"Your flight to Washington leaves tomorrow evening and the dress code for a driver is x."
"Yes, but it is only for 7 weeks and it is 8 days on and 3 days off. There will be enought of you to cover."
"Washington? I presume we are talking about the place in the States and not the North East, sir."
"How are we flying over?"
"Will I be using an automatic at all?"
"No, no weapons at all."
"I meant an automatic car ... I'm presuming that this is what I would need after my surgery next week."
"On my knee."
"Oh yes ... We'll reschedule that."
"What are the arrangements for passports, sir?"
"Just keep hold of it, no need for anyone to centrally hold them."
"If you remember sir ... I don't have one."
"Why didn't you get it sorted when we started this 5 months ago?"
"You've only just told me about it now, sir."
"Now listen here, Orders clearly named 5 people to go on this detail. are you telling me that you have failed to read Orders?"
(ruffling through orders to find the relevant section)
"Here you go, 5 people to be staff drivers. All existing drivers considered. If spaces available others can apply."
"Yes sir, but there are no names."
"But you are down as a driver."
"Then you put your name in."
"Then someone else did."
(quick check of the boss and the RSM)
"I'm afraid we can't find who might have put my name in, sir."
"Well, we'll work something on the passport. All you need is to be able to drive the staff cars and be 25."
"Spit it out lad."
"I'm 23, sir."
(storms out the Guard Room)
Much like most people's experience of service life!
Mind you, I had a decent Warrant Officer....who sent me to Greenham Common...and then on HMS Ark Royal!