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General Chat Thread, Classic IT Support 'types'.... in General; The Buzzword regurgitater. This one has an opinion on everything. He'll stand over you whilst you fix something and help ...
  1. #46

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    The Buzzword regurgitater.

    This one has an opinion on everything. He'll stand over you whilst you fix something and help you out by asking you if its every single component in the darn machine, but only with 1990's ict knowledge. They will ask you why you are bother using MDT and SCCM when you could use this fantastic thing called SMS they have read about. They greet every development with... is it web 2.0 , does it have an app, can I access it on my iphone from my car up a hill. If you ask them to fix any problem they will turn up with every piece of equipment they care to show off before they even look at the problem ( you'll be lucky if they've even bothered to read the original email). Any problem can be solved with updates and of course the first random google result is the one that the end user needs to follow to end their woes. They will be a god on child protection and internet safety but only after the event.

    A bullpooping liability with the patter of a salesman and the knowledge of a GCSE IT book from the 1990's. And an Iphone.

  2. 2 Thanks to strawberry:

    Ephelyon (26th June 2013), witch (20th June 2013)

  3. #47

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    Quote Originally Posted by happymeal View Post
    The Wanderer

    This guy - knows it all. No, really. He was never born - he was the result of a mish-mash of Encarta, the Matrix and a few dodgy Command Lines.
    If you ever have a problem, he knows the reason for it, what you should have done to fix it, and how to prevent it in the future.

    The only problem is that he/she/it was born with a 6th sense - which is to predict the exact time when a problem will occur and to flee the scene and not be able to answer phone calls/texts/emails.

    So ultimately, you get landed with the job and after much troubleshooting and a long lengthy fix to resolve the problem, a vibe is sent out. Much alike a high-pitched whistle to dogs - this call snaps the Wanderer out of his/her/it's trance and they then retreat back to their lair and then proceed to tell you what you should have done.
    Definite similarities with the 'know all' here. But you are dead right. I've come across this type loads of times!! They always know the answer, always tell you what you should have done. A bit like when you go to visit your relatives in the Shires on Boxing day and one bright spark always reckons there's a far easier route to get there than you took. Despite the fact you've been going there for 30 years and have the shortest and quickest route to a tee. But get him in the car with you and he won't have a clue. "Must have changed the roads a bit since I was last here".

  4. #48

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    And another type which started to become very common in the early 2000s.

    "The MSCE"

    Their career in IT started when they paid £3000 to do a full blown MSCE advertised in the local paper. The advert promised them £30,000 a year once qualified. However, they soon got bored with it all. All these odd and funny terms. 'Delegation of control Wizard' 'Reverse lookup zones' 'layer two tunneling protocol' and some totally hideous sounding command lines. All those tedious labs, "hey, wheres the action? I thought IT was fun?" They lose interest but hear of these 'brain dumps' which if studied hard will get you through the exams. The lure of that £30k starting salary kicks in again. Off they go, get through the exams due to a mix of of what they learned in class and braindumping. Awarded an MSCE which must mean they are an IT Professional.

    And so they land their first job as a network engineer. This lasts about a month as despite their best efforts, they fall at every first hurdle. In fact, they struggled to even diagnose a faulty patch cable. So off they go, convinced it was just a bad experience, exaggerate on their CV and manage to get another job with a smaller IT company. Again, out after a month having totally screwed up a server and lost data. And so it carries on. Eventually end up buying a server off ebay, setting up a couple of client PC's and go back to their study material to replicate some true to life environments. Including building a server from scratch, setting up DHCP and applying group policies. As they've become handy with a screwdriver and now have some basic OS skills get a £15k job with PC repair shop which has a few base techies and field engineers. Know all attitude puts them at odds with technicians which have nothing on paper but know their stuff. Soon gets a dose of reality, knows that £30k job is still miles away and becomes a bit more humble about it all. Gets some experience with networks shadowing another engineer and is soon capable of providing basic administration of a small network. Two years pass and and he's now getting a bit more confident with network administration and is now charged with looking after a 50 user site with a senior engineer to help him out if things get a bit hairy. 3 years pass and he's now a popular and respected IT support worker. Fancies a change. Applies and gets a £35k job in Central London working for a multinational company. Fits in fine once he learns the territory. Just realises his MSCE has expired but couldn't care less as he's now got a proven track record.

  5. 4 Thanks to superatticman:

    Ephelyon (26th June 2013), happymeal (21st June 2013), JoeBloggs (28th June 2013), witch (27th June 2013)

  6. #49
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    All we need now is David Attenborough to narrate this.

  7. #50

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    @superatticman, that's actually quite an encouraging story considering there are so many who don't get that eventual break, I think. +1 to David Attenborough narrating it, or possibly Morgan Freeman.

    Here's another type:

    The Responsibility Sponge

    With technical ability ranging from weak to exceptional, this denizen of disused prep rooms and staff-room-annex server rooms sees their responsibilities creep up with each passing year as another device with a plug on it is added to their silo. E-safety is piled on top of them as well, and their conscience won't allow them to flatly refuse when others are claiming they have no time for it. Having wanted to specialise (and having a skillset that is really intended for that), they instead find themselves lumbered with everything under the sun. The stress piles up until at some point they leave or have a heart attack. Despite all of this they actually quite enjoy a lot of their job while it lasts, sometimes too eager to say no because of this. Often this creature will progress towards the infamous BOFH type in later life, having not been born evil but had all the enthusiasm beaten out of them.

  8. #51

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ephelyon View Post
    @superatticman, that's actually quite an encouraging story considering there are so many who don't get that eventual break, I think. +1 to David Attenborough narrating it, or possibly Morgan Freeman.

    Here's another type:

    The Responsibility Sponge

    With technical ability ranging from weak to exceptional, this denizen of disused prep rooms and staff-room-annex server rooms sees their responsibilities creep up with each passing year as another device with a plug on it is added to their silo. E-safety is piled on top of them as well, and their conscience won't allow them to flatly refuse when others are claiming they have no time for it. Having wanted to specialise (and having a skillset that is really intended for that), they instead find themselves lumbered with everything under the sun. The stress piles up until at some point they leave or have a heart attack. Despite all of this they actually quite enjoy a lot of their job while it lasts, sometimes too eager to say no because of this. Often this creature will progress towards the infamous BOFH type in later life, having not been born evil but had all the enthusiasm beaten out of them.
    The opposite to this is the "Never responsible for Anything"
    The person who always offloads the blame to someone or something else. Never his fault. Never anything he (yes, OK, or she) did.

  9. #52

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    True, although you do get those in all professions.

  10. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dos_Box View Post
    Currently left out is 'I-Hate-IT-But-I-Do-It-Because-It's-A-Job'. This is a strange and, thankfully, rare creature can be found working in a large array of jobs in the IT sector. Whilst usually not incompetent they see IT as a job, pure and simple. Unusually they are often very well certified/qualified but have zero interest in the area of their expertise. They cannot be draw into conversation about any IT related subjects, especially after hours, and forget them spending a bit of their own time investigating a problem. Any questioning of this personal policy will be greeted with a curt 'They don't pay me for that'.
    Thankfully uncommon, but if you ever do encounter one don't try and strike up an IT related conversation with them unless you want the reply 'That 'stuff' doesn't interest me, I have a life'. Stangely they never reveal what this 'life' actually is.
    lol what's wrong with this one though? Maybe because it just sounds like me! But I don't get why people in IT are normally so happy to work longer hours than contracted, without pay and little to no gratitude?!?! I don't get why people who want to get out on time should be looked down on!

  11. #54

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sam_Brown View Post
    lol what's wrong with this one though? Maybe because it just sounds like me! But I don't get why people in IT are normally so happy to work longer hours than contracted, without pay and little to no gratitude?!?! I don't get why people who want to get out on time should be looked down on!
    To be honest I've little interest in the real nitty gritty of IT. However, I enjoy providing solutions through IT and enjoy managing projects and overseeing stuff in general. I'm content working in IT, but certainly wouldn't find me staying late running through some hideous powershell commands all for the love of it!!

    I know what you are getting at though. Those genuine enthusiasts who put in all kinds of extra hours because its some kind of busman's holiday should not expect others to do so. The admin staff, builders etc certainly won't stay late for no reward so that should apply to IT too!

  12. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rydra View Post
    The Catch 22

    This techie has worked in the industry for a good few years, and is now pretty good at what he does. Most things are fixed in record time, and anything that isn't is more likely to do with prioritisation than because of lack of knowledge/ability. He can do most things despite not having the certificates to prove it, and as a result finds it hard to obtain the training, either because work dont see the need, he can't afford it, or see's them as a waste of time since they really can do it already.
    A thankless individual, he is under-appreciated in general, as people are used to him being able to accomplish almost any task. He is stuck in the rut of employment; where he's too good at what he does where he is, therefore everything works and he is mostly getting bored with the daily tasks and sporadic projects, compared to a lesser-experienced body who would still struggle to keep things running as smoothly, and therefore be (or at least appear) busier.
    This techie will either one day get a lucky break and move onto some new exciting role within IT, or give it all up to become a Bottanist.
    Me in a nut shell, I did get my lucky break as well. Certainly got my new exciting job in IT as the boss and I totally love it and even my IT Team is much happier (so are staff too!!).

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rydra View Post
    The Catch 22

    This techie has worked in the industry for a good few years, and is now pretty good at what he does. Most things are fixed in record time, and anything that isn't is more likely to do with prioritisation than because of lack of knowledge/ability. He can do most things despite not having the certificates to prove it, and as a result finds it hard to obtain the training, either because work dont see the need, he can't afford it, or see's them as a waste of time since they really can do it already.
    A thankless individual, he is under-appreciated in general, as people are used to him being able to accomplish almost any task. He is stuck in the rut of employment; where he's too good at what he does where he is, therefore everything works and he is mostly getting bored with the daily tasks and sporadic projects, compared to a lesser-experienced body who would still struggle to keep things running as smoothly, and therefore be (or at least appear) busier.
    This techie will either one day get a lucky break and move onto some new exciting role within IT, or give it all up to become a Bottanist.
    Bit of a mixture between The Catch-22 and The Re-Tred here.

    Not moving on to any more exciting role, nor giving it up to become a Botanist. Going to see through our back-end replacement/virtualisation/migration to 2012 and accompanying Office and Exchange versions, then take early retirement, if the redundancy doesn't get me first. Which I hope it does, as I then qualify for full pension and get to bow out early.

    Apart from the back-end replacement, which has to happen whatever, we're drinking in the proverbial Last Chance Saloon here, with August 23rd possibly becoming Year Zero.

    Hope that's not too cryptic for anyone, and if it is, ask someone who's good at crosswords what I mean by it all.

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