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General EduGeek News/Announcements Thread, EduGeek Christmas 2007 Competition in EduGeek Stuff; According to page 14 of the manual it should be on the HyperSpin™ cycle with Whirlwind technology at 40°c only...
  1. #31

    webman's Avatar
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    Re: EduGeek Christmas 2007 Competition

    According to page 14 of the manual it should be on the HyperSpin™ cycle with Whirlwind technology at 40°c only

  2. #32

    beeswax's Avatar
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    Re: EduGeek Christmas 2007 Competition

    Quote Originally Posted by K.C.Leblanc
    I've got an Indesit Waher Dryer. What cycle should I use on my Argos crockery and star wars mugs?
    As with people who own Ferraris and other expensive baubles and don't put them through a machine wash for fear of spoiling the paintwork, if your Star Wars mugs are valuable to you then hand wash is the only way.

  3. #33

    mac_shinobi's Avatar
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    Re: EduGeek Christmas 2007 Competition

    (to the tune of "Jingle Bells")

    Nine-tenths of a gig,
    Biggest ever seen,
    God, this program's big--
    MS Word 15!
    Comes on ten CDs,
    And requires--damn!
    Word is fine, but jeez--
    60 megs of RAM?!

    Oh! Microsoft, Microsoft,
    Bloatware all the way!
    I've sat here installing Word
    Since breakfast yesterday!
    Oh! Microsoft, Microsoft,
    Moderation, please.
    Guess you hadn't noticed:
    Four-gig drives don't grow on trees!

  4. #34

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    Re: EduGeek Christmas 2007 Competition

    The 12 Probs of Christmas

    For the first prob of Christmas, my NM said to me:
    See if they can do it again

    For the second prob of Christmas, my NM said to me:
    Ask them how they did it and
    See if they can do it again

    For the third prob of Christmas, my NM said to me:
    Try to reproduce it
    Ask them how they did it and
    See if they can do it again

    For the fourth prob of Christmas, my NM said to me:
    Switch it off and on
    Try to reproduce it
    Ask them how they did it and
    See if they can do it again

    For the fifth prob of Christmas, my NM said to me:
    Try System Restore.......

    Switch it off and on
    Try to reproduce it
    Ask them how they did it and
    See if they can do it again

    For the sixth prob of Christmas, my NM said to me:
    Sort out all the updates
    Try System Restore
    Switch it off and on
    Try to reproduce it
    Ask them how they did it and
    See if they can do it again

    For the seventh prob of Christmas, my NM said to me:
    Reinstall the program
    Sort out all the updates
    Try System Restore
    Switch it off and on
    Try to reproduce it
    Ask them how they did it and
    See if they can do it again

    For the eighth Prob of Christmas my NM said to me:
    Call the software help line
    Reinstall the program
    Sort out all the updates
    Try System Restore
    Switch it off and on
    Try to reproduce it
    Ask them how they did it and
    See if they can do it again

    For the ninth prob of Christmas, my NM said to me:
    Blame it on the memory
    Call the software help line
    Reinstall the program
    Sort out all the updates
    Try System Restore
    Switch it off and on
    Try to reproduce it
    Ask them how they did it and
    See if they can do it again

    For the tenth prob of Christmas, my NM said to me:
    Try and get around it
    Blame it on the memory
    Call the software help line
    Reinstall the program
    Sort out all the updates
    Try System Restore
    Switch it off and on
    Try to reproduce it
    Ask them how they did it and
    See if they can do it again

    For the eleventh prob of Christmas, my NM said to me:
    Tell 'em its the hardware
    Try and get around it
    Blame it on the memory
    Call the software help line
    Reinstall the program
    Sort out all the updates
    Try System Restore
    Switch it off and on
    Try to reproduce it
    Ask them how they did it and
    See if they can do it again

    For the twelfth prob of Christmas, my NM said to me:
    NO bl**dy idea!
    Tell 'em its the hardware
    Try and get around it
    Blame it on the memory
    Call the software help line
    Reinstall the program
    Sort out all the updates
    Try System Restore
    Switch it off and on
    Try to reproduce it
    Ask them how they did it and
    See if they can do it again!


    (probably shouldn't be in the contest as I based it on one I found - but I thought it was fun anyway)

  5. #35
    gwendes's Avatar
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    Re: EduGeek Christmas 2007 Competition

    that's the best so far WITCH

  6. #36

    tech_guy's Avatar
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    Re: EduGeek Christmas 2007 Competition

    Have you ever tried poaching fish in your dishwasher? You wrap it in silver foil with whatever garnish/marinade, etc you want. I tried it once and it tasted disgusting. Perhaps I wasn't supposed to do a wash cycle at the same time?

    :-)

  7. #37
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    Re: EduGeek Christmas 2007 Competition

    Now quite what we needed and I haven't the time to finish it but here's something I started writing for a bit of light entertainment...

    As the server went crashing with a new Winupdate
    All thoughts of glad tidings went poof at a rate

    The techies all sobbed as the budget was bare
    while their manager sat pulling out bits of his hair


    The teachers all ranted as amazon went dead
    No more online shopping, but teaching instead
    The techies sat quietly observing this scene
    Absorbing abuse and some threats quite obscene
    When all of sudden an idea began growing
    and a techie sat back as his pulse started slowing
    As if in a daze he grabbed a spare phone
    Lifted the handset and prayed for a tone
    The teachers caught sight of the glowering man
    Prompting swift exit and departures for home

    At last he had peace and some space for his task
    So he grabbed a quick belt from his little hip flask
    The microsoft engineer listened with sorrow
    And said he'd be calling him back by tomorrow
    But knowing this tactic the techie held firm
    "Your life will be forfeit, you scumsucking worm
    If you don't want me calling to speak to your boss
    Get down here you fool I'm really quite cross"
    The phone it went silent at MS HQ
    The brain cell was buzzing bout what they could do

    ....
    Feel free to complete

  8. #38
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    Re: EduGeek Christmas 2007 Competition

    BAND AID - at least i tried lol (sing to the tune of band aid)

    It's Backup time, There's no need to be afraid
    at backup time we run the batch files

    and in our school of pleanty, we can spread viruses of joy
    shut your machines down for me, it's backup time

    Run the scheules
    Pray for the Updates
    at backup time, it hard but when your having fun
    there's apple outside your windows
    and it's a world of dreaded fear
    where the only commande running are ctrl-alt and delete
    and the mouse click are clicking, on shiney mighty mouse

    well tonight thank god it's apple, instead of you

  9. #39

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    Re: EduGeek Christmas 2007 Competition

    To the tune of We Three Kings:


    Computers in Schools
    what mayhem they give
    We IT Technicians
    are caught in the midst
    Of teachers who can't
    use Word or Excel
    or the students who try to hack in.

    Ohhhh

    Filter of calm
    please delight
    by stopping the porn getting in tonight.
    No virii in my emails,
    No trojans or worms,
    Keep nasty files out of sight.

    Blue screens of death
    are real pests
    especially when doing
    the KS3 tests.
    The problems obscure
    and the only cure
    is to log the kids in as guests.

    Ohhhh

    Filter of calm
    please delight
    by stopping the porn getting in tonight.
    No virii in my emails,
    No trojans or worms,
    Keep nasty files out of sight.

    SQL has died
    so SIMS is no more
    MOODLE has faltered
    and there's a knock on the door.
    Its the Deputy Head
    So stressed and red
    'Cos his inkjets leaked all over the floor.

    Ohhhh

    Filter of calm
    please delight
    by stopping the porn getting in tonight.
    No virii in my emails,
    No trojans or worms,
    Keep nasty files out of sight.

  10. #40
    kerrymoralee9280
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    Re: EduGeek Christmas 2007 Competition

    Quote Originally Posted by thegrassisgreener
    BAND AID - at least i tried lol (sing to the tune of band aid)

    It's Backup time, There's no need to be afraid
    at backup time we run the batch files

    and in our school of pleanty, we can spread viruses of joy
    shut your machines down for me, it's backup time

    Run the scheules
    Pray for the Updates
    at backup time, it hard but when your having fun
    there's apple outside your windows
    and it's a world of dreaded fear
    where the only commande running are ctrl-alt and delete
    and the mouse click are clicking, on shiney mighty mouse

    well tonight thank god it's apple, instead of you
    Nice try, but I struggled to understand any of that (is it just me?)

    I think WITCH is winning so far!

  11. #41
    ICT_GUY's Avatar
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    Re: EduGeek Christmas 2007 Competition

    Quick and dirty, to the tune of once in roal davids city, sort of.

    Once in the server room,
    Stood a lowly computer we assume,
    Where a Technician laid his dell server,
    In a rack to entomb:
    Software that was so bland and mild,
    Jesus Christ, its uncompiled.

    He came down to install,
    The network admin and Lord of all,
    And His shelter was a desk,
    Looking at girls who were burlesque :
    With the poor, and mean, and lowly,
    Lived on caffeine our engineer so weary.

    For He is our network guardian;
    Day by day, like us, He grew so drunken;
    He was embittered, down trodden, and vindictive,
    Tears and smiles, He managed to be so furtive.
    And He cares when we are watching you tube,
    As long as it is free of the dreaded boob..

    And our eyes at last shall see Him,
    Through His own cheap Webcam;
    For that admin, so unhappy and overloaded,
    Health and safety always flouted:
    And He leads The children on,
    To the place where the back up has gone.

    And Finally it does install,
    But omg it does appall.
    For that Damn software, so bad and poor,
    Is up and running, praise to our savior:
    And He leaves to go on his way,
    All problems complete for another day.

  12. #42

    GrumbleDook's Avatar
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    Re: EduGeek Christmas 2007 Competition

    Keep them coming folks ... not long to go!

  13. #43

    witch's Avatar
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    Re: EduGeek Christmas 2007 Competition

    No I'm not winning as I did say that I had based it on one I found on the web.
    I'm sure everyone else made theirs up from scratch, and I think they are all brilliant - if a little obscure in places! I like TheFopps, mainly for his use of the word 'virii'

  14. #44
    mark's Avatar
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    Re: EduGeek Christmas 2007 Competition

    inspired by thegrassisgreener ( great job mate ):

    [ i'm a mod so this isn't an entry of course ]

    It's upgrade time, and there's no need to be afraid
    At upgrade time, SIMS never works, that's how it's made

    And in our world of uncertainty,
    we can spread a smile of joy.
    No registers to take, it's upgrade time!

    Just say a prayer, pray for the other ones
    Techies are there, pulling out their hair, wondering what Capita have done
    It costs the world to buy this software, why does it have to cause such pain?!
    Well tonight thank god it's them, instead of you

    You can bet our budget will be cut next April time,
    The greatest joy we'll get this year is less to spend.
    Capita, bank balance growing,
    and development so slow
    Do you know it's upgrade time at all!?

    Here's to us - watching while this upgrade runs
    Here's to them - Capita with all our funds
    Do they know it's upgrade time at all!?

    No there won't be sleep tonight inside the techies room.
    If they could, they'd get out of there, and get a life
    There's a world outside their window
    It's a world without Capita pain
    Do they know it's upgrade time at all..

  15. #45

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    Re: EduGeek Christmas 2007 Competition

    (to the tune of Fairytale of New York)

    It was Christmas Eve again,
    In the office,
    Working late again, updates to do.
    And then the call came in,
    A deputy on the phone,
    And as I took the call,
    I knew I’d never get home.

    I’m such an unlucky one,
    Five minutes and I’d have been gone,
    I’ve got a feeling,
    This might be bad.
    Can’t get his email,
    His files are missing,
    And SIMS is on the blink,
    I know I’m going to end up mad.

    The server was down,
    And try as I might,
    The drive wouldn’t spin up,
    LED’s all alight.
    I opened the RAID cage,
    Pray what did I see?
    Two small yellow warning lights,
    Blinking at me.

    They were dead,
    I was certain,
    Data gone for a burton,
    All the records and emails,
    Forever no more.
    With the phone still a ringing,
    The hard drives I was slinging,
    Backup tapes from the corner,
    In dusty old drawer.

    And the restore is now in its second hour
    But there’s still no end in sight.
    And I know it’s going to be,
    A long long night.

    Pray to God
    It’s not Junk
    Or the tape hasn’t shrunk
    Or my life’s not worth living, come tomorrow at dawn
    I yell and I curse,
    It couldn’t be any worse,
    All the tapes are unlabled
    And the throughput is poor.

    And the restore is now in its third hour
    But there’s still no end in sight.
    And I know it’s going to be,
    A long long night.

    Instead of being at home,
    I’m stuck beside the phone,
    Trying to calm the foam,
    Of user anger.
    But now the end is near,
    It’s time to give a cheer,
    I’m finally leaving here,
    On Christmas Eve

    And the restore is now in its final hour
    And there’s an end in sight.
    And I knew it was going to be,
    A long long night.

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