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Jokes/Interweb Things Thread, Stopped for not speeding in Fun Stuff; This was posted in another forum which I frequent, it didn't happen to me, or anyone that I know personally, ...
  1. #1

    Geoff's Avatar
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    Stopped for not speeding

    This was posted in another forum which I frequent, it didn't happen to me, or anyone that I know personally, so could be entirely made up, but I found it quite funny.

    -----------

    just had an interesting chat with one of East Sussex's finest police officers - let's call him officer Dibble

    The discussion went something like this

    Dibble "good afternoon sir, is this your car"

    me "yes, why have you stopped me?"

    Dibble "How fast were you driving just before we stopped you?"

    me "about 55/60mph"

    Dibble "Actually it was 58mph, are you aware of the speed limit?

    me "yes"

    Dibble "then why were you going nearly 20 mph over the limit?" (at which point a lecture about the danger of speeding, failing to respond to road signs, how it was a country road etc etc etc)

    me "sorry but are you aware that this section of the road is national speed limit?"

    Dibble "no it's not. It is a 40 mph zone, the signs are back there"

    me "so what about that sign I passed saying it was no longer a 40 zone but national limit?"

    Dibble "there is no sign"

    me "let's go back and have a look shall we?"

    Dibble "there's no need, we clearly saw the 40 mph signs"

    me "you are not local are you?"

    Dibble, "no we are from Heathfield (about 20 miles away) but that doesn't
    make any difference. You were still exceeding the speed limit"

    me "If you were local you would know about the national limit sign on the post which is kind of hard to see since the council put a sign up which almost hides it"

    Dibble "well we didn't see it"

    me "does that mean it's not there then?"

    Dibble "no, but it does mean that in our opinion you were speeding"

    me "so you are going to give me a ticket for doing 58mph in a 60 mph zone because you didn't see the sign? Who's going to ring the local papers - you or me?"

    Dibble "don't get sarcastic with me"

    me "shall we go back and have a look at that sign now?"

    Dibble "no I'll wait here with you and my partner will go back and check"

    me "I'll lock my car up and we can all go back together - I can show you where the sign is then"

    Dibble "do you think we are incapable of seeing a sign at the side of the road?"

    me "I'm not going to answer that one because you'll probably accuse me of being sarcastic.........but isn't that why you stopped me in the first place"

    Dibble then went to his car and sent his mate off to have a look, 2 minutes later he's back and the two of them are having a bit of a chat

    Dibble "You are half right, there is a sign there but because it's partly obscured by other signage and the hedge then it doesn't apply"

    me "you've just made that up haven't you?"

    Dibble "no that's how it works so although the sign is there because you can't see it then it doesn't apply so you were speeding"

    me " I did see it, that's why I accelerated from 40 mph to 60 mph, it was you that didn't see it which is why you stopped me for not speeding"

    Dibble "I've told you about being sarcastic"

    me "so if I were going the other way and didn't slow down for the 40mph sign which is actually partly hidden in the hedge at the moment I could use this argument and quote you to avoid getting nicked - would you write it down for me along with your name and number?"

    Dibble "I've told you about being sarcastic"

    me "Look this is going nowhere, either give me a ticket for speeding or let me go home"

    I then got a pen out of my car door pocket and started to write down his number

    Dibble "what are you doing"

    me "without wishing to sound even slightly sarcastic, I'm writing down your number so that I can report you"

    Dibble "OK, go on then, carry on, go home or wherever you were going just don't do it again"

    me "don't do what again?"

    Dibble - no answer just got in his car and they drove off

    Now, should I report the muppet or not?

  2. #2

    webman's Avatar
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    Re: Stopped for not speeding

    Hilarious

  3. #3

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    Re: Stopped for not speeding

    YES: just for the way he treat you in an insulting manner which not only lowers your opinion of the police force around your area but also his partner who is either too intimidated by this bully or just a bully himself.

    Geoff: just think if had been person who was not as sharp as yourself they would have probably caved in to his bullyboy tactics and would be looking at an £80 on the spot fine and penalty points.

    Tell me you will do the right thing just for other peoples sake. No wonder people have lost faith in the police.

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    bossman's Avatar
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    Re: Stopped for not speeding

    Geoff:
    apologies for not reading the beginning of your post (one of those day's)
    it was not you and it may or not have been true Doh!!!!!!

  5. #5
    contink's Avatar
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    Re: Stopped for not speeding

    Quote Originally Posted by bossman
    Geoff:
    apologies for not reading the beginning of your post (one of those day's)
    it was not you and it may or not have been true Doh!!!!!!
    I'm sorry sir, where does it say that this isn't Geoff's experience... I certainly didn't see anything... it was partially obscured by my tea mug, so it doesn't apply...

    *ahem*... I'll get my coat then shall I? 8)


    Sorry, couldn't help myself...

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    localzuk's Avatar
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    Re: Stopped for not speeding

    Sounds about right in my experience of police. I've been arrested in the past for holding a poster outside a shop which told people what that shop had done - because it was offensive to the shop owners (it explained that the company had paid money to another, ill reputed, company for cosmetics/animal testing. The language was simply factual, along the lines of 'Company X paid for cosmetic testing on animals at Company Y, Date')...

    When explaining that there isn't a law against being offensive to people, let alone companies, the officer simply carried on whilst quoting various laws which don't apply. It doesn't matter that no laws were broken, the officer didn't want to admit that she was wrong when told. So they simply arrest, and then got sued for it...

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    ninjabeaver's Avatar
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    Re: Stopped for not speeding

    The beginning of his post was probably osbscured by another one. So it only half applies.

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    Vegas's Avatar
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    Re: Stopped for not speeding

    Best laugh i've had all week, thanks

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    Re: Stopped for not speeding

    Obviousely weren't meating their targets that month.

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    Re: Stopped for not speeding

    Quote Originally Posted by localzuk
    Sounds about right in my experience of police. I've been arrested in the past for holding a poster outside a shop which told people what that shop had done - because it was offensive to the shop owners (it explained that the company had paid money to another, ill reputed, company for cosmetics/animal testing. The language was simply factual, along the lines of 'Company X paid for cosmetic testing on animals at Company Y, Date')...
    Bloody crusty animal righters
    *puts on People for the Eating of Tasty Animals T-Shirt*

    *runs from localz*

  11. #11

    localzuk's Avatar
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    Re: Stopped for not speeding

    Quote Originally Posted by Midget
    Bloody crusty animal righters
    *puts on People for the Eating of Tasty Animals T-Shirt*

    *runs from localz*
    Hmm! I'm in no way crusty! I'm very uncrusty in fact.

    Now, where did I put my paint stripper? (Well, we can all stereotype :P)

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    Midget's Avatar
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    Re: Stopped for not speeding

    Leave my panda skin jacket out of this :P

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    Re: Stopped for not speeding

    LOL. Great story.

    I hate it when someone tries to have a go at you for something and they're completely wrong...they know it but wont admit it.

    British Gas are a good example.....some woman quoted the price per kWh for my lecky on the prepay meter....which it isnt...because my meter TELLS me the price per unit. She then went on to tell me that i must be reading it wrong because her bit of paper must be more up to date than my meter which updated the price yesterday when i topped it up.

    I got full marks in my instrumentation and measurement module...if i can read an oscilloscope i can bloody well read a prepay electricity meter. *sigh* That and 4 different people cant have read it wrong.

    That and animal rights.......hmmm...i like steak too much to care To take the words of Dylan Moran "You're meant to eat the cows! They'd be hanging around in book shops in the way if we didn't!"

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    Re: Stopped for not speeding

    tell the other person in the other forum to report them.

    Police think they are above the law and will try lots of dirty tricks and tactics to intimidate others.
    And when you have the bulls to question them, they don't like it and threaten you with worst action.

  15. #15

    tech_guy's Avatar
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    Re: Stopped for not speeding

    Quote Originally Posted by paulhyman
    when you have the bulls to question them...
    OLE!

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