hello, I’d like a beer.” The barman replies: “Hello, you’d like a beer?” “Yes,” replies the TCP packet, “I’d like a beer.”

    5. An electron is driving down a motorway, and a policeman pulls him over. The policeman says: “Sir, do you realise you were travelling at 130km per hour?” The electron goes: “Oh great, now I’m lost.”

    6. Pavlov is enjoying a pint in the pub. The phone rings. He jumps up and shouts: “Hell, I forgot to feed the dog!”

    7. How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A fish.

    8. There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that know binary, and those that don’t.

    9. When I heard that oxygen and magnesium hooked up I was like OMg.

    10. The barman says: “We don’t serve faster-than-light particles here.” A tachyon enters a bar.

    11. A Buddhist monk approaches a hotdog stand and says: “Make me one with everything”.

    12. What do you call two crows on a branch? Attempted murder.

    13. An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are walking down the street together. A juggler is performing on the street but there are so many people that the four men can’t see the juggler. So the juggler goes on top of a platform and asks: “Can you see me now?” The four men answer: “Yes.” “Oui.” “Si.” “Ja.”

    14. Never trust an atom. They make up everything.

    15. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it’s a hardware problem.

    16. A student travelling on a train looks up and sees Einstein sitting next to him. Excited, he asks: “Excuse me, professor. Does Boston stop at this train?”

    17. Did you hear about the jurisprudence fetishist? He got off on a technicality.

    18. Werner Heisenberg, Kurt Gödel, and Noam Chomsky walk into a bar. Heisenberg turns to the other two and says: “Clearly this is a joke, but how can we figure out if it’s funny or not?” Gödel replies: “We can’t know that because we’re inside the joke.” Chomsky says: “Of course it’s funny. You’re just telling it wrong.”

    19. A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says: “Five beers, please.”

    20. Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.

    21. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The bartender says: “What’ll it be, boys?” The first mathematician: “I’ll have one half of a beer.” The second mathematician: “I’ll have one quarter of a beer.” The third mathematician: “I’ll have one eight of a beer.” The fourth mathematician: “I’ll have one sixteenth of a…” The bartender interrupts: “Know your limits, boys” as he pours out a single beer.

    22. What does the “B” in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? Answer: Benoit B Mandelbrot.

    23. Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French café, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress: “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.” The waitress replies: “I’m sorry, Monsieur, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk?”

    24. A classics professor goes to a tailor to get his trousers mended. The tailor asks: “Euripides?” The professor replies: “Yes. Eumenides?”

    25. A programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

    From the Independent

  2. #2

    unixman_again's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Thank Post
    Thanked 133 Times in 100 Posts
    Rep Power
    I've always known the answer to 7 as "Two, one to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly coloured machine tools".

  3. #3

    TechMonkey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    South East
    Thank Post
    Thanked 403 Times in 300 Posts
    Rep Power
    Some of these are great but it gets a bit much when a paper is reporting on Reddit threads!

  4. #4

    tech_guy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    That little bit in the middle of Little Old England
    Thank Post
    Thanked 1,342 Times in 741 Posts
    Blog Entries
    Rep Power

  5. #5

    X-13's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Thank Post
    Thanked 1,903 Times in 1,316 Posts
    Blog Entries
    Rep Power
    I got a few laughs out of these.

    Nice way to approch the end of the day.

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Worthing, West Sussex
    Thank Post
    Thanked 73 Times in 68 Posts
    Rep Power
    Quote Originally Posted by TechMonkey View Post
    Some of these are great but it gets a bit much when a paper is reporting on Reddit threads!
    The Daily Mail does this most days, admittedly a few days behind Reddit!

  7. #7

    sparkeh's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Thank Post
    Thanked 1,639 Times in 1,096 Posts
    Blog Entries
    Rep Power
    Hehe good stuff.

    Think I possibly posted this the other day but anyway: There are two types of people in the world, those that understand recursion and those that understand that there are two types of people in the world.

+ Post New Thread

Similar Threads

  1. [Joke] NERD JOKES: How many do you understand?
    By mattx in forum Jokes/Interweb Things
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 26th January 2009, 12:59 PM
  2. [Joke] Jokes by the bagful
    By Hightower in forum Jokes/Interweb Things
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 4th June 2008, 10:00 AM
  3. [Joke] Quick joke - Highland Burn
    By Ryan in forum Jokes/Interweb Things
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 9th May 2008, 02:56 PM
  4. [Joke] Friday Joke!
    By Elky in forum Jokes/Interweb Things
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 18th April 2008, 03:08 PM
  5. [Joke] Friday Joke
    By Paul_L in forum Jokes/Interweb Things
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 11th April 2008, 09:00 PM

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts