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Jokes/Interweb Things Thread, The programmers Wife in Fun Stuff; Originally Posted by mac_shinobi A Class Really? I thought it was DIM...
  1. #16

    Jawloms's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mac_shinobi View Post
    A Class
    Really? I thought it was DIM

  2. #17

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    Oh someone once said to me

    "Knock Knock"
    "Who's there"
    "..."
    "..."
    "..."
    "..."
    "..."
    "..."
    "Java"

  3. #18

    mac_shinobi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sparkeh View Post
    Oh someone once said to me

    "Knock Knock"
    "Who's there"
    "..."
    "..."
    "..."
    "..."
    "..."
    "..."
    "Java"
    Dunno about the first bit but a coffee sounds great right now !!

  4. #19

    mac_shinobi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jawloms View Post
    Really? I thought it was DIM
    The joke or to declare the variable ?

  5. #20

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    I was leaving that for you to figure out

  6. #21

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    A Microsoft dev is walking down a walking path on campus when he hears a frog say, “If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful woman. We can get married, and I will be your loving wife forever”. The geek and the frog stare at each other for a bit, and then he picks up the frog and gently places her in his front pocket. The frog sticks her head out and says “aren’t you going to kiss me?”

    “No” says the dev, “I work for Microsoft, I don’t have time for a wife – but a talking frog is really cool!”

  7. #22

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    A group of ten top software engineers is sent to a class for aspiring managers. The teacher walks in and asks this question:

    “You work for a software company which develops avionics (software that controls the instruments of an airplane). One day you are taking a business trip. As you get on the plane you see a plaque that says this plane is using a beta of the software your team developed. Who would get off?”

    Nine developers raised their hands. The teacher looked at the tenth and asked, “Why would you stay on?”

    The tenth said, “if my team wrote the software, the plane would not get off the ground, much less crash.”

  8. #23

    mac_shinobi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jawloms View Post
    I was leaving that for you to figure out
    No Option Explicit so variable declaration doesn't matter too much lol, then again.......
    Last edited by mac_shinobi; 28th June 2013 at 05:07 PM.

  9. #24

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    How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

    None. It's a hardware problem.

  10. #25


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    Quote Originally Posted by Jawloms View Post
    "There are 10 types of people who understand binary - those that do, and those that don't".
    I heard it went: "There are 10 types of people who understand binary - those that do, and those that get sex on a regular basis

  11. #26

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    Quote Originally Posted by elsiegee40 View Post
    How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

    None. It's a hardware problem.
    ...how many hardware engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?

    None. It's a software problem.



    mb

  12. #27

    elsiegee40's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Martin View Post
    ...how many hardware engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?

    None. It's a software problem.



    mb
    Hardware engineers never do what they are supposed to do... and then moan when the programmers start fixing the hardware in frustration

  13. #28

    DaveP's Avatar
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    There are two kittens on a sloped roof.

    Q: Which one slides off first?

    A: The one with the lowest mew.


  14. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by DaveP View Post
    There are two kittens on a sloped roof.

    Q: Which one slides off first?

    A: The one with the lowest mew.

    Easy now - slipping a physics/mechanics joke in...

  15. #30

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    How can you tell the difference between a Plumber and a Chemist?

    Get them to pronounce unionised.



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